Worried about nursery meal times

[Tizziey]

DD has just turned 2, I have been lucky to take 2 years out with her but the role at my previous company has just become available again and I've been asked back under fantastic conditions so hard to refuse.
This will mean DD goes to nursery 2 full days and 2 half days every week. On the half days I will get her around 12 and on the full days she will be picked up between 5 and 6, probably closer to 6.

Right now we try to eat as a family as much as possible, even if DD is having a different variation (maybe less spicy or something). Most days DD doesn't eat until 6.15/6.30 this works well.
A normal home day food wise looks like
7ish Breakfast
10ish Morning Snack
12.30 Lunch
3/3.30 Afternoon Snack
6,15/6.30 Dinner
After dinner it is always straight up for bath and bed, asleep for 7.30/7.45

We have looked at 2 nurseries so far. They all seem to do lunch at 11.30 and "Tea" at 3.30/4, plus 2 snacks. Considering DD won't be there every day I'm really worried these times will mess with her routine. Why are they so early? Is this standard and something we will have to suck up? Really I don't want DD having tea at nursery as I'd rather she had proper dinner at home with us and I also don't really want her having lunch before I pick her up on half-days.
We will continue to look at other nurseries but I'm worried this will just be the norm?
Were your children's nurseries like this? Are we likely to find one which has more conventional mealtimes (London so plenty to look at)?
AIBU to be worried about the routine being messed up?

Eh those times are early we have similar lunch tea times with our toddlers to you and funny enough same bedtime etc. They start nursery January and luckily nursery 12.30 lunch also

Normal.

Mine still had tea when they got home as they were still hungry. Just feed her like you normally would. Tbh I think you’re massively over thinking this.

Tbh going to nursery is going to mess up her routine period. I wouldn't worry about meal times at all. Her sleep will probably go out the window for a bit until she settles as well.

I found the "light tea" thing infuriating, that meant at 1830 my DC needed a whole dinner rather than snack and bed

Standard timings in my experience.

You are just going to have to be more flexible in general when using childcare but your DC will also be more flexible than you think.

My DC are in nursery 4 days a week and the other 3 days meals vary in size and time but it doesn't bother them.

Some days after nursery they could eat a whole meal as they didn't fancy lunch or tea or both. Other days they've eaten nursery out of house and home so they just relax before bed and maybe a little bit of cereal. All meals and snacks at ours are served 'family style' so social interaction, helping themselves etc which is great.

If you want someone to follow the perfect routine for your child, that’s a nanny. If you choose nursery, then you adapt to their routine, much like school when you get to that stage. I really wouldn’t make this a barrier to choosing a good childcare place.

It will be fine! dd has a snack tea with them and then a smaller portion with us at 6:30

They are pretty usual times for nursery’s, ‘tea’ won’t be a full on meal things like a crumpet or a slice of cheese on toast! I really think you need to be flexible if you are using a nursery.

I also wouldn't worry about her not trying new foods. If anything my kids ate far more things at nursery than they did at home. Something about sitting with their peers makes them eat so much more!
Both mine have a hot lunch at 12 and tea at . Collected at 6 and because the journey home is 30 minutes are usually asleep and put straight in bed. A full day at nursery will knacker her out!

I wouldn’t assume a childminder would be any more flexible tbh - most childminders also do the school run, and have after-school children, so timings are dictated by that so they’d also do an early lunch, in order to get nap time in.

To me it’s not a snack. A snack for a toddler is a single piece of fruit or a rice cracker. ‘Tea’ at our nursery is like dinner and lunch reversed. Lunch it a hot meal like curry, pasta, chicken and rice etc and then tea is sandwiches fruit and humous or cheese/ beans on toast etc.

The time I’ve given DD more of a dinner is if I’ve picked her up early and she misses the tea otherwise she’s only ever had appetite for something like a banana and a small bowl of cereal, or a little plate of cheese, raisins and a bit of cucumber.

She doesn’t wake up in the night at all never mind from hunger.

Does your DC still nap?

Nurseries do meals at this time because lots of children are too tired to eat well later. There can be a bit of a golden window when they still nap after lunch where they last til a later bedtime but when the nap goes, its really common to find they are shattered by half 5 and can't make it past a 7pm bedtime.

To me it’s not a snack. A snack for a toddler is a single piece of fruit or a rice cracker
This.... crumpets are not a snack. When they are treated as one this is why so many kids are fat.

My DS only started nursery at 2 as well - just 2 full days. Same meal and snacktimes as you mention (this allows children to have a sleep after lunch; and enables them to fit in lots of food sessions during 7am - 6pm).

I would suggest that you could shift meal/snacktimes for your DD so they match nursery, which is what we did - I have a cup of tea or a sandwich with DS whilst he eats his 11:30 lunch, and we have dinner altogether at 6pm straight after pickup / on days when I have him - he always wants dinner after nursery.

Alternatively my SIL's DD does 4 half days at nursery and just fits in with the times there; and has to go with timings at home - they're really flexible as she has 3 older siblings. Still a good eater and does not seem fussed, or hungry!

Firstly (sorry) you’re bring a bit precious. Secondly, completely standard nursery meal timings. Thirdly, nursery ‘tea’ is usually just a substantial snack. Fourthly, a toddler at nursery most likely needs to be going to bed when they get home at that time after a full day and not sitting down for meal (despite what your ‘at home’ schedule is.

I don’t know my DD is 2 as well, been in nursery since her first birthday and has never gone to bed before 7.30/8, wakes up at 6.30/7 most days and naps for an hour or so in the afternoon and has more energy than some other toddlers we know.
Going to bed at 6 seems insanely early.

My son has tea at nursery but 70% of the time he doesn’t eat it and expects dinner at home.
nurseries treat lunch time as the main meal of the day.

That’s great if it works for your child. Many children, however, probably the majority, would benefit from an earlier bedtime after a full day at nursery. An average 2yr old’s sleep requirement is 12 hours night sleep.

Also, I’m not suggesting sleep time at 6.

Obviously it will vary child to child, but my DDs nursery don’t do a “tea” so all the children will need to be fed at home. This means literally every child there will be going home and staying up for a meal (when I’ve picked DD up at 5 before she has been the first to go so most of them aren’t leaving early either).
So for the majority of toddlers I know it’s normal to go home, have a meal then go to bed.
The recommended sleep for a 2 year old is between 11 and 14 hours including naps.

Just because your child’s nursery does this, it doesn’t mean it’s ideal for a child’s schedule. Also 11-14hrs total daily sleep means average of 12hrs nighttime sleep, hence why I said it. Ideal sleep times and routines are not a moral judgement on your family’s schedules – they just are what they regardless of whether your family can adhere to them and whether your child copes fine outside of them.

My DD went to a nursery school rather than a day nursery. It's main day was 9-4.15 (or morning session 9-12.30/afternoon 1-4) but they could arrive from 8 and stay til 5.30. The children who stayed for lunch took a packed lunch and had it at the end of the morning session at 12.30. They had a snack provided in the morning and afternoon but no tea. So might be worth looking for a nursery school?

My 3 (3,3,1) just started nursery too. Similar meal times that I find bizarre too. We stick to normal meal times on other days. Snack at 3.45 was a jacket potato and beans one day last week. Very odd.