Worried about nursery meal times

[Tizziey]

DD has just turned 2, I have been lucky to take 2 years out with her but the role at my previous company has just become available again and I've been asked back under fantastic conditions so hard to refuse.
This will mean DD goes to nursery 2 full days and 2 half days every week. On the half days I will get her around 12 and on the full days she will be picked up between 5 and 6, probably closer to 6.

Right now we try to eat as a family as much as possible, even if DD is having a different variation (maybe less spicy or something). Most days DD doesn't eat until 6.15/6.30 this works well.
A normal home day food wise looks like
7ish Breakfast
10ish Morning Snack
12.30 Lunch
3/3.30 Afternoon Snack
6,15/6.30 Dinner
After dinner it is always straight up for bath and bed, asleep for 7.30/7.45

We have looked at 2 nurseries so far. They all seem to do lunch at 11.30 and "Tea" at 3.30/4, plus 2 snacks. Considering DD won't be there every day I'm really worried these times will mess with her routine. Why are they so early? Is this standard and something we will have to suck up? Really I don't want DD having tea at nursery as I'd rather she had proper dinner at home with us and I also don't really want her having lunch before I pick her up on half-days.
We will continue to look at other nurseries but I'm worried this will just be the norm?
Were your children's nurseries like this? Are we likely to find one which has more conventional mealtimes (London so plenty to look at)?
AIBU to be worried about the routine being messed up?

Why not visit a few childminders - many will be happy to stick to your routine. I give my minded children lunch at midday - when I had a little one being collected at 12.30 we either pushed back lunch a bit or I read him stories while the others ate.

The one we used had the same timings. Lunch was early because the morning only children could have a meal before they left. Tea was timed for parents doing pick up after the school run. It really wasn't a problem or messed up a routine because they got used to the routine at nursery and seemed to understand the difference.

On our nursery days as DS has had ‘tea’ already we just give him a ‘supper’ before bed like toast and a yoghurt or something like that.

I think you need a degree of flexibility with nursery meal times as they are feeding 30 children.

My DDs lunch at nursery was at 12.30pm and they had a tea at 4.150pm.

You can always tell them not to give her lunch on the half days and a small snack but honestly, think of her looking at her peers eating lunch and her not being able to.

You may have to loosen the rigidity around meal times on the days she is in nursery, the chances are she will be absolutely fine.

If you don't want to do that then I guess continue looking for a nursery that is closer to what you require in terms of meal times.

She will still be hungry enough for tea with you at home to be honest. Nursery teas are not known for being very filling.

You'd be surprised at how she adapts to the two routines.

Yeah I think this is pretty standard timings for nursery. I wouldn't worry, DD's nursery has this and she still has a 'light' dinner with us the nights she's been at nursery (2 days per week).

We still do our own routine the rest of the time - the variation for the two days isn't really a big deal.

Same here - DT’s were full time at nursery, five days a week. We got home from nursery between 6 - 6.30 and gave them supper then.

4.15pm*

Totally standard timings.

We used to eat at different times depending on whether it was a nursery day or not, wasn't an issue. But you are highly unlikely to find a nursery with different food timings.

In my experience working in day nurseries, lunch will be a hot meal but tea will be something very light, cheese and crackers, mini sandwiches, etc. They do it so the children aren't ravenous while at nursery, but can still go home and have a meal with family.

Our nursery has roughly the same timings and so does our primary school, at least in reception. They actually have lunch even earlier there than nursery which is ridiculous but it's a huge school so they have to stagger the meal times.

I wouldn't worry too much about routines, she will just be in a different routine the days she goes there, it's not the end of the world. For the most part I'd still make dinner and offer it for us as a family around 6.15pm, sometimes they'd eat nothing, sometimes they'd eat a little, rarely they'd eat a full meal if perhaps they hadn't eaten much tea at nursery that day. Not a big deal. The half days I just offer an extra snack or two if necessary to get them along to dinner time, we typically eat around 6pm those days. Never had any particular problems with any of this.

We don’t have many proper day nurseries around us (SW London) but those that we do have were all like this with the strange early tea! If it bothers you that much then you could look at a preschool/school nursery (we have loads around us that take over 2s) that has wrap around care as they’ll do lunch at lunchtime and no tea but then you may find they’re not open for a lot of the school holidays so that’s another issue to manage. Personally I’d choose the best setting and would just deal with the weird meal times- you guys eating once she’s in bed twice a week isn’t a big deal, and her having lunch at nursery would surely make things easier and you could give a bigger afternoon snack to get her through to the family dinner time.

I still offered a full meal after nursery as they often don't eat the tea or burn it off. I just batch cook a few meals and freeze smaller portions.

We had this - I did find it was okay.. he would have a later dinner with us on days not at nursery, when there I would do our dinner as normal with a mini portion, he'd still have some together as family with us but less. Childminders will be more likely to follow your routine if that's important but it can be quite good for them to be flexible in terms of a hot meal at lunch some days, cold other etc

We just gave a smaller portion of dinner but DD still ate with us as normal, it was fine,

I think this is standard. Your daughter will adjust and it will be ok. None of us can keep exactly the same routine all our lives, we have to adjust to our current situations.

They have early lunch to accommodate an afternoon nap. Tea rather than dinner as children may be picked up shortly after 5 if parents work nearby, they would want to avoid pick ups during the mealtime.

Just give her supper before bed, she will adjust to slightly different routines in different places.

We had the same and tbh it was great for us because it meant on the days he had tea at nursery, I just gave him a light dinner - eggs on toast or porridge and then we ate later. Kids are flexible and she'll cope! Just wait till she's 4 and refusing all meals whatever the time lol.

She will still be hungry enough to eat tea with her parents.
If that's the only issue you are predicting then I think your being a bit precious 🤷‍♀️

Honestly you go on about “her routine” but really it’s your routine and it’s just something you are going to have to relax on.
She can still sit with you at dinner time even if she’s not that hungry.
These are standard nursery timings, you’re not going to find one that doesn’t offer a tea at about 4:30 ish.
You can ask them not to give it to her but that just seems cruel.

I’ve worked at quite a few nurseries and this is standard. I would look at a childminder or nanny if you’re put off by this and it will be very hard for nurseries to accommodate your needs.

Agree with everyone that those are standard timings but that also tea is generally very light, more of an afternoon snack. DS always had a proper tea when he came home.

That's pretty standard. My daughter has been in nursery since 9 months old now 3yo and easily flips between the times for nursery and home days.
It does help that she gets up an hour later when at home as I have to wake her up for nursery. So it's comparable to her.

She currently had a large snack at 3.30 on nursery day and then it's 50:50 whether she has a little bit of food with us at 6-6.30. She doesn't eat a lot of food though in general due to reflux and food allergies

Standard in my experience, they got to get all the kids fed, cleaned up and the ones that nap down for a nap in a relatively short time. DD1 still has lunch at 11.45 in school as that's the time the infants go for lunch. My two just have a quick picky tea or something really simple when I pick them up on their after school club/nursery days as they're shattered and want to eat and get to bed.

Oh and lunch is normally that early to accommodate nap time/quiet time. Our old nursery liked lunch to be finished by 12.15 so the children could be ready to lie down at 12.30 and afternoon activities/trips started at 2 or 2.30. If lunch was later, you'd end up with children napping beyond 3/3.30 which most parents wouldn't want.