Okay let me start off with a little back story first... i cut out my entire mothers side due to them enabling my mothers behavior's. I was always the ugly duckling she would demonstrate it in many ways but the one behavior that disturbed me the most was the time my mother took myself and her boyfriend to Tunisia (i was 14/15 at the time) and she engaged in sexual intercourse less than a meter away from the single bed that i was sleeping on, merely divided by a small drawer. She excused her behaviour with "its only a bit of fun" and "don't be so ungrateful, i saved and worked overtime for this holiday and you've been nothing but ungrateful"
Another way was when my sister wanted to go into a dead end job she received nothing but support but as i was in my later teen years doing a carpentry apprenticeship she was robbing tools that i paid for myself through my apprenticeship (note she was charging me £250 a fortnight in board as "your sister does it, why can't you? further, note that i was on £4.75 at the time) so those tools were more than just the money. As my sister is older than me i confided in her and told her about the things that were bothering me as another dreaded holiday was up and coming and i was having nervous break downs all the time.
fast forward to the present, i met the love of my life and managed to beat my mental health issues all thanks to my wife and we had a beautiful daughter and she is our pride and joy. I gave my sister the benefit of the doubt and let her back into my life so maybe we can reconstruct our relationship for the sake of my daughter. Before my daughter was born my wife and i met with my sister on a couple of occasions which made me think "okay, shes changed, she's a lot more mature now i have absolutely no problem with her meeting our child"
Fast forward to 2 weeks after giving birth she starts showing a bad side to her, a side that was all too familiar to me. Questioning our parenting skills and being really condescending with her advice even though her experience with children has been only as a baby sitter for her best friends kids (they co-sleep even now at the age of 7 so i don't trust this woman's advice especially with it has been gleamed from another person) my sister suggested to give our daughter tap water at the age of 2 weeks so her advice was shockingly bad.
A month or so ago we had an argument over the same sort of thing, sister came to visit and everything was okay until our daughter started moaning and complaining so i said "here give her here ill try to work some daddy magic" and she went on to say "i've done this for a lot longer than you have" and "how dare you question me when i'm only trying to help" " i've been around kids for years" to which i said "yes but baby sitting supervised is a lot different to being a parent, you'll never have to wake up 4 times during the night just to change her nappy or put her dummy back in", i saw my wife was getting increasingly upset with the atmosphere my sister had created so i dismissed the argument until later on the phone in private.
long story short i said something along the lines of " don't you ever bring that sort of confrontation to our house again especially when it concerns our daughter, advice is good but when you start interfering thats when we have a problem, i let you in out of the benefit of doubt but don't push it, you're on thin ice" to where she hung up and called me back 15 minutes later crying her eyes out (normal defence mechanism for her) saying she's sorry etc etc. This was erratic and irrational behaviour so i dismissed it straight away. But i gave her a 3rd chance and now she seems to not even be bothered in the slightest, saying nothing or replying with just emojis after sending her a video of a recent milestone. So my question is, do i even entertain her? and also..am i being unreasonable?. I know this is a long one so thank you for any replies but this is a story that relied on the back story being told.
Thank you.