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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is there anyone who WON’T be receiving an inheritance?

361 replies

PinkMoscatoLover · 16/10/2023 20:25

I’m not sure if it’s just me but sometimes I read posts and feel so out of touch! It seems like everyone and their dog on MN will receive an inheritance when a family member passes away.

Not one person in my family has a mortgage or owns their home outright. Those of pension age don’t have any pension savings saved up and rely on state pension (not too sure if that’s the correct wording as I’m not 100% on how it all works.) No one has any savings that they’ll pass on to their children/grandchildren/nieces & nephews etc.

I actually saw a comment on a thread that said, ‘can you ask your parents for an early payment that can just be taken out of your inheritance?’ Not everyone gets inheritance! Surely I can’t be the only one?

Just to add, this isn’t a post to say ‘oh boohoo look at me, I won’t receive anything when a family member passes away.’ It’s more a post to see if there’s other people on MN that have a similar family set up to mine!

OP posts:
Nottryingenough · 17/10/2023 09:09

Me probably. DP will in all likelihood but both parents would be dead for that to happen so who the hell would want that??

Zebedee55 · 17/10/2023 09:11

OhYouBadBadKitten · 16/10/2023 22:04

What happens for funeral costs if next of kin have been disinherited?

If there's no one willing, the council will arrange a basic (paupers) funeral.

lovemybed · 17/10/2023 09:12

Me and I'm not remotely bothered!
My parents chose vocational careers that involved helping people in very disadvantage/deprived areas and we always lived in accommodation tied to the job and then later a HA property. I had a truly lovely childhood, got to travel the world, understand different ways of life and as a result I've chosen something similar for my own career path (although I do own a house).

Obviously it's possible to have both but that's not the life we had so when my dad passes away (my mum already has), there won't be a financial inheritance beyond a small insurance policy and whatever is in the house. We've had a full life and that in itself feels like the richest inheritance of all.

Densol57 · 17/10/2023 09:16

Not me or my partner. We own houses and so do my brothers and children. I bought my first at 18. It was a natural thing. No council houses etc.

However almost all of my friends bat 2 neither own houses etc, and have basic jobs with presumably small pensions. They live pay packet to pack packet. They will not be receiving an inheritance.

Zebedee55 · 17/10/2023 09:17

givemeasunnyday · 17/10/2023 02:58

Surely there comes a time when savings get down to a certain level when care home charges cease? I'm not in the UK, but I had an idea there was a sum people were allowed to keep, although I know it isn't nearly as generous as it is here.

Show quote history

Yes, once any assets/savings are down to approx £23, 000, then the council take over the costs, along with any pensions the elderly person may have.

SedentaryCat · 17/10/2023 09:17

I've been disinherited so I'm not due anything.

Sounds more dramatic than it actually is. Back story is boring, but my parents split up when I was 2, both remarried. My biological father and I fell out 12 months ago and he died in July this year - he'd changed his will. He spent the last 50-odd years telling me 'all this will be yours', but it's no surprise that it isn't. I believe he left it all to his cleaner(!)

My mum and step-dad haven't got a lot so I'm not expecting anything.

countrygirl99 · 17/10/2023 09:19

Zebedee55 · 17/10/2023 09:17

Yes, once any assets/savings are down to approx £23, 000, then the council take over the costs, along with any pensions the elderly person may have.

Show quote history

Not quite. Between roughly £23k and £14k you still have to part pay based on income and a contribution from savings. Below £14k there will still be a part payment based on income including state pension.

Meeting · 17/10/2023 09:22

I'm from a culture where everything is given to the sons. I'm fine with this.

crackofdoom · 17/10/2023 09:25

Me, probably. My parents own their own home in the SE, but we are NC- I've always been the scapegoat of the family. It will all either go on care home fees, an overpriced retirement flat, or my brother- who already owns his own large home and is pretty comfortably off- will get it.

But it's probably for the best. I live in a HA home which I love, and I have seen a couple of friends in similar circumstances inherit amounts of about 75- 100k, which isn't enough to buy a house, but will ensure they're not entitled to any benefits until it's all gone (they're in their 60s, so no chance of a mortgage).Those sums just end up being a source of worry, sadly.

whenindoubtgotothelibrary · 17/10/2023 11:40

No big inheritances here on either side. Small house on DH's side, which sadly for his DM will probably go for care fees, and various highly dysfunctional family and property arrangements on my side, which mean I just don't want to get involved. My siblings are more than welcome to it as long as they sort it all out.

I want to downsize our own house so that we can help the dc while we're still alive!

