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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why start a thread if you never return to it?

48 replies

BerriesNutsConkers · 10/10/2023 10:57

I'm getting so fed up with posters starting a thread and never returning to it!
What is the point of asking a vague AIBU and not responding to any requests for relevant info?

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 10/10/2023 10:58

I presume trolls really

Dairywairy · 10/10/2023 10:59

New posters sometimes probably get overwhelmed by the level of vitriol received on AIBU…
Others maybe just didn’t get the answers they hoped for
Some maybe feel embarrassed
All sorts of reasons probably.

BodenCardiganNot · 10/10/2023 10:59

@WandaWonder
Same.

EvilElsa · 10/10/2023 11:01

I think the main reason is probably the battering the OP gets (as it's more often the inflammatory threads where the OP never returns). Other than that, it's shit stirring.

diamondgreen · 10/10/2023 11:06

People sometimes aren’t very nice on here, that’s why I don’t always respond. Also it’s easy not to now you can use the thanks button.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 10/10/2023 11:13

Some people use AIBU as CTIANBU (confirm that...) and are absolutely astonished when some/most/all people tell them that they ARE BU. Some folk do live in extremely small worlds and it comes as a massive shock to them to discover that not everybody thinks the same way that they do about things.

Also, some people are buzzing with perceived injustice about something petty and thus start the thread, but they soon gain some perspective and realise that it doesn't really matter - so they leave the thread, whilst others are exercised and active because they can't believe how bothered somebody is about a 'so-called friend' telling them that something they bought on their behalf cost a fiver when it was actually only £4.93.

Plus what PPs said.

Mothership4two · 10/10/2023 11:42

Yes I tend to think trolls too especially if they have little or no history.

Or maybe some get their answer and move on?

Speckson · 10/10/2023 11:52

Drunk posting and then forgetting they've done it?

Mothership4two · 10/10/2023 11:55

Is @BerriesNutsConkers ironically planning to not post again too?

FiveShelties · 10/10/2023 11:56

WandaWonder · 10/10/2023 10:58

I presume trolls really

Yes, me too.

Lonesomefetter · 10/10/2023 11:56

I think speckson has a major answer, also if you get piled on there is no point going back and trying to justify or explain your points, it will just add to the finger wagging snark. Or you will get accused of erm that thing where you only mention something relevant later, the name has escaped me.

CalistoNoSolo · 10/10/2023 11:57

It's annoying, but I do find it amusing when OP doesn't come back and the thread gets up to 10+ pages of posters arguing amongst themselves about the tiniest nuances of the opening post.

BellaAndDave · 10/10/2023 11:58

I go to the OP first and click ‘see all’ to check if they’ve replied, if they haven’t I don’t bother to read.

SoundTheSirens · 10/10/2023 11:59

Lonesomefetter · 10/10/2023 11:56

I think speckson has a major answer, also if you get piled on there is no point going back and trying to justify or explain your points, it will just add to the finger wagging snark. Or you will get accused of erm that thing where you only mention something relevant later, the name has escaped me.

Dripfeeding.

Mothership4two · 10/10/2023 11:59

SoundTheSirens · 10/10/2023 11:59

Dripfeeding.

😂

Lonesomefetter · 10/10/2023 12:00

Yes! Thank you soundthesirens

Mothership4two · 10/10/2023 12:03

CalistoNoSolo · 10/10/2023 11:57

It's annoying, but I do find it amusing when OP doesn't come back and the thread gets up to 10+ pages of posters arguing amongst themselves about the tiniest nuances of the opening post.

But OP didn't say it was annoying she said she was fed up!

Wolvesart · 10/10/2023 12:04

A response isn’t necessarily required. Many replies either go off topic or say that the original poster hasn’t given enough info without praps considering they have said all the wish to.

I did a topic once where people got very shirty with me. The question I asked was not in AIBU and there was nothing controversial about it. The vitriol was absurd to the point of surreal. NB this was yonks ago and I’ve name changed etc. waaay back. No I’m not saying what it was about, but the point is that as soon as I started answering it got much worse

BerriesNutsConkers · 10/10/2023 12:04

Mothership4two · 10/10/2023 11:55

Is @BerriesNutsConkers ironically planning to not post again too?

Yes, I am.

I was cooking!!!

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 10/10/2023 12:05

Honestly there are some threads started like my son (who is 14) blah blah blah gets piled on how old is the child? You haven't said their ages?????!!!!! Etc OP or another poster might point out they are 14 they then get castigated for "not giving the information sooner" and so it continues with one side accusing OP of dripfeeding the other accusing them of lacking in reading and comprehension skills its no wonder they think fuck me im off to nethuns

Mothership4two · 10/10/2023 12:05

I thought it would be funny if you didn't come back Berries!

BerriesNutsConkers · 10/10/2023 12:06

I also don't understand the threads that roll on for pages when it's obvious the op isn't returning

OP posts:
Lonesomefetter · 10/10/2023 12:06

Tbf I read loads of interesting threads where I never check if they have updated or forget I have read it two minutes after. What happened with the lady who had a swollen finger?

WhateverMate · 10/10/2023 12:08

YANBU, I don't even get why trolls would do it? Surely the idea of trolling is to keep spinning more and more lies?

It annoys me when an OP doesn't return to a thread after posting about a DC problem, and leaving the ages out.

Ages are pretty much always relevant.

CarolinaInTheMorning · 10/10/2023 12:09

BellaAndDave · 10/10/2023 11:58

I go to the OP first and click ‘see all’ to check if they’ve replied, if they haven’t I don’t bother to read.

I often do this. I understand why some people might not post again, but I'm really not very interested in reading multiple pages of people arguing with each other when the OP does not reappear.