To think the age of leaving home is getting higher and higher

[Fatcat00]

Sparked by a comment I’ve just read on a tiktok video “we can’t afford to leave home”

I know many people late 20s still living at home. The norm as I understand it is you’d leave home at around 19/20 years ago. Now I know everyone can’t afford a deposit for a mortgage (also read something about 0 deposit mortgages being a thing recently?) but do people just not move out because they don’t want to rent?

I’m trying to have a better understanding on what is the norm now. And how people do things. Purely out of interest but also because I fell on very fortunate circumstances where this is not something I’ve ever had to deal with or think about. There seems to be a divide of people saying kids should move out by X age by any means even if it’s a house hard, and another half saying no. What do you believe to be the case generally?

That's exactly it, if you look at the census and other old records it's clear that single people lived at home or in a boarding house if necessary. Once they were married with dc council housing seems to have been fairly readily available. People only seemed to have bought property if they were relatively off.

I wonder in this scenario whether we British are too stuck in our ways. In other countries the idea of generations living together is more normalised.

Would it be impossible for them to pool funds and buy a bigger house for the all rather than holding out for them to be able to afford their own? Its not for everyone but if there is money coming in then maybe they just need to look at the bigger picture.

What years were that?

As council housing wasn't readily available in the 50s. One of my friends' fathers was a councillor at that time and has talked about how he dealt with housing problems all the time in his ward in London. He actually lived in council housing for a few years in the 60s.

Also there was accommodation specifically for single people in jobs like nurses, policemen and doctors.

I know one of my SILs now in her 60s lived in nurses accommodation, and then my doctor friends late 40s/early 50s lived in doctors accommodation. They were all in their 20s. The nurses accommodation was sold off in most places by the 90s.

The people I know who are still living with parents in their late 20s are doing it because they can't afford to move out. Rent prices are unaffordable on their salaries and even though they've managed to save enough for a small house deposit, they can only borrow up to 4x their salary which isn't enough for a house sadly. If you're in a city then house shares are an option but that's less common in small towns and villages.

The other thing is that a few years ago, 18 year olds could claim housing benefit, so if they weren't earning enough in their early jobs to cover all of their rent there was help available until they were doing financially better.

Around 10 years ago they stopped that, now people can only claim housing benefit after 25

Plus there is a lot less housing available, leading to much higher rents.

I moved out at 18 to go to uni, then onto the big smoke, then off travelling and then moved to the other side of the country to be with now DH.

I have 2 friends in their 30s living at home to save deposits for their own homes. We are from a pretty small town and rent for a small 2 bed is €1,000+ per month. Much better if your parents have the space and don't mind to live at home and save a deposit.

I can't really say I'd like it though. I have been 'in charge' of myself for too long now

It wasn't that different in the 50's/60's when you stayed at home until you got married in most circumstances. Marriage tended to be fairly young for women but not always for men so 30 year olds at home wasn't odd then (and if you did move out often it was to a boarding house with strict rules!)

We have 2 20 something dc living with us, saving to buy

The question is almost the other way around. People traditionally leave home to study, to work in a different area, to live with a partner (in their family home or somewhere new).

For a relatively short time young people on good or higher incomes left home purely by choice to have their own (or shared) place where they could have continued living in the family home.

Now the UK is back in line with most of Europe with young adults leaving home later or triggered by one of the big three reasons.

28 now. Left home 9 year ago to go to university (in the same city). Parents did not pay my rent. Got 475 a month in student loan and worked part time. That covered my rent (with a roommate) and bills and left me a wee bit for spending. Would get money for my birthday or Christmas to buy clothes without holes in them 😂

Still in the same city, got my degree 5 year ago, still saving for a deposit. My rent is double what it was then for a smaller space than I had as a student. Electricity bill has gone up at least 4x despite the smaller flat. I do not think the student loan + part time minimum wage would cover a student without parent help today.

Im going to be at least 30 by the time I manage the deposit. I'm putting away as much as I can each month, I did get a good job after uni, but even with "a good job" I still feel like I'm living a student life. Waiting til Christmas to buy trousers without holes 😂

My sister on the other hand stayed with my parents low rent through uni and after graduating. She had a flat within three years of graduating. I couldn't have done the same due to circumstances with my parents at the time. But staying later has benefitted her. I think it makes sense for most people. Rent and bills take up such a big portion of most people's salary, it makes sense to minimise it and wait until you can afford a mortgage.

