To be sick of having bombshells dropped on me at parents’ evenings?!

[Vestisbest]

Two DC. I do pick up 4 out of 5 days.

My eldest, it turns out, has ASD and ADHD. Nothing negative about his behaviour was ever mentioned by school, until he was almost at the end of reception, and then it was in parents’ evening, the 5 minutes you get allocated. That was the first of many, but nothing ever mentioned in between parents’ evenings. I contacted the SENCO myself to get things moving, set up meetings, organise a referral. Thankfully there are now no longer any surprises at DS1’s parents’ evenings because he has a weekly report book home to me, so I can address any issues with him at home.

My DS2 has just started reception. He’s had a wobbly start, lots of tears, which to be fair his teacher mentioned at pick up in the first week. I have been asking at the end of each week since whether he’s been ok, and she said he has, much better.

Yesterday at parents’ evening, his teacher told me that he’s having problems at play times, lashing out if there are too many children around him. He isn’t hitting or pushing but he gets very angry and the playground supervisors have to intervene. This has been happening every week apparently.

So yet another horrible surprise dropped on me when I’ve only got 5 minutes to ask further. I will be setting up a meeting about it with his teacher if it carries on, but is this really how it’s meant to be? I thought there was never meant to be any surprises at parents’ evening. As I’ve mentioned I do pick up nearly every day and so there’s been plenty of chances for the teacher to mention to me, or to ask me to ring school to have a word. I thought it was meant to be a 3 way relationship, it very much doesn’t feel that way.

Certainly our school isnt looking for any issues. It is ignoring them.
It is trying to push kids through with minimum cost and effort.

NRTFT, but about your son’s anger and playground behaviour, is he Summer born? Any chance he has some of older child’s traits as these can run in families.

Previously a teacher, and I agree to no surprises at PE, but 30 plus children per class, many of whom will have issues like your older son or who may be disrupting learning in lessons, then the one whose nana has died, or whose parents are divorcing, or don’t have enough money for bus fares, or whose attendance is poor because they are ill, or looking after younger siblings.
I could have phoned/ spoken to the parents of almost every child I taught daily.

I am sorry your little one is struggling and having been there many years ago, I know how devastating this news must have been.

@slaggybumbum he is spring born so on the younger side but not really young. Interestingly his class is a very young one this year, my eldest is autumn born and his class is an “old” class.

Re his anger, my older child doesn’t actually have the same issues. I would say having an older brother who is often mean to him though has had an influence, as DS2 is probably a lot more on the defence than DS1
ever was.