To think the age of leaving home is getting higher and higher

[Fatcat00]

Sparked by a comment I’ve just read on a tiktok video “we can’t afford to leave home”

I know many people late 20s still living at home. The norm as I understand it is you’d leave home at around 19/20 years ago. Now I know everyone can’t afford a deposit for a mortgage (also read something about 0 deposit mortgages being a thing recently?) but do people just not move out because they don’t want to rent?

I’m trying to have a better understanding on what is the norm now. And how people do things. Purely out of interest but also because I fell on very fortunate circumstances where this is not something I’ve ever had to deal with or think about. There seems to be a divide of people saying kids should move out by X age by any means even if it’s a house hard, and another half saying no. What do you believe to be the case generally?

Oh I can absolutely relate. My mum couldn’t wait to get rid of me and made my life very difficult in order for me to do so. The irony was she absolutely loathed the fact I was renovating and able to buy things to furnish my home. Because “she couldn’t do that” apparently.

In my circle, people tend to move away at uni or just after, but then come back to live at home for a bit when they want to save to buy.

I wish I'd have stayed home longer to be honest.

I moved out at 18.

Any of my children can stay home as long as they want, as long as they are contributing towards household costs after the age of 18. The rent and house prices are shocking, I don't see them getting any better and I wouldn't want them to struggle.

DH’s granny was talking the other day about moving out as she was saying it’s so hard for young ones now. When she and his grandad set their wedding date they went to the council and they collected their keys for their house on the Monday after being married on the Saturday. The council apparently used to give you the keys the week before but stopped doing that after they struggled to get the keys back after a cancelled wedding!

She said if you were allocated a house with really dodgy neighbours (or next door to your in laws) you’d go in and say your wedding had been cancelled, wait a week and go back in hoping someone else had got it and you got something else.

It was a whole other world.

I think renting has become really expensive now. I lived in Edinburgh when I was younger and rented throughout my 20s. You could get a really nice room in a shared central flat plus bills for about a third of your salary of a full time min wage job. My friends and I all had a lovely time with lots of disposable income/ lots of going out. Now I’m told it’d cost two thirds of your salary which makes it pretty crap.

Obviously the cost.
It’s insane now. If you are single and on low pay you are screwed.
I know someone who is 39 and still at home. Single and works in childcare. Not a chance she could afford to buy in the south east or even rent alone.
Sad that people are in this situation. Not everyone has rich parents or partners to fund housing.

DS graduated in July and moved to a different city for his first graduate job at the end of August, all aged 21, now living in a rented flat. That's pretty quick. But he worked his balls off to get a graduate job, started applying last September and spent most of September through to January doing applications, online aptitude tests, online group and single interviews and finally physical face to face interviews and assessment centres in January culminating in him getting 4 job offers so he chose the one in the nicest city! None of his Uni flat mates have got jobs and all are back living at home - funnily enough, none of them put that much effort into finding a job last Autumn/Winter!

It’s not all down to hard work though it is. Many of my friends who have partners would never be able to do it alone for example. Also, the lady who I mentioned upthread works hard but cannot afford to move out.

I agree that many young adu

The age of leaving home is getting higher and higher as the cost of living is getting higher and higher.

My DH didn't go to university first time round (he left school in the 70s) and stayed at home while working. His parents were in social housing and their rent (and the amount of space they got) was determined by whether or not he was there. When he'd saved up enough he got a small flat of his own (I think in his late 20s) but AFAIK he contributed his portion of the rent while he was working.
When he moved out his parents were moved by the HA into a one bedroom flat as they didn't need anything bigger.
I think he was also watching his friends get married (we didn't meet till much later - he had a long term GF around that time who from his tales just didn't want to move out from her parents at all) so decided if that wasn't happening soon he'd get his own place.
Of course it was much easier then to buy BUT the idea that he was either a) moving out into his own place at 18 or b) not contributing and therefore saving loads of money are both false.

Are you British? Or from a culture that typically expects men to “lead” in life? Because it’s incredibly unusual to have never had to pay a bill or rent and not know anyone who’s ever lived in a house share. And while these things might not be your personal experience is it really that hard to imagine how most people live? The cost of living crisis is in the news every day, it can’t be a shock to you that housing is too expensive especially for early career young adults

It was normal for everyone I know mid-40s to about 70 that if they went away to university they didn't live back home afterwards.

My own mother and a few women I've met actually forced at least one of their sons, who moved back in after university, to move out after a couple of years.

Oddly no-one had that issue with their daughters.

