To expect my 11 year old to be able to use the toilet during the school day?

[bendy75]

Is this the norm? My 11 year old started in at secondary school last month and has had two warnings (or stage 2 - Low level disruptions) for asking to use the toilet.

I told him to try and go at break times but he tells me they are locked, confirmed today by staff when I asked, children who have a medical need can apply for a toilet pass but he does not, so has to try and go from 8.00 am until returning home around 3.00pm without using the toilet.

AIBU to be shocked by this?

I don't remember that at all I suppose your experience is different to mine.

Thats easier said than done. The child still needs an education. That means home school or finding an alternative school.
Few people are capable of successfully home schooling secondary aged children doing the jobs of about a dozen trained professionals.
Finding an alternative is probably not easy either

This also happens at my daughters all girls school, it’s disgraceful.

I’ve been teaching for 15 years and I’m afraid I find the school’s thinking here absolutely bizarre. Teenage girls often have a sudden need to go to the toilet to change a tampon or pad, and to deny children the right to go to the toilet for hours at a time is awful. I don’t understand why they need additional staff to ensure toilets are open and accessible- at least during break times. Surely they are creating more problems by expecting the entire school to use the loos in a 30 minute window and making students wait to get inside as everyone is going at the same time? I find policies like these cruel and unnecessary to be honest.

A lot if schools refuse all kids access to toilets during school time even girls on their periods. It's barbaric that they treat kids like this but it definitely happens.

My high school was a dump, a lot of discipline problems. But we had free access to unlocked toilets. There were some issues with that but not many.

Good to have the heads up, I will be asking about this at open days when my eldest gets to y6 and I'll disregard any school that thinks this is OK.

The school I work at scrapped break time, so lunch would be there only opportunity.
They can go in lesson changeover but only if they can still make it to their next lesson before the late bell. They get 3-4 mins to get to their next lesson.
Teachers often get in trouble for sending kids to the toilet. We also have pretty much the same opportunity to go if we have no free periods that day. Can’t tell you how fun that was earlier in the year when I had a water infection at 7 months pregnant 🤦🏼‍♀️.
If a child persistently asked me while I was trying to teach they would get behaviour points. If I thought they were genuinely desperate I’d send them and risk getting told off.

You can sue the school for negligence.
I think submitting a neglegence claim for phycological distress and anxiety, should spark change.

Hopefully, just talking and being reasonable is enough and you don't need legal action.

I think its fundamentally wrong to deprive someone of using the bathroom.

Alternatively, you could

• get your child diagnosed for ibs so they get unrestricted access

I have a lot of protest ideas that are probably way too far

• have girls pretend their bleeding and leave blood on chairs
• have kids all pretend to wet themselves. Leave urine on seats in classrooms.
• have kids go to the toilet and not leave the toilet stall because they don't want to be locked out. If they all did this that would cause chaos

Probably the most effective - lock the door to the staffs toilets. Especially the person? Probably head of school that makes decision on toilet policies.
Failing that have the kids sit outside and block it.

But also parents can get involved?

Get kids to use staff toilets?

...

On a serious note though, speak to the head. State your concern. Hopefully they will be reasonable. If not. You've got newspaper and negligence claims.

Anyone here justifying locking toilets.
Just no.

What if your period starts.
What if you suddenly need to go.
Imagine if someone stopped you from going to the bathroom.
Imagine needing to poop or pee but having to hold it in an hour and furthermore expected to concentrate.

Surely school is about creating a safe healthy space for children and educating them.
Being denied the toilet will induce negative mental outcomes for children. It may also cause utis and bowel related issues.
For girls on periods, they may bleed through their trousers and not just the have embarrassment but also probably have to go home because its not sanitary to wear blood soaked clothing.

In sports if kids bleed they are sent to deal with it ASAP. They aren't allowed to continue with the lesson.
So why is it different for periods.

Toilets are also a safe space for people with anxiety attacks, migraines, need to take medicines but don't want to be seen doing so.

Happy to debate to the end of the earth on this.

Please ignore this really poor advice. I won't even address the collective weeing on seats etc

Resorting to litigation is ludicrous (and expensive) without exhausting the protocol for complaints.

Have you contacted the school?

You may find this useful

https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-school/state-schools

This is so weird. I've worked in secondary schools for 27 years. Obviously children need to go to the toilet. Nearly all the problems with disruption to lessons come from a handful of year 7 children almost all boys who persistently insist on leaving classes usually only a few minutes into the new class.
This problem has increased in the last few years. It's definitely a behaviour issue rather than a medical one. I'm in charge of getting medical evidence for medical toilet passes so I actually know this for a fact.
BTW pretty much no teacher ever questions a girl who asks to go. Rightly so.
But to lock the toilets at break is asking for trouble. The decision making at your sons school at senior level is bonkers.

Never

That is inhumane. He needs a pass then, wtf!

This is batshit. Wtaf has staffing issues got to do with having the toilet open at breaktimes?! Write to the chair of governors OP.

But bet no one wet themselves or bled through

Toilets are also a safe space for people with anxiety attacks, migraines, need to take medicines but don't want to be seen doing so.

@Lalalalala555 you have got to be kidding. Secondary school toilets are terrifying places, the least safe places in the building. I am not exaggerating when I say that thinking about them still makes me anxious and I left secondary school in 1990.

Because they need to be staffed.

This calculation would figure in my stiff response to the head and I would start escalation processes.

Don’t schools have a caretaker to lock and unlock toilets?

What does that mean? I had relatively heavy periods. Not as bad as some girls, who absolutely do bleed through.

Dear God. What dreadful advice.
Dont do this.

Are all the schools locking the toilets doing it because of antisocial behaviour & vandalism (after it's happened several times, not as a deterrent) or are some just doing it so the children don't leave their lessons?

Just bloody disgusting, going to the toilet is a human right.

What about girls and periods.

Can you imagine if we did this in businesses, you have one 30min period to all go to the toilet in the middle of the day....

No wonder kids don't want to go to school, what will that and draconian uniform policies, food policies, hair policies etc etc

Join the Parents Association and bring this issue up as many children will be feeling the same pressure. It is not acceptable to not be able to go to the toilet at break times.

At the very least the school should provide all children with a list of which toilets are open and supervised at which times - a list for them to recall and discuss with their parents too.

It is rubbish that you have to phone and clarify and take time to worry about this lack of amenity.

Would it work to have one toilet open and a member of the lunch team come in in the morning and stay after lunch to stand outside, let them in one at a time and write down their names, check no vandalism has happened after they leave? That way the staff member gets some extra hours in and there's a list of how often they go, if they're taking the Mick and truanting and if they've done any damage. It doesn't cost that much to have a member or two of staff do a couple of extra hours a day...it's definitely worth the spend. Apologies if that's a stupid idea, I'm just wondering how this can be resolved?!

A majority of secondary schools are locking toilets all day due to vandalism, bullying and vaping.