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Original poster

To ask for a "gift" back?

109 replies

OrangeEggsAndHam · 10/10/2023 13:42

I'm currently decluttering. I have an iPad Pro 2021 that has just been sitting there gathering dust. It was used as my primary note-taking device for a 3-4 month stint while I was doing some courses, but now that that's over, I've been trying to sell it on.

An old acquaintances of mine saw my post on Facebook and sent a sob story about how her DS could really use it for school, how they are really struggling with the CoL crisis etc. She asked if I could loan them the iPad for 2-3 years till things get better for them. In 2-3 years it'd depreciate even more and selling it then would take more effort than what it was worth so I said I'd give it to her.

That was 2 weeks ago. Fast forward to yesterday I messaged her asking how DS was getting along with his iPad and she told me that she was planning to sell it on, get a cheaper iPad, and then use the extra money to get the kids some presents for Christmas! If I'd known her DS wasn't going to use the iPad I'd have just sold it on instead of giving it to her!! My plan was never to subsidise her Christmas...

I've since asked for the iPad back which she is very reluctant about. She's been saying something about how they've already factory reset the device, have arranged for a buyer to collect it next week, have looked into getting a base model device etc. Asked her to pay my original asking price (which is £50 more than what she's posted it for) and she said she can't afford that.

WIBU to ask her to give it back or pay the asking price minus £50? I know it was a gift but the only reason I offered to give it to her is because she said her DS REALLY needed it and was going to use it!

OP posts:
Wheredideveryonego · 10/10/2023 14:12

I disagree that as it was given to her she can sell it. You only gifted it to her because she asked for it with false presences. As far as I'm concerned she scammed you, you wouldn't write others scams off saying "oh well, you handed the money over now so it's theirs"

Janieforever · 10/10/2023 14:13

I’m shocked at this and don’t give a shit about the technicalities, you’ve basically been scammed. She lied to you to con it out of you and promptly then is selling it on.

id demand it back. Total scam. And I’d break all contact with this person. Appalling behaviour.

YoureALizardHarry11 · 10/10/2023 14:20

What a cheeky cow!!! This has pissed me off and it’s not even me 🤣😱

londonguild · 10/10/2023 14:22

This happened to me at university. I have my friend a dress and then saw her two weeks later selling it at a car boot sale 🙈

PrincessHoneysuckle · 10/10/2023 14:22

There's an unwritten rule that if someone gives you something for free then you don't sell it on you just don't its cheeky af.

MichelleScarn · 10/10/2023 14:26

Wheredideveryonego · 10/10/2023 14:12

I disagree that as it was given to her she can sell it. You only gifted it to her because she asked for it with false presences. As far as I'm concerned she scammed you, you wouldn't write others scams off saying "oh well, you handed the money over now so it's theirs"

This, friendship would be over for me anyway so I'd rather get it back.
Are you still registered apple owner?

NotObligedToArgueWithStrangers · 10/10/2023 14:32

Yes, technically you gave it and so she can technically do what she likes with it. Still a cheeky shitty trick to play on a friend though. Call her out, tell her she knows damn well it was meant for her child to use and not to be sold on by her. She can either return it immediately or your friendship is over. She probably won't, so you'll have lost out but at least you'll be rid of this cheeky bitch.

Allwelcone · 10/10/2023 14:33

She sounds horrible.

olderbutwiser · 10/10/2023 14:39

What a moral dilemma. I think she is an outrageous cheeky f£; suspect you have to chalk it up to experience (I also suspect she’s sold it on already) but yet another case of No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.

CoffeeCantata · 10/10/2023 14:40

OP, I sympathise. What a mercenary, hard-faced woman!

In my experience really needy and deserving people don't behave like her - it's the CFs who always have a manipulative 'sob story'.

I hope you get it back. The cheek of it.

Ellie1015 · 10/10/2023 14:42

I would be asking for it back too. Awful behaviour to sell at as you had planned to but she asked you for it!!!

I would assure her that if she sold it then friendship would be over you would be warning others of her scam.

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 10/10/2023 14:47

She sounds typical of the increasing personality type 'I Want this thing NOW' who sees others possessions as being 'unfair' and they should be handed them or whatever they want on a plate!