Some parent(s) actually ensured their adult children couldn't move back home except for very short periods or actually at all by moving to much smaller properties or moving abroad. I met a few people at uni who had separated parents where one moved to smaller property where there was no room for them while the other moved abroad. The adult child was then welcome to spend their uni holidays abroad if they could afford the travel costs...

In 2022, the average age to move out in the UK 25 years old. Looking at the national statistics, young women left the home slightly earlier than young menand this number also changed depending on location in the united kingdom. Londoners left home on average 5 years later than everyone else in the country.

You say you couldn’t have done it but it sounds like your choice would basically have been a house share or staying with your mum, who made it clear she wanted you to move out, had you not have had the option to move straight into a house your husband bought when you were 20.

the average age to buy your first house is 33 years old. While in London the average age to buy a first home is 35 years old.

Correct link

https://www.urbanlocker.co.uk/what-is-the-average-age-to-move-out-in-the-uk/#:~:text=While%20the%20average%20age%20to,house%20is%2033%20years%20old.

My oldest bought a house at 23 with his now wife who was 22 - both now 24 and 25. They had £30000 in lifetime ISAs for their deposit and he has a well paid job for his age. My youngest is 21 and studying for his degree part time and working part time around it. We're putting into his lifetime ISA while ever he lives at home. I can imagine him still being here nearer to 30.. We don't mind, we enjoy his company, and he babysits his furry siblings if we want an evening out alone!

Depends on your life. I lost a parent as a child and wasn't ready to leave home when I went to uni. I moved out for 2 years when I was 22 then moved back when 24. I stayed until I got married at 31 😂 My mum made it easy for me though. I would probably encourage DS to move out, if he could, just to foster a bit more independence.

My children are still teenagers, but several of their friends have older siblings in their early-mid 20’s.

Thinking about it, I only know a couple who are currently living at home (both 23), the others went to university and didn’t move back home. It surprises me, tbh.

I agree that renting, even in a house share, is ridiculously expensive now. It’s a real shame, because one benefit I got from it back in the day (25 years ago!) is that it taught me how to get along with people and definitely
rubbed off a few corners that I had, possibly due to being an only child. I’ve lived in house shares, a tiny bedsit, also shared a flat with a friend. For me at least, they were formative experiences.

DD (18) plans to share a house with three friends next year. I think it’ll be good for her.

Its because property in the UK is a ponzi scheme.

Much needed housing developments are not built because of nimbyism and the Conservative party leaning into their base (white, older, affluent voters who don't want their property or pension plan jeopardised. Massive amounts of hypocrisy. I can recall my own mother decrying house prices for myself and my siblings, but when I suggested that they should allow planning permission near her detached house just outside London she looked at me like I sprouted a second head.

As the demand vastly outstrips supply, prices remain insanely high which benefits everyone - the UK government, estate agents and those that hold property. It is going to take a brave government to buck this trend. I hope Starmer has the guts to go all the way on it.

I think people now feel they 'can't' leave home until they can afford to buy.

That didn't used to be the case. We rented. Of course, rent was much cheaper then which is another problem.

Nowadays private rents are huge and on a month to month basis more expensive than mortgage payments in many cases.

Also I think (generally) people are staying in their 'teen years' longer. I mean the teen/kid mentality. Lots more people in their mid sometimes even late 20s seem more like 18 or 19 year olds.

I don't know if that's part of the reason they aren't ready to strike out on their own or if it's a result of living with their parents well into adulthood and so still being the 'child' iyswim.

Luckily people in my area aren't complete nimbys.

We do care if developers try to build only one bedroom flats in a 5+ storey building.

However if they build a mixture of flats and houses on larger sites, a block of 2+ bedroom flats on smaller sites and reasonable size houses on other sites they get their planning through with no objections.

I know from some of the "discussions" that developers have held in recent years they are terrified of people in my neighbourhood as when we object there enough people with information about planning to do it properly.

Ds1 (24) went to uni, halls in year 1, student house in year 2 and moved in with boyfriend in year 3 and 4 all paid for by us (just his rent not boyfriend)

once he got a job we stopped paying his rent and now he owns the hiuse with his boyfriend

dd (21) did two foundation years in guildford and london both paid for by us, then a year in london in a job also paid for by us. She now has a two year let on a flat which she will need to share with someone

ds2 (20) is in his final year at uni. He lives here and his plan is to stay here once he has a job and when he is secure in the job he may well try and buy/rent somewhere

What is wrong with 1 bed flats? It is single people who are the hardest hit through this shortage, makes sense to build a lot of those.