Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD - Intervene or keep walking?

268 replies

StepInOrLookAway · 16/10/2023 15:27

Group of 9 kids, boys and girls, around 11 years old. One boy on the ground with 4 boys standing over him, at least one pushing down on him.

If you witnessed this would you intervene? If not, why not? Out of fear for your own safety? Would you alert anyone else? No judgement, just interested.

OP posts:
WildlingsCorner · 16/10/2023 16:16

I did intervene a while ago. There was a group of teenagers and one of them had another in a headlock. I asked them what's going on. They said they are just playing or something like that but then thankfully let the boy in the headlock go and dispersed. I had my baby with me so if they hadn't let the boy go or attacked us I'm not sure what I'd have done. It was in a busy area though so I'm guessing (hoping) if the situation had escaped someone would have helped us. If my kids are ever in a situation like that i hope that some adult would intervene and try to help them.

fedupandstuck · 16/10/2023 16:17

I would intervene, but I am an ex teacher and well practiced at intervening. I would also rope in any other nearby adults with requests to call the police if I though that was necessary.

141mum · 16/10/2023 16:23

Deff step in and help, my dd had this done to her and people walked past

lechatnoir · 16/10/2023 16:28

A firm "Boys, what's going on here?" is probably enough to send them on their way but I wouldn't hesitate to intervene. Poor kid.

If I lived in an area know for knife crime or they looked much older I might think twice and just film whilst calling the police but I certainly wouldn't just walk away.

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 16/10/2023 16:29

It's tricky. Around here, there are a significant number of children that age who are carrying knives. And there older siblings are well known for 'taking' what they want off other children at knifepoint. Sad reality.

It would depend on whether or not there were other people around, tbh. If I couldn't intervene, I'd film/call the police.

Thedogscollar · 16/10/2023 16:29

I did intervene it was a group of lads 12/13 bullying and jostling another boy. It was just outside a big supermarket so I had backup if required. It's just in my nature as I intensely dislike bullying.

Formerteenmum · 16/10/2023 16:30

Yes I have done a few times. The only time I didn't directly intervene I stood a few metres away and called the police instead as it was a pretty serious attack.

iLoveFood94 · 16/10/2023 16:31

I would definitely intervene. By not intervening if feel like I was letting a child be bullied and it'd be on my mind until I knew if the child was okay

HikingforScenery · 16/10/2023 16:31

i’d take a quick video & photos (only to give to the police) and call 999.
I might scream from afar and ask them to stop

ChishiyaBat · 16/10/2023 16:33

Like many other people have said, I have in the past and would still intervene every time!

FiddleSticksGohHog · 16/10/2023 16:33

I would 100% intervene and I hope someone would do the same for my child. ¹

AGovernmentOfLawsAndNotMen · 16/10/2023 16:33

Yes I’d intervene.
A knee jerk reaction I couldn’t leave some poor kid on the ground with a bunch of bullies.
Id think twice if they were older teenagers, but then I’d probably scream and shout for help.

Id also get my phone out to get as many of their faces as possible.

NailsHairNipsHeels · 16/10/2023 16:35

I'd intervene and have done even when it was grown men fighting. I tend to act first and worry about the consequences later once things have calmed down.
At 11yrs I'd hope I could deal with the situation and help the kid on the floor

StepInOrLookAway · 16/10/2023 16:36

Thank you all for your responses.

For those who asked, no, thankfully my child wasn't involved.

With regards to what I did, I intervened. However, the couple 2 paces ahead of me didn't, they walked straight past (same side of the road) and didn't even look down.

Like I said, I'm not judging. There are numerous reasons why people wouldn't and it all comes down to a very valid fear for their personal safety, not that they don't care. As some have said, I think where you live has a bearing on how people respond. It's a horrible situation for everyone involved.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 16/10/2023 16:36

I wouldn't keep walking but it would depend on the area as to whether I would intervene. There would be a high risk of getting stabbed in certain local areas.

MidnightOnceMore · 16/10/2023 16:36

FiddleSticksGohHog · 16/10/2023 16:33

I would 100% intervene and I hope someone would do the same for my child. ¹

I'm wondering what your footnote says!!

dontforgetme · 16/10/2023 16:40

Yes I would. I actually did over the 6 weeks holidays, group of 5 11/12 year old boys pushing around a girl of the same age. I asked if she was ok and told the boys to back off. They got on their bikes and scarpered and the girl roller bladed home. My dd9 was really upset I had gone over but I couldn't watch and not do anything. And I'd hope if my dd is ever in that situation in the future someone would do the same for her. Fingers and toes crossed she never is though.

Mandoidi · 16/10/2023 16:40

Me too @MidnightOnceMore 😆

Tulipvase · 16/10/2023 16:42

Absolutely I would. Certainly at those ages. I would be more hesitant if they older, tbh, most 11 year old are as tall as me any way! But I think I would try and do something regardless.

I do work with children though, albeit primary.

TrumpetOfTheMatriarchy · 16/10/2023 16:43

Intervene. I'm a bit hot headed and tend to act first and think later. Situations where someone is being bullied like that gives me the rage. I probably would have roared at them to get off him and then waded in and forcefully removed them. Afterwards, would have been very shaky and worried about what might have happened. I intervened a year or so ago when a group of older youths were harassing the owners of a local chinese, I was so bloody cross.

FancyFanny · 16/10/2023 16:44

I would definitely intervene. 11 year olds are unlikely to be aggressive to an adult in that situation. I wouldn't call the police as a waste of time if the child was uninjured. Bullying happens- it's up to adults to educate them and show it is absolutely not tolerated.

FOJN · 16/10/2023 16:45

Whataretheodds · 16/10/2023 15:37

I'd call out "is everything OK, do you need me to call an ambulance?"
If you're worried about your safety do it from over the road/distance.

Most likely they would disperse, I'd have thought. Then you can check on the boy on the ground.

Absolutely, feign innocence and pretend you think they are helping a friend with a medical emergency. Tell them you've called an ambulance and they're sending the police too because it's a child.

TheOctomyTober · 16/10/2023 16:45

I don't know. It depends on the situation.

If I was with my 2 year old, I would call the police. I wouldn't put him in danger.

If I was where my brother lives in London, I'd call the police.

If I were on my own, where I live, yes I would.

Vistada · 16/10/2023 16:46

I would intervene.

Whether thats right or not I don't know unfortuately I tend to act first think later in these situations.

TheCompactPussycat · 16/10/2023 16:50

Yes, I would although I would instinctively risk assess the situation first and act accordingly. A firm "Excuse me, what's going on here?" might be all that's needed for them to scarper.