Hey I really need to know if I’m going crazy or if it is my DH who is unreasonable in this situation. I could ask my family but I really want someone impartial to give an honest view. I’m married for 11 years some happier than others if I’m honest but that’s a real marriage isn’t it??? My DC are 6 and 8 and in all they time they have been on this earth my MIL or SIL have never babysat but that is by the by. Some background, I’m not from London but this is where we live and all of my family live (200 miles away) where I’m from but we go to see them regularly and they often come and stay and will always babysit whenever needed.
My MIL has recently started visiting more and making more effort with the kids which is good. She lives with my SIL who has no kids and lives a full life, being out with friends, working, travelling and keeping fit. At one time they were very close some might say inseparable but for some reason not so much anymore, DH says she’s lonely and feels he needs to make her feel more welcome at ours as she is almost 80!
I do not mind this at all except, I do all the chores around the house, cooking, cleaning, washing up, ironing EVERYTHING. Which is fine as he is the bread winner in a very stressful job, he wfh some days and when he is, he barely leaves his computer and is in a tonne of Zoom meetings. So when MIL comes round during the week I know it’s my responsibility to look after her. I have recently started my own business so I’m not always at home and some of my time is spent prepping for sessions or on my own Zoom calls. My DH often invites his Mum over during the week without giving me any notice and I find myself having to cancel calls or put my work stuff to one side because I feel I have to spend time taking care of her which I of course don’t mind, if she is at our house and he is in his office. I asked him to discuss it with me before he invites her over and he was NOT impressed saying that “he shouldn’t have to discuss with me when his Mum comes to HIS house”. I tried to explain that as I’m the one who is looking after her it’s only fair. He told me that I didn’t have to and that if I’m out he’ll handle it. I just wanted him to give me the opportunity to organise my schedule so that I actually have time for her when she is here, rather than cancelling my plans at the last minute or leaving her down stairs alone which I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate. Plus she is Vegan which we are NOT so I often find myself running round at the last minute trying to find and prep separate food for her to eat.
Sorry I know it’s a long one but I just need to know AIBU or is he???