Children hitting childminder

[Vand]

NC for this.

I have worked in childcare for 15 years and never have encountered behaviour like I have seen in the past 12 months. 3 different children who are between the ages of 6-8 have hit me, kicked, elbowed and pushed on several different occasions.

My approach to children has not changed in those 15 years and I have always had great relationships with the children I care for. I have other children I look after who would not dream of behaving this way so it isn’t a lack of boundaries issue. None of the children who hit have SEN.

I am honestly gobsmacked. I expect hitting from toddlers but developmentally children should be able to control physical outbursts by about 4 years old. The children in question do all have similarities in their home life. Parents working very long hours (sometimes unavoidable I understand) and then children are attending clubs all weekend so are barely getting any time with parents.

AIBU to think it’s linked to this? Because I’m seriously feeling down about my job. I do not go to work to get hit multiple times a week by children and I’m now questioning my ability and whether to pack it all in even though there are other children in my care I have really lovely relationships with. I’ve never known this with multiple children of that age in 15 years of doing this to think they are okay to hit an adult especially someone outside of their family.

“It must be great money wise and fulfilling To them to be so far into their careers. But at what cost? Would cutting down hours and having one or two less holidays abroad a year not be worth spending more time with your child On a day to day basis so that they don’t have violent behavioural problems? No brainier to me but I don’t think that opinion would go down well on MN.”

judgemental.
my child spends long hours in childcare so that I can keep a roof over our heads and food on the table thanks to the cost of living. It’s not “great money wise”. We haven’t been on holiday abroad ever in his life.
horrible, horrible, horrible judgemental thing to say.

Nope. Sounds judgemental about being hot by multiple children who have no boundaries. How often are you hit in your job on a daily basis?

But the parents have opted for the senior position that keeps them away from home, that's the point.

There is no perfect childhood or perfect parenting, but some families get closer to the ideal than others.

A good start is being honest with yourself and others. Only seeing your children 2 hours a day and packing them off to activities during the weekend as well is not ideal.

If for some reason this is necessary, then read up on parenting methods, accept feedback from others such us your child's minder/teacher, accept that your child might act out to get your attention and have a plan to deal with it.

Literally this is not even close to the point the op is making. Your circumstance is completely the opposite. People are allowed to judge others, sometimes it’s not nice but sometimes it’s spot on.

Piss poor parenting . I would tell them about their child's appalling behaviour and give them notice.
Don't stand for this.

As a teacher I absolutely judge parents. Just like people judge teachers, waiters, cleaners, lawyers, doctors or whoever. Some people are good at their jobs, some aren't. Being a parent is arguably one of the most important jobs you could ever have. Unfortunately, some people struggle with it. And whatever their reasons (money worries, being abused as kids themselves, MH etc), the sad fact remains that their children are the ones who suffer for it.

The kids are hitting the OP. This is a major problem. Is it the kids' fault? Not really, they clearly haven't been taught better by their parents. So yes, I blame the parents, especially if they are as wishy washy about it as the OP describes.