Worried about nursery meal times

[Tizziey]

DD has just turned 2, I have been lucky to take 2 years out with her but the role at my previous company has just become available again and I've been asked back under fantastic conditions so hard to refuse.
This will mean DD goes to nursery 2 full days and 2 half days every week. On the half days I will get her around 12 and on the full days she will be picked up between 5 and 6, probably closer to 6.

Right now we try to eat as a family as much as possible, even if DD is having a different variation (maybe less spicy or something). Most days DD doesn't eat until 6.15/6.30 this works well.
A normal home day food wise looks like
7ish Breakfast
10ish Morning Snack
12.30 Lunch
3/3.30 Afternoon Snack
6,15/6.30 Dinner
After dinner it is always straight up for bath and bed, asleep for 7.30/7.45

We have looked at 2 nurseries so far. They all seem to do lunch at 11.30 and "Tea" at 3.30/4, plus 2 snacks. Considering DD won't be there every day I'm really worried these times will mess with her routine. Why are they so early? Is this standard and something we will have to suck up? Really I don't want DD having tea at nursery as I'd rather she had proper dinner at home with us and I also don't really want her having lunch before I pick her up on half-days.
We will continue to look at other nurseries but I'm worried this will just be the norm?
Were your children's nurseries like this? Are we likely to find one which has more conventional mealtimes (London so plenty to look at)?
AIBU to be worried about the routine being messed up?

My nursery does
breakfast from 8am-9.15am
lunch between 11.45am and 1.30pm (rolling lunch, children wait until 1 .15pm if they wish.
snack from 2.30pm-3.30pm
piece of fruit at 5pm.

no dinner/tea children go home for that.

Our nursery was the same, but "tea" wasn't a big meal. There were quite a few snacks planned throughout the day. Dcs coped fine with it all and are mainly good eaters now.

I’m pretty sure most nurseries will be similar. It’s timed so the kids have lunch then their nap. What time does your DC nap if lunch isn’t till 1230?

I don’t think you can make her not have lunch while the other kids are having theirs.

DS is two and a half and will often eat dinner with us as well as his nursery tea.

Lots will change once she starts nursery - eating - seeing other children eat can help them try new foods,nap times - nurseries are amazing at getting lots of little children to sleep at the same time. They do activities you’d never do at home and they copy other children - this can be great for improving their vocabulary!

While I totally understand that cooking and eating together is important to you, it definitely becomes more difficult to facilitate at certain ages and you just have to go with it. Everything changes and you go through different phases.

She only naps for an hour these days usually between 1 and 2, which seems to line up with nursery nap (12.30-2) in the toddler room at the one we preferred. Then most afternoons we have an activity from 2-3.30 like swimming, dancing, activity at the library etc. followed up by a snack.

DT’s were in nursery five days a week but we still ate together each evening.

Lunch at 11:30/12 and tea at 3:30/4PM is standard in a lot of nurseries is because:

There are lots of children to feed. In pre- school ages 3-5 years many nurseries encourage the children to serve their own food under close supervision and scrape their own plates after - this takes a lot of time , practice and patience. The clean up from a meal time can take ages too.

younger Children (toddlers and some pre-schoolers) nap after lunch. This may involve a nappy change, a quiet activity and trousers off before settling for sleep on their sleep mat with their blanket. In most nurseries the majority of younger children sleep somewhere between 12:15-2pm some may sleep a little earlier or later than this. Again, it takes time to settle the sleepers. Many nurseries like their afternoon activities either child or adult led to start again at 2pm

staff lunch breaks and ratios - in nurseries most staff lunch breaks run from 11:00-3:00 to ensure the correct ratios at all times staff from each age group cannot go on their lunch break until another member of staff usually lunch cover can cover their break. A level 3 member of staff or higher must be within each age group at all times.

Afternoon tea is usually a light tea food such as

jacket potatoes beans and cheese and a fruit yoghurt.

cheese and tomato muffins with crudites and flap jacks

tomato soup and whole meal bread with stewed apple

Tuna and cucumber sandwiches and fruit loaf with pear sauce

They seem pretty standard times for meal times for nursery, you’re unlikely to find somewhere that fits in with her usual routine. Maybe try a childminder they may be more flexible or a nanny.

We usually eat dinner at 6-6:30 so on nursery days we just give my son a small portion of what we’re having for dinner as he’s usually had something around 4pm at nursery. Our nursery usually do a cooked meal for lunch and something a bit more snacky (cheese on toast, toasted tea cakes, sandwiches) for tea.

We used to do 2nd tea all together after Nursery. Tea at Nursery was just a sandwich or crumpet and veg sticks, so she was ready to eat again by 7pm.

'Tea' at nursery is not really like the dinner you would serve at home its more to tie them over.

Honestly OP IME childminders will be the same depending on how many kids they're looking after.

You either need to scrap the idea of these family meals on nursery days (or do a picky/tapas sort of tea) or choose a nanny where you can more or less dictate what you want.

You're overthinking it and being a bit precious. Sorry.

I agree with others that these are standard times. I would view the early lunch as a pro on the day you pick up at 12, means you get more quality time together.

Mine never needed food again after nursery tea but tea at their nursery was way more than a crumpet.

"Tea" at nursery is more like a snack. A finger of a sandwich and some fruit or yogurt. She will still eat when she gets home.

However, please do not get hung up on her eating with you in a family style meal on nursery days. She will have had 5 chances to eat socially with her peers so she's learning those skills. She may be too tired and just need a crumpet and bed when she gets back and that's fine.

Agree.

Standard timings. DD was never very hungry after nursery tea – the big lunch/small tea suited her and even now after school she comes home from wraparound care, where she gets a similarly timed snacky tea, and only has some yoghurt or toast before bed. We eat together as a family at breakfast and at weekends but tbh as they get older, pickier, more full of “why? Why? Why?”, bolshier, etc, it’s a blessed relief to put them to bed and eat as adults without them.

Just let her sit with ypu while eating dinner and give her a supper small portion or just yogurt.

You will still get your "family dinner time" 5 days a week though won't you, even if she doesn't eat anything with you on the 2 full days (which she will - if "tea" is that early it's more of a snack to tide them over until they have dinner at home.

Just give her a small portion of whatever you're eating.

Don't overthink it. She'll be hungry after nursery.

Our schedule is exactly the same and our son always has tea (very light meal) and then proper food at home about 6. Never made a difference to our food routine.

I don’t know where in London you are (we are S/W) but my DD is also 2 and her nursery mealtimes might suit better.
they serve breakfast from 7.30-8.30 (if arriving after its expected they will have had breakfast).
A morning snack at 10
Lunch (hot, cooked in the nursery with fresh and local produce) at 12
Afternoon snack at 3 (usually crackers, cheese, biscuits, yoghurt etc.)
Fruit offered at 5 (sat on the table for the kids to have if they like or on the way home etc.)
Wasn’t a factor when we were looking at nurseries but sounds like it might suit you better.
So definitely keep looking as some with a different schedule do exist.

I think you should start setting up new routines. She won’t be able to keep to them forever so I’d not get worried about changing them. She’ll quickly adjust to the new routines.

Seems normal. We offer DS a snack at home at his usual dinner time if he’s been at nursery. And a snack at “tea” time if he’s at home. Doesn’t always have them and never been an issue.

ETA we used to offer a meal at home after tea at nursery but we realised quickly he wasn’t hungry enough for it.

Stop being precious OP, you need to be more flexible tbh, they have a lot of children to look after, not just yours. I think you are not even giving her time to digest her food before you are sticking her straight in the bath. Just chill.