Teegan89 · 17/10/2023 15:36

I’ll get fuck all but I’m in the minority among my peers. Glad to read it’s not just me!

phoenixrosehere · 17/10/2023 15:58

DH talks of getting an inheritance from his parents, and I have no idea or have ever really thought if my parents had one for me. I was concerned more about possibly ending up with any of their debts or paying for funerals than receiving anything after seeing how exhausting and costly funerals are. From the way my dad speaks, he’ll be leaving things (no idea what) to my sons, the boys he always wanted and I guessed my mother would leave things to my sister, her best friend and golden child.

As long as I don’t have to pay any of their debts and they covered their own funerals, I’m content.

Poppysmom22 · 17/10/2023 16:03

Nope none here

PeachBlossom1234 · 17/10/2023 17:23

I work in charity fundraising, specifically in gifts in wills and the amount of people who are amazed when they don’t inherit from family and they’ve given it to charity is astounding! In Scotland you can’t disinherit children so many of them get around it that way but believe me most wouldn’t be getting anything if this wasn’t the case.

Also my mum died and we were estranged so she left it all to my sister who then helped me when my marriage ended and I needed to buy my ex out. And I know that my dad has written his will to favour my sister who lives with him and cares for him, and I am absolutely ok with that - she does far more than me and will need help to get on her feet after he’s gone. I have a property and a well paid job and I don’t need his money, whereas she has sacrificed a lot and does need it. She has also written a will leaving everything to my daughter which I thought was lovely of her, but unnecessary (she could have left it to charity).

I find it staggering that people think they automatically have a right over someone else’s money just because they’re related!

MrsCarson · 17/10/2023 17:25

Me. My parent has a pre paid funeral in place and the apartment will go to my sister (decided between my mother and me due to D sis's life circumstances) She doesn't really have anything else.

tabulaisrasa · 17/10/2023 17:26

Nope, nothing coming from my parents for me or my sibling. They own a modest house, have small pensions, and I predict their house value may well have to cover care fees in the future.

BettyOBarley · 17/10/2023 17:29

Me!

Both sets of parents lived in rented accommodation due to relationship break ups, bad financial planning etc.

scotvic · 17/10/2023 17:48

You are definitely not alone! And even people whose parents do own a house may see care home fees gobble up whatever capital can be raised from it. Have to say, judging by the grief that inheritances (or lack of) seem to cause in so many families, according to the endless MN posts about it, maybe not expecting anything is a more peaceful state of mind.…

celticprincess · 17/10/2023 17:58

I think the reason my parents have something to pass down is because they didn’t have any inheritance. My parents even owned my grandmother’s small flat at one point when property up here was dirt cheap in that area. So my dad in particular has lived like a pauper on his own house to make sure there was money in the bank as well as the hose to sell. My mother has a decent property to sell but as others have said it could go on care fees - she’s adamant she won’t go into care but who knows?? She has less savings as she keeps her house well kept and likes to spend on the kids etc.

Listofjobs · 17/10/2023 18:10

A lot of people may end up bitterly disappointed when their relatives have to go into a care home and the inheritance pays the fees!

DisquietintheRanks · 17/10/2023 18:14

Zebedee55 · 17/10/2023 09:17

Yes, once any assets/savings are down to approx £23, 000, then the council take over the costs, along with any pensions the elderly person may have.

Show quote history

....but at this point they may also move the person to a cheaper facility if the one they are in doesn't accept people on council care rates (which are about 50% of what self-funders pay).

Makingplansfor2029 · 17/10/2023 18:21

I will defintely receive from my dad but nothing from my mum, she hasn’t got a penny.

Mumsgirls · 17/10/2023 18:26

I will probably get one but will be over 70, so will pass to next generation.
would have welcomed a bit of help when own kids were small, but too late now and all provided for. Next generation need it more for housing. I don’t and have a good private pension
Everyone I know has company pension and mortgage paid off. North of England, so can live in a good area without ridiculous house prices.

Lunaloud · 17/10/2023 18:37

I’m just grateful their debt isn’t inherited. When my DF was diagnosed with a TI my mother ran up a shit load of debt in his name which was wiped when he died.

I won’t be surprised if one of my siblings has been trying to work away round getting their hands on the housing association house as it’s a good one in a great location. My mother would happily lie to get him on the tenancy.

I certainly won’t be paying any funeral costs either.

Nowherenew · 17/10/2023 18:38

Meeting · 17/10/2023 09:22

I'm from a culture where everything is given to the sons. I'm fine with this.

Wow that’s pretty shocking!