Theunamedcat · 10/10/2023 14:49

Can you not contact apple and ask them to lock it people like her really are annoying I once gave a laptop to a "friend" as her daughter needed one for her GCSES they sold it and their daughter STILL didn't have one for her GCSES 😒

Sugarfree23 · 10/10/2023 14:53

Op you've been scammed.
I think you should go and ask for it back. Selling it on was not part of the deal.

Technically you could argue you gave it to the boy, not the mum, so it's not the mums to sell and buy gifts with either.

Alltheparmesanplease · 10/10/2023 14:54

I would most definitely be asking for it back. The cheeky cow.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 10/10/2023 14:56

I disagree with others saying it was a gift you can't ask for it back! It wasn't a birthday present! In this situation i would definitely ask for it back although if she refuses there isn't much you can do. I can't believe she had the nerve to actually tell you her plan either. Be as bold as her.

"Afternoon cheeky fucker. I am really disappointed in the way this situation has turned out. I planned to sell my Ipad to get some money for our family pot/christmas/whatever. I felt for you when you reached out and decided to give you the ipad for him to use as a nice gesture, not for you to sell on for a profit. I feel a bit taken advantage of. I'd like you to return the ipad so i can sell it on as i originally planned."

Namerequired · 10/10/2023 14:58

She’s a cf for sure. Legally I suppose you have it to her, morally she totally scammed you. She’s obviously assumed you saw it for sale or she would never have told you. Awful.
You can definitely ask for it back, but I don’t fancy your chances. Can you get it locked? If you can, I would. She shouldn’t get to profit. I would also comment under her sale post.

IfYouDontAsk · 10/10/2023 15:01

She’s really awful but I do think once you give something to someone you have to relinquish any claim over it (because as you’ve found out people can be so disappointing and behave like this). She originally asked for a loan and you said she could just have it, which indicated that you weren’t bothered about the money you could make from selling it on. Sorry though, I’d be gutted if a friend behaved like this.

RowenaEllis · 10/10/2023 15:06

Cheeky bitch. Go get your iPad and then block this woman!!

SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2023 15:06

OrangeEggsAndHam · 10/10/2023 13:50

She said she wanted to borrow it. Her idea was that they'd keep it in tip top condition, and in 2-3 years, I'll be able to sell it as I was intending to. The issue is that tech moves quickly and in 2-3 years the iPad would probably be worth a fraction of what it's worth now. Frankly I felt sorry for her DS from what she said so I'd give it to them. No where in the equation was I expecting her to want to profit off of me.

You can afford to have let it go for nothing, she clearly is tight on cash of she's going to the bother of getting this one, selling it and using the money split between another tablet and axmas presented. Let it go.

Original poster
OrangeEggsAndHam · 10/10/2023 15:07

I disagree with others saying it was a gift you can't ask for it back! It wasn't a birthday present! In this situation i would definitely ask for it back although if she refuses there isn't much you can do. I can't believe she had the nerve to actually tell you her plan either. Be as bold as her.

I think from her POV she sees it as PP said here

I don't know. I think you gave it to her as a gift if I understood correctly. After seeing the iPad she has realised that her son can do with a cheaper one and she can use the extra money for Christmas gifts. She didn't lie or get the ipad under a false pretext. Her son needs an iPad and by selling your iPad she can now afford to buy him an iPad plus some Christmas gifts. Also she told you that she is doing this so she probably doesn't think it's dishonest or that you'd mind.

where the end point results in her DS having an iPad anyway so the point of my "gift" is still valid as without it her DS would not have an iPad. From my POV the cost of an iPad Pro 256GB Cellular + Apple Pencil is vastly different from the cost of a base unit so that's a nice chunk of profit she received to spend on whatever she wants which is the scammy part imo.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2023 15:07

How are people proposing op "goes and gets it back"?

purplecorkheart · 10/10/2023 15:08

I know technically you gave it away but you gave it to her son and not to her. It is not hers to sell and put the money towards Christmas. I would insist that she returns it.

RowenaEllis · 10/10/2023 15:09

SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2023 15:07

How are people proposing op "goes and gets it back"?

Go knock on her door and ask for it?? She would have to be a brass balled CF to refuse to give it back under those circumstances!

Steev · 10/10/2023 15:10

SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2023 15:07

How are people proposing op "goes and gets it back"?

Knock on the door and ask for it.

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