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Original poster

To ask for a "gift" back?

109 replies

OrangeEggsAndHam · 10/10/2023 13:42

I'm currently decluttering. I have an iPad Pro 2021 that has just been sitting there gathering dust. It was used as my primary note-taking device for a 3-4 month stint while I was doing some courses, but now that that's over, I've been trying to sell it on.

An old acquaintances of mine saw my post on Facebook and sent a sob story about how her DS could really use it for school, how they are really struggling with the CoL crisis etc. She asked if I could loan them the iPad for 2-3 years till things get better for them. In 2-3 years it'd depreciate even more and selling it then would take more effort than what it was worth so I said I'd give it to her.

That was 2 weeks ago. Fast forward to yesterday I messaged her asking how DS was getting along with his iPad and she told me that she was planning to sell it on, get a cheaper iPad, and then use the extra money to get the kids some presents for Christmas! If I'd known her DS wasn't going to use the iPad I'd have just sold it on instead of giving it to her!! My plan was never to subsidise her Christmas...

I've since asked for the iPad back which she is very reluctant about. She's been saying something about how they've already factory reset the device, have arranged for a buyer to collect it next week, have looked into getting a base model device etc. Asked her to pay my original asking price (which is £50 more than what she's posted it for) and she said she can't afford that.

WIBU to ask her to give it back or pay the asking price minus £50? I know it was a gift but the only reason I offered to give it to her is because she said her DS REALLY needed it and was going to use it!

OP posts:
ToadOnTheHill · 10/10/2023 16:18

I'd go round and speak to her about it in person. You must know where she lives?

Depending on was in the messages, I'd either tell her I recall it being a loan and I'll call the police, now, to reclaim it as I have proof of purchase and she is refusing to give it back or, of have a draft of social media posts and screenshots ready and give her the ultimatum that if she doesnt had it over, now, you'll publish them on the spot telling people what shes done and to watch out for her. And o would post it. If its factual she cant do anything about it.

ToadOnTheHill · 10/10/2023 16:20

Alternatively get a mate to offer her more money for it and ask to see it working and do a runner.

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 10/10/2023 16:24

Interesting

It's like last weeks shoe thread 🧐

tolerable · 10/10/2023 16:33

nope!
thats utterly cf .Id demand it back-what a witch

Beautiful3 · 10/10/2023 16:52

Yes ask for it back. She lied, she said her son needed it, but she's selling it on!!! Nope, demand it back and tell her you're mad.

Sweepies · 10/10/2023 16:58

This really annoyed me! I know it was a "gift" but it's not as clear cut as that, she essentially begged for a free iPad under the guise that her son would use it, she then wants to sell it on buy a cheaper model and make a tidy profit for herself. Ultimate cheek!

Message idea:

Friend, that's really not on. I gave you the iPad as I thought your son desperately needed it for school, to then sell it on and make a profit is very disingenuous. I am coming on date to collect it or the payment for it, if I am not given the iPad or payment then I will be forced to use the serial number to report it as stolen.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/10/2023 17:07

She’s a cheeky fucker and I’d be doing whatever I could to get it back

Greatbigfluffytrousers · 10/10/2023 17:13

You’re very kind OP, she isn’t. The friendship is over anyway so you might as well do whatever you are comfortable doing to get it back.

CutiePatooties · 10/10/2023 17:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Foreveristoolong · 10/10/2023 17:22

Tell her you understand, to pop back with it and you’ll give her the money for a cheaper one and towards her Xmas …. Get it back in your hand and slam the door in her face

billy1966 · 10/10/2023 17:42

She is an absolute con artist.

I would be getting that back.

No way would I tolerate such premeditated scamming like that.

boscabosco · 10/10/2023 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CutiePatooties · 10/10/2023 20:04

@boscabosco no, you might need to go back to school and get an education.

If they’ve had discussions via messages where the OP has said she is giving it to her as a gift, then the property now belongs to her friend.

I’m not a walkover. I wouldn’t have given the friend the iPad in the first place, if I wanted the money from selling it.

You do know a gift and a loan aren’t the same thing? Google it, if you know how to operate a search engine with that brain of yours!

Sumtimesiamgreen · 10/10/2023 20:06

Knock on her door and ask for it back. You’ve lost a friend anyway

Lewiscapaldiscat · 10/10/2023 20:09

This isn’t an either or - get it back and cut her off!

can you block it as stolen?

Millybob · 10/10/2023 20:16

She's a CF. I'd be banging on her door and demanding it back. Loudly.

cansu · 10/10/2023 20:20

I would get it back. Normally I would say a gift is a gift but this seems very dishonest of her.

caringcarer · 10/10/2023 20:21

Did you give it to her or her DS? If her DS insist it is his to use or she return it.

musicforthesoul · 10/10/2023 20:24

I'd be livid. It's not like you gave it to her as a birthday present, it was purely so her DS could have something she said he needed. I'd be wanting the ipad back. I'd probably reluctantly accept your asking price minus 50 if she'd really rather do the money as that seems in the range you'd expect to negotiate for a used ipad.

if she refuses entirely I don't think you have any legal comeback so in that case you'd have to write it off unfortunately. That would be the end of the friendship for me though, I'd feel scammed.

MiniBossFromAus · 10/10/2023 20:24

OrangeEggsAndHam · 10/10/2023 13:50

She said she wanted to borrow it. Her idea was that they'd keep it in tip top condition, and in 2-3 years, I'll be able to sell it as I was intending to. The issue is that tech moves quickly and in 2-3 years the iPad would probably be worth a fraction of what it's worth now. Frankly I felt sorry for her DS from what she said so I'd give it to them. No where in the equation was I expecting her to want to profit off of me.

Techo here.

In 2-3 years you would likely not even been able to give it away. A 3 year old iPad is worth 2/5ths of nothing.

You gave it away. Your loss, sorry your friend is cheeky as fuck.

Tbry · 10/10/2023 20:30

It was a loan, the iPad is your iPad. Of course you can ask for it back.

It’s not up to you to pay for her sons Christmas presents.

What on earth is wrong with some people.

SunsetCurtain · 10/10/2023 20:32

She can keep the iPad but sadly if it were me, she'd be losing the friendship.

velvetstars · 10/10/2023 20:32

Definitely get it back. The friendship is over anyway so make sure you're not out of pocket the money for the iPad and a friendship. She is a CF, it wasn't a gift as it was obtained by deceit.

brentwoods · 10/10/2023 20:33

OrangeEggsAndHam · 10/10/2023 14:04

Technically I know it's hers as I've given it to her. Still doesn't help that I feel like I've been cheated. It's not too different from when someone asks you to give them money under false pretences when their goal has always been to profit off you. Guess I've been naive and gullible then.

You were cheated. You gave it to her for her son to use because she said she was desperate. Very rude of her. I'd have no problem asking for it back as you gave it to her with the condition that her son was going to use it, not that she was going to fund Christmas off your back.

redastherose · 10/10/2023 20:35

Personally I think this is a conditional gift, you gave it on the understanding that her son would be using it for 3-4 years. The minute she said she was going to sell it instead then she has broken the condition under which the gift was made and hence the gifting is negated and you are entitled to request the he return of the iPad or payment in lieu thereof.

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