Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Bridesmaid dress

82 replies

Whatwouldyoudo2021 · 15/10/2023 19:24

Hi all,

I need some advice on how to handle a situation,
I am bridesmaid for a friend at the end of November and I’ve tried my dress on again today and it looks awful.
I’ve got a 12 month old baby and my body isn’t the same as what it used to be, the dress is black, full
length and high neck lined. I look truly awful in it, the bridesmaid are all wearing the same dress so it’s not like I can wear something else.
it almost looks like a Halloween fancy dress outfit,

would I be unreasonable to say to friend I can’t wear the dress, I’ll get another dress or I will relinquish my bridesmaid duties?

please help as I’m suffering so much anxiety about the whole situation.

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Mumofteenandtween · 15/10/2023 19:27

What is wrong with the dress? Is it too tight in places? Too loose in others?Is it worth a conversation with a dressmaker to see if she can make any adjustments? I’m not an expert but a well fitting dress generally looks a million times better than one that doesn’t fit.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 15/10/2023 19:28

Can you order same dress in a size up?

UndercoverCop · 15/10/2023 19:28

I'm wearing a dress to my best friend's wedding that I don't like (MOH), it's not my wedding and people are not there to look at me. I do agree with PP , a good seamstress can make the world of difference

Original poster

Whatwouldyoudo2021 · 15/10/2023 19:28

Thank you, it fits like a glove, but I think it’s more the colour, cut and style of dress.
it’s the colour and material aswell as the neckline,
My sister said I looked like morticia from the Addams family

OP posts:

Glorifried · 15/10/2023 19:28

Get some good shapeware, you'll feel so different in it.

Coffeerum · 15/10/2023 19:29

What is actually wrong with the fit? Saying it sounds like a Halloween fancy dress outfit makes it sound like you just have an issue with your friend’s style rather than having had a baby a year ago and it not fitting.

Smartiepants79 · 15/10/2023 19:29

If this person cares enough about you to want you to be in their bridal party then they should deybe open to sensible suggestions that are going to fix this issue. The only concern would be cost for me. Are you paying for a new one? Could you sell the other? It’s also not long til the wedding - had you looked to see what else is available?

ohsobroody · 15/10/2023 19:30

Can you post a pic without your head? It won't be as bad as you think. But if they're all wearing the same black dress you're all going to look a bit morticia adams lol

Massivescreen · 15/10/2023 19:30

hmmm had a similar situation years ago. In the end I spoke to my (really good) friend about it and she wasn’t overly sympathetic. In her defence she’d bought the dress, this was the last thing on her mind for her big day etc. Eventually I went and found a dressmaker who adapted it so it looked ok on the day. Is that an option ? I empathise though as the whole thing was very stressful.

Coffeerum · 15/10/2023 19:30

Thank you, it fits like a glove, but I think it’s more the colour, cut and style of dress.

Then yes YABU. It’s one day, it’s your friend’s wedding who cares if the dress isn’t to your personal taste. It’s a pretty shitty to tell her a month before her wedding that you aren’t wearing the bridesmaid dress because you don’t like it.

Lollypop701 · 15/10/2023 19:30

Second shape wear is your friend

Original poster

Whatwouldyoudo2021 · 15/10/2023 19:31

I think it’s more the fact it’s black, nigh necked with sleeves and full length,
it’s just a lot for my colouring and I normally always wear black, it just looks overwhelming when worn.
the dress its self like I say fits like a glove,
nothing wrong with the fit

OP posts:

Homesweethome23 · 15/10/2023 19:33

If the dress fits but is just not your style then sorry but I think YABU. The bride obviously likes the style and it’s her day.

FuzzyPuffling · 15/10/2023 19:33

If there's nothing wrong with the fit, then I think it is far too late to say anything to your friend. It's one day and everyone will be looking at the bride.

CatamaranViper · 15/10/2023 19:34

Oh that's tricky!

What does everyone else look like? Does it look good on everyone else?

If it genuinely looks bad, the bride must know. Has her DM or anyone else seen the dress on?

If it was a really good friend, I'd probably just suck it up and wear it with a huge smile on my face. I might make suggestions ie lower neckline, pulled in here etc.

If it was someone I wasn't as close to, I'd probably step down as bridesmaid..

KookyAndSpooky · 15/10/2023 19:34

I would suck it up. It's one day. Be a good friend.

happylittlesloth · 15/10/2023 19:35

Has the bride seen you in it since it was purchased? Maybe ask her if she can take a look as you're concerned.

EvilElsa · 15/10/2023 19:35

I'd wear it for a friend if it's just a taste issue. It's obviously her taste and it's her wedding. Once you've had your hair and make up done I'm sure it will look different anyway.

HarperMae · 15/10/2023 19:36

Did you not voice your opinion before they were purchased?

PrincessNoteSpelling · 15/10/2023 19:36

Is it like either of these? To be fair even the morticia one could pass!

CatamaranViper · 15/10/2023 19:36

Oh god I missed the bit about the wedding being a month away!

Yeah you've left it way too late. How long have you known this was the dress?

SacAMain · 15/10/2023 19:37

Whatwouldyoudo2021 · 15/10/2023 19:31

you are becoming more and more bu

it fits perfectly
you "always wear black"

Get a bit of make-up and you'll be fine. It seems it has nothing to do with having a baby, and the time to put suggestions for the dress is long gone.

Honestly, no one cares what you are wearing. Only your friends and her mum will look at the photos in the future, does it matter if it wasn't your favourite dress?

Gwendimarco · 15/10/2023 19:38

Well, if it fits and it’s the colour and style you don’t like, then it doesn’t really sound like it’s anything to do with having recently had a baby.
I think you’d better just suck it up. I hates the bridesmaid dress I wore to my friend’s wedding, but I put up with it because I’m her friend, it’s not about me, and nobody but her and her husband will ever look at the photos again anyway.

Sunshineclouds11 · 15/10/2023 19:38

I've wore a bridesmaid dress I didn't like before, it's one day, after afew glasses I forgot I didn't like it 😂

Original poster

Whatwouldyoudo2021 · 15/10/2023 19:39

Thank you everyone
I wasn’t asked for a an opinion before purchase and I think there are only 2 bridesmaids

I am more than happy to wear the dress, she’s my friend and I really don’t mind wearing it, I just look ridiculous. I’ve got a large chest and it’s all just overwhelming on me.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4