It’s just not something I could personally cope with. I could move in with a friend at a push but the idea of sharing a house with strangers is just so alien to me. Again, props to people that can and do though.

My mother was sent away from home at 17 under the wartime direction of labour. I suspect the war was responsible for a lot of people moving our earlier than they otherwise would have done.

For my generation, I think education made a difference. For the 10% who went to uni, moving out was natural, but for those that left school at 16, getting a local job and living at home was the norm.

And yes, living with a partner while unmarried was a definite no-no.

No I don’t live in a cave ffs. I moved in with my partner when I was 20 I am now 31. He “bought” the home but it’s jointly ours, my role was making it a home furnishing decorating etc. it was a full renovation. I don’t take care of bills or anything like that so obviously I’m not accustomed to how some other people have it. Wasn’t aware it was so outrageously alien to ask a question.

Really interesting take. So much has changed in what - in the grand scheme of things - seems like such a short time.

Well, generally you don't share with strangers - you share with friends.

Agree with this

Another thing to consider is that many occupations used to provide accommodation: railway workers, nurses, police, and many others had accommodation provided allowing young people to start their working life away from home. These have mostly all gone - our police force for example has sold all their section houses and police family housing and now wonder why they can't recruit.

Well, I suppose war time to now is over 80 years, so getting on for a century, so a long time (80 years before the start of the war takes you back to when Queen Victoria was a relatively young woman of 40). On the other had, still within a (albeit long) lifetime.

Good point! My war-time mother was in a hostel for women under 21, in the next generation my cousin was in a nurses' home, and the road where I lived had several police houses, though mainly the Superintendent/Inspector level. More junior officers were allocated smaller houses.

In the country, tied cottages for agricultural workers were common, leading to problems when declining health meant that not on.y did they lose their job, but also their home.

Nowadays, are there any careers with accommodation provided apart from army, church, and the occasional hotel manager?Yes, probably lots, but it's not as common as it was.

My house cost 62k in 2000 the exact house next door sold for close to 300k 2 years ago. We bought on DH salary alone of 26k PA, I was on 22k PA. Those same jobs are now 37k and 28k, easy to check as info available online.

When we rented just before buying our rent was £400 pcm for a 2 bed terraced house, they are now £800 to 900 pcm.

You ask for an average person well that’s someone on around 31k as the median figure. Whoever answers your questions will have an unknown income and there are regional differences but it is pretty obvious why people live at home longer.

I'm in my thirties and only recently moved out of a flatshare.

They were strangers, not friends. I did move in with friends initially but they found partners (now husbands!) and moved out.

Some of the people I was living with were into their 40s.

If you found yourself with no other option, I'm sure you'd cope.

I wouldn’t want my children paying rent when they can live at home at save. Obviously it they didn’t save they can leave and rent ;)
my friends mostly left home at 30 but went on to buy their first flats in London. Doesn’t help that most city men don’t want to settle until gone 35.

Rents are so high too at the moment and so many applicants for each rental apparently.

All of my dc moved out between 18-25. They were all eager to fly the nest because we are very remote and they would struggle to find work/have a social life where we are.

One of mine struggled to find somewhere to rent despite us providing a good deposit and offering to be guarantors. They found somewhere eventually but had to move back home for a year after the house was turned into an air b&b. Recently moved out into another rental.
One of mine lives with their partners family in an annex and tbh they have it so nice there that I can’t see the couple looking for their own place.
One is at uni but will no doubt be back.
One lives in lodgings at their workplace.

I'd be curious to know if my experience is the same as others on here but I'm mid forties now and left for Uni at 18. I felt like my Mum was more than ready to push me out the nest, including making my room into a guest room as soon as I left! I only went home for three months after graduating, while I job searched. Never lived with her since. Financially it would have benefited me to stay home a little longer, but I had to pay a sizeable rent to my Mum anyway. I have told my two that there is no rush for them to leave home and that I will keep their rooms for them when they are at Uni. When I think of my contemporaries experiences, I think it was similar to mine.

My country (Finland) has one of the lower average ages for leaving home, 22, I expect because a fair few children move out at 16 to go to school elsewhere in the country (my SIL will be doing that next year, moving to a city nearby), especially if they live rurally, so it'll bring the average down. There's lots of housing for single people though which makes it easier (and some schools, like my vocational school, provides completely free housing). I live in a dying town so unless my children want factory jobs (very unlikely for DD, too early to tell with DS) they are likely to move out fairly young too.