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Original poster

To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

1000 replies

FullMoomin · 08/10/2023 05:10

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

OP posts:
Maatandosiris · 08/10/2023 07:29

Tbh if your friends have managed to save the CB they didn’t need it and should hand it back.

You needed it and used it for what it was meant for.

Your friends are the unreasonable ones.

Desecratedcoconut · 08/10/2023 07:30

Yeah, ours just went into the pot and, like the purpose it was built for, got spent on the bills. 🤷 So that's money spent on the house, food, clothing, warmth, hobbies - the things that improve the quality of a childhood - not squirrelled away for an adult child.

Stravaig · 08/10/2023 07:30

We clearly need tighten to tighten the rules about who gets CB!

It's supposed to help those struggling with the costs of raising children, exactly as you have used it. Well done, OP.

It is NOT there to provide a lump sum to already well off children at age 18. Your friends are exploitative shits, leeching off society, including from those far poorer than them.

LadyGeorginaSmythe · 08/10/2023 07:31

We get CB and DLA and we have to use it to live. Without it we'd definitely be going without. Absolutely no chance of saving it.

whatdoidoaboutit · 08/10/2023 07:32

A friend of mine inherited £50k at 18. He spent it all within 3 years, didn't have anything to show for it.

He's had a good life and successful career, but that's down to his natural talent and the work he put in at uni and then to his career. The money really made no difference to his future as he frittered it away on fun stuff.

TrashedSofa · 08/10/2023 07:32

Stravaig · 08/10/2023 07:30

We clearly need tighten to tighten the rules about who gets CB!

It's supposed to help those struggling with the costs of raising children, exactly as you have used it. Well done, OP.

It is NOT there to provide a lump sum to already well off children at age 18. Your friends are exploitative shits, leeching off society, including from those far poorer than them.

This keeps being said. How do people plan to design, resource and administer this process and what makes you think it would save any money in total?

BIossomtoes · 08/10/2023 07:33

Sheeponacid · 08/10/2023 05:13

Don't panic, you've done exactly what you were meant to with it! It's a benefit to you to help with the cost of children, not your children's money. I don't save ours, it just goes into the general household expenses. If your friends are saving it then good for them, I have no idea what my friends are doing with it. But please don't feel bad.

This. Everyone I know has spent it. It’s what it’s for. It’s not your children’s money, it’s yours.

Hufflepods · 08/10/2023 07:33

OP of all your friends are saying they saved all.the CB either you have very affluent friends or at least some of them.are lying because they are feeling like you do.

Weird assumption to jump to them lying. And you don’t exactly have to be “very affluent” to save £80 a month.

BabySharkDooDooDooDooDooDooDooDoo · 08/10/2023 07:33

LordEmsworth · 08/10/2023 05:14

Umm, as a taxpayer I am very glad you have used CB in the way it is intended. Good for you for using it to benefit your children when they needed it.

Your friends should give it back to the state of they didn't need it. It's not meant to provide a lump sum at 18.

Exactly!! People are working not receiving any benefit and unable to gift their kids £20k.

Are people really keeping benefits to give as a present? Why are they claiming if they don’t need it?

ScarlettSunset · 08/10/2023 07:35

I used child benefit to pay bills, buy food and generally keep my child in what they needed while they were growing up. Not using it wasn't even an option.
I'm fairly sure that was what the point of having it was. I do not feel even remotely guilty for using it in that way.

Hufflepods · 08/10/2023 07:35

@Stravaig *We clearly need tighten to tighten the rules about who gets CB!

It's supposed to help those struggling with the costs of raising children, exactly as you have used it. Well done, OP.*

Incorrect, it started as a universal benefit to act as a tax benefit for families. It was only capped in 2013 and at that point £50k was a hell of a lot more than it is today.

Gypsum5 · 08/10/2023 07:37

Some people need it, some don’t, that’s why CB should be means tested. I don’t believe all of the friends have saved the CB for 12 years.

I once knew someone who used to give CB to her teenagers so they didn’t keep asking for money, plus it helped them budget for the future. I thought that was a good idea if you could afford to do it.

WowOK · 08/10/2023 07:37

Your child had food in its belly, clothes on its back and a roof over its head. You couldn't afford to save it. There is no shame in that. I'm sure your daughter will love whatever you get her for her birthday. Don't worry about what everyone else is getting/ giving.

