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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cut my long hair short even tho DH doesn't want me to?

96 replies

Hair2daygone2morrow · 13/10/2023 06:38

My hair is currently just below shoulder length but I just don't feel it's me. I always had short hair growing up but then decided to grow it when I was 18. It's very rare I wear it down these days (except if I'm getting dressed up) and it morally just sits on my head in a pony tail.

I'm really tempted to have a pixie cut but my husband doesn't want me to as he prefers me with longer hair (I've had my hair cut short before just before we got married). Don't worry, he's not controlling or anything, and wouldn't stop me from doing it, he's just said he would prefer it if I didn't do it. Of course I value his opinion and I now have the dilemma of either going for it or not!

Help!

OP posts:
HungryandIknowit · 13/10/2023 06:41

Do it. I would if it would suit me (it wouldn't). You shouldn't have asked him but now you have best to ignore.

guild · 13/10/2023 06:44

How would you feel if he really wanted a new hair cut that you didn't like but he did like and it would make him more comfortable?

DustyLee123 · 13/10/2023 06:46

I wouldn’t go straight to a pixie from your length, maybe Bob it first, then pixie if you still want it.

Gettingbysomehow · 13/10/2023 06:49

My exH once shaved his beard and moustache off. He was a biker. Didn't tell me just did it. His new little baby face was not attractive. I didn't fancy him any more. It's quite a big thing when you go for a big change like that.

RosaBaby2 · 13/10/2023 06:55

Gettingbysomehow · 13/10/2023 06:49

My exH once shaved his beard and moustache off. He was a biker. Didn't tell me just did it. His new little baby face was not attractive. I didn't fancy him any more. It's quite a big thing when you go for a big change like that.

This happened to me, I couldn't even look at him for a while but it grew back😂

Op I think you should do what you want!

Loopytiles · 13/10/2023 06:57

If you think it’ll look good and you’ll like it, do it!

Thequeenofthetypis · 13/10/2023 07:03

The mistake you made was asking him first.
It's your hair, do what you like.

return2sender · 13/10/2023 07:14

I did this! I didn't tell my DH so he did get a shock 😂 but he loved it.

I have done it twice, but found it needed cutting more. So it's now chin length.

I loved it though, so easy to style - and quick!

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 13/10/2023 07:16

It's your hair, not his! Do what you like with it. He will get used to it!

ThreeLeggedKitten · 13/10/2023 07:17

Could you go half way initially with a Bob, then get the full chop if still keen

icantchangetime · 13/10/2023 07:20

Pixie cut needs constant cutting. Are you committed to that?

Good thing is that hair grows so if you do it and don't like it you can always let it grow back

Gypsum5 · 13/10/2023 07:21

I’m thinking of doing the same, but do not go for a bob!

TheChosenTwo · 13/10/2023 07:24

Why would you value our opinion over your husbands?! Also, I don’t take any notice of what dh would prefer me to do with my hair because it’s mine!! He likes it best when it’s really long but it’s a pain in the area to deal with because it’s very thick, I keep it at a long bob so it can be put up easily and dried and styled quickly. Tough shit what he prefers, he can choose his own hairstyle. He gets his cut shorter than I would choose for him but it’s not my business.
Why would you talk about this to him?! Now you’ll feel torn about your new haircut!

GreyDuck · 13/10/2023 07:30

My husband also prefers my hair longer. I'd style it the way he likes for a date night, but I'm not willing to put up with the wrong length every day.
Do you value his opinion on fashion and style? I might feel differently if it was a topic he had an interest in.

Jewelspun · 13/10/2023 07:32

I hate pixie cuts and short hair on women so I'm biased but are you prepared to maintain short hair?

Sailawaygirl · 13/10/2023 07:38

I cut my hair short this year. My DP also said he prefers me to have longer hair ( longer than shoulders)and he did spend a bit of time getting used to it. Interestingly all my friends commented on how lovely my new pixie was. It was just dp who didn't like it at first. I bought some sexy underwear at the same time to make up for him thinking I looked too boyish! I'm growing it out again now as I am expecting baby and I know I can't afford the upkeep ( and extra time). I'm feeling like my hair is a mess now as it is the in between pixie / short bon length but DP keeps saying how nice it is a little longer so I do feel better about it.

Cut it and see how you feel. It's hair it grows back !

Original poster
Hair2daygone2morrow · 13/10/2023 09:31

TheChosenTwo · 13/10/2023 07:24

Why would you value our opinion over your husbands?! Also, I don’t take any notice of what dh would prefer me to do with my hair because it’s mine!! He likes it best when it’s really long but it’s a pain in the area to deal with because it’s very thick, I keep it at a long bob so it can be put up easily and dried and styled quickly. Tough shit what he prefers, he can choose his own hairstyle. He gets his cut shorter than I would choose for him but it’s not my business.
Why would you talk about this to him?! Now you’ll feel torn about your new haircut!

It's not that I value the opinion of strangers over that of my husband, I was merely looking for different perspectives on the situation👍

OP posts:
Original poster
Hair2daygone2morrow · 13/10/2023 09:32

Gypsum5 · 13/10/2023 07:21

I’m thinking of doing the same, but do not go for a bob!

Definitely do not want a bob! They look great on others but they're just not me!

OP posts:
Original poster
Hair2daygone2morrow · 13/10/2023 09:33

Gettingbysomehow · 13/10/2023 06:49

My exH once shaved his beard and moustache off. He was a biker. Didn't tell me just did it. His new little baby face was not attractive. I didn't fancy him any more. It's quite a big thing when you go for a big change like that.

Thank you for sharing this, it has made me think. It is probably a bigger thing for him than I have considered it to be

OP posts:
GloomySkies · 13/10/2023 09:37

At least hair grows back. My ex came home one day with an enormous tattoo all over their back. I generally find tattoos very unattractive and I was seriously put off, but it was the permanence of it that was the big problem.

VickyEadieofThigh · 13/10/2023 09:39

Thequeenofthetypis · 13/10/2023 07:03

The mistake you made was asking him first.
It's your hair, do what you like.

This.

YABU for not just doing it.

W0tnow · 13/10/2023 09:39

He is perfectly reasonable to give his opinion, you’re perfectly reasonable to ask for it. You’re also perfectly reasonable to cut your hair. Or not.

Glad I’ve sorted it for you. 😁

MrsELB12 · 13/10/2023 09:42

I get the sentiment of everyone saying it’s your hair, do what you want. I don’t disagree, but personally I want to feel attractive to my husband so I would consider his opinion on that sort of thing. I would hope he’d do the same before growing a moustache & beard which I find really unattractive.

Augustus40 · 13/10/2023 09:52

You could always buy a long hair wig on Etsy for special occasions. If you cut it short.

LumiB · 13/10/2023 09:52

Where is the line though? If someone gets deep wrinkles and you find that no longer makes them attractive would you expect them to get botox? What about grey hair? What about if they put on weight?

Are some of you really saying that the person who met and were attracted to has look the same all the time?