Hi everyone. 2 weeks ago my husband changed work inside the department he was working at. He now has different co-workers and I was very excited for him. It's a better job oppertunity so I supported him all the way through. (Very early mornings, irregular timings) but always there to make his breakfast at 5 in the morning and to give him a hug for good luck.
Within the first days he and his female co-worker quickly became friends. I didn't mind cause I am grateful he's got some people around him that he likes. After a couple of days they started to text through Facebook Messenger, mostly about work but that quickly changed within a couple days. They started talking about other things too and I started to feel more uncomfortable.
Again a couple days later, and she now started messaging him late at night when my husband was home with me. I felt very disrespected but decided to keep my mouth shut to see where this would end up. She was the one starting the conversations most of the time and he didn't really try to keep the convo going, so I thought he tried to show boundaries. She started to post a lot of selfies in her Facebook stories and my husband was always quickly there to put hearts on every one of them.
Now yesterday, while he was at work, she send him a screenshot of their calling history. Don't ask me why she did that but I quickly made a screenshot of it to see how much they call. To my suprise almost all calls were made by my own husband! 6/7/8 times a day they were calling! Sometimes 5/6/7 minutes a time. Even the day before yesterday after he finished work he called her in the car ride back home. I got a bit sick to my stomach and knew it was time to confront him. The thing that made everything more suspicious is that he deleted that screenshot in their chat within 4 minutes. I think he might had a feeling that I would peek on his Facebook.
We both have eachothers passwords, never use it but since he started to hide his phone more that's when I started to log in to see whats happening. Now, I am not proud of snooping, but I am glad I did. I feel like all of this is just not okay.
I confronted him yesterday, he got all defensive and after an hour he said he understood my feelings. He's trying to paint me as a psycho for snooping, trying to turn this problem around.
I just want to know, am I the bad one in this story? I just feel really disrespected and unheard honestly
To add: He also hid that he brought her home one night after work. I told him why he didn't tell me and he said he thought that would cross my boundaries. I remember he came home late that night and when I asked him if he had extra work he said no he just brought a male co-worker home. He was very specific about the dude and it turns out it was her not a male worker. I told him that I wouldnt be upset with him bringing her home if its late and dark at night but with all of their calling and messaging all of it its just inappropriate.