Heatherbell1978 · 08/10/2023 07:38

We don't qualify for it anymore but did for a while when DS was a baby. I spent it and have never once felt like I should have saved it instead. It was useful at the time. I now save for both kids and probably will have a 'car and driving lessons' pot for them at 18 but nothing to do with child benefit. I don't speak to my friends about things like this but I imagine most don't qualify for it anyway.

I'm sure if I sat down and calculated all the money I drank in my youth or spent in Topshop or spent whilst travelling, it would fund my kids through Uni. But that was then, this is now. You need to calm down.

flowellaben · 08/10/2023 07:38

Child benefit is there to help with the costs of bringing up your children, not as a savings plan!

If you can afford to put some money in children's accounts for their future uni costs/house deposit, fair enough. Some people do and others don't.

Tbh, it didn't occur to us to have separate savings accounts for our children when they were growing up, but we didn't realise that until it was a bit late. Fortunately we have still been able to help with uni costs and house deposits from our own savings.

Hufflepods · 08/10/2023 07:38

@BabySharkDooDooDooDooDooDooDooDoo *Exactly!! People are working not receiving any benefit and unable to gift their kids £20k.

Are people really keeping benefits to give as a present? Why are they claiming if they don’t need it?*

Whats the difference between saying you spend CB on nappies and uniforms and scrape to save £80 a month of your income vs saving the CB though? If you are saying CB shouldn’t be given to anyone who can save anything then it’s basically an unemployment benefit. Even UC has a saving scheme which suggests plenty of people on it are still able to put a small amount away.

Beezknees · 08/10/2023 07:39

I've spent mine. That's what it's for. Same way I spend the child maintenance and UC I get on top of my salary.

TrashedSofa · 08/10/2023 07:39

BabySharkDooDooDooDooDooDooDooDoo · 08/10/2023 07:33

Exactly!! People are working not receiving any benefit and unable to gift their kids £20k.

Are people really keeping benefits to give as a present? Why are they claiming if they don’t need it?

Show quote history

We don't save it, but the why claim it if you don't need it bemuses me. Surely it's obvious why- because it's money! The 'need' concept is a very nebulous one anyway, where are we drawing the line?

Blackcoffee1 · 08/10/2023 07:39

Btw for those who don’t know - the point where you lose child benefit altogether is around £60k a year.

From £50k it’s greatly reduced.

A £60k salary after tax, student loan and (a crap, legal minimum) pension reduction is £3,000 a month. I don’t think that’s rich, after mortgage, childcare etc are deducted.

Meanwhile a couple can earn £49k each, be on basically £100k joint, and still get child benefit. It’s calculated in a very unfair way.

M4J4 · 08/10/2023 07:40

It all started off by a colleague casually mentioning in conversation that she had a 'huge pot of money' from 18 years of CHB savings to give to her DS, she said it will completely change his start in to adult life.

Is she just going to hand over this money? He will probably blow it all on crap, 18yos aren’t known for being savvy.

The most important thing is your dc get a good education and get a good job.

With a good job, and living at home, you can save £20k in one year.

Once dc are in a good career, you’ll look back and laugh that you were so worried abut this.

TrashedSofa · 08/10/2023 07:40

Hufflepods · 08/10/2023 07:35

@Stravaig *We clearly need tighten to tighten the rules about who gets CB!

It's supposed to help those struggling with the costs of raising children, exactly as you have used it. Well done, OP.*

Incorrect, it started as a universal benefit to act as a tax benefit for families. It was only capped in 2013 and at that point £50k was a hell of a lot more than it is today.

Yep! And it was clear at the time what the intention was: to turn it into something only for low income people, but they weren't honest enough to admit that.

Skyglimmer · 08/10/2023 07:40

My two our young but our CB goes to our pot as is easily spent on things they need each month like clothes, shoes etc. We can't afford to save it every month and I am sure most people can't either.

Mamai90 · 08/10/2023 07:42

I've never heard of anyone saving it for their kids 18th.

Maybe I mix in less privileged circles!

Most 18 year olds would just blow it on rubbish surely? I know I would have. They'd be better off giving it to them on their 30th 😆

Lordofmyflies · 08/10/2023 07:43

There is absolutely no shame in spending the benefit on your child - that is its purpose.
Likewise, I see no shame in saving it to assist your child through university if that is what they want. They are classed as adults at 18, yet their university loans are still dependant on parental income. Personally, I did manage to save the benefit money monthly from birth, topped up with a couple of child trust fund bonuses from the government. Thankfully, it matured into a good amount which DC are down drawing down to pay for Uni.

lemonraincoat · 08/10/2023 07:43

I've never heard of someone saving CB for their children to spend later.

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