To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

[FullMoomin]

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

For those questioning why, university maintenance loans are means tested, if your combined income is over £65k (£33k a year each is not a high income) you will be expected to find circa £5k a year todays money to support your child, saving some each month for 18 years is the only way most of us could afford this. Mine do not have access to their money, i control it

@NewYorkBride id hardly day £60k (which is roughly the threshold) is a great wage given the current COL crisis, sadly.

the threshold hasn’t moved with the cost of living/ inflation so a lot of people are now missing out on it when it’s intended for lower/ middle income

No way would I give an 18 year old a lump sum at that age.

you really need to calm yourself down. I have had it for almost 2 years and it’s gone solely on my daughters needs right now. In my head I’m thinking I’ll start saving at some point for her but there’s always something she needs right now and not in 16 years time. You need to stop this guilt. I didn’t wake up on my 18th to £20k and I bet you now not many on here did they worked for what they’ve got many without a handout from parents.

@50lessfat I hadn't heard that before about the threshold for prescriptions for students. I've looked at the guidance and it suggests if you have under £6K of assets or savings it just means you apply via the online pilot for the exemption, otherwise it seems to say you can still apply for help using the paper based application system if you have saving or investments of under £16K. Do you know if there is a taper of support that is available between £6-16K? https://www.nhsbsa.nhs.uk/nhs-low-income-scheme

I don't think the average household saves it. We don't even qualify for it.

On mumsnet, people are perfect, so you'll hear a lot have saved it when actually I highly doubt that.

I got zero money from my parents and still managed to buy a house etc. They supported me instead with a roof over my head until I needed it (moved out at 25 having saved money for a deposit) and lots of love.

We don’t get CB and never have. If people are able to save CB they shouldn’t be receiving it. As a tax payer I am annoyed that people can afford to save it and still receive it. Since it is funded by the tax payer it should only be given to families that really need it and have used it as you have. Please don’t feel guilty, you have not squandered the money but instead used it for it’s intended purpose.

You have only done what the vast majority of people do. I spent mine on necessities at the time and I don't know anyone who saved it.

So despite people pointing out that you spent the CB on what you should have spent it on, to benefit your children, you're still insisting you will panic about it. Really?

i thought the thread was going to be about an evil ex having spent it online gambling.

This is not worth a panic attack.

You needed to spend yours and so you did. They didn't need it for day to day spending and so have saved it. Neither is wrong.

Is your upset actually driven by wondering if you did need it? Have you saved other money? If you truely know you needed to spend it on nappies then that's absolutely the right thing to have done. If you really know in parallel you've been wasting £20/week on cigarettes or wine or magazines or scratch cards then I can see where your guilt is coming from.

Either way there's nothing to do about it now but perhaps look at the budget and see if you can start to save a bit?

I think if you can afford to save it, you shouldn't be getting it. You used it for what it's meant for. Your friends have used funds that should, in my opinion, be used to help those who need it, or to fund public services. Not a nice little nest egg for their kids.

@FullMoomin could you have afforded to do the things such as clubs etc for your kids if you hadn’t got the child benefit? If not then it’s not been a waste.

I’ve never heard of people saving it. With the current cost of living I highly doubt many in receipt of it can. We can’t afford to save for our children. Some might make sacrifices elsewhere to do so but I’d rather they had a certain quality of life and opportunities through childhood (swimming lessons, trips, etc). I was given a large sum when I was 18. It got frittered away supporting me through uni and a low paid job for the few years after that. My brothers did the same. I don’t think it’s particularly helpful to gift young people money unless it’s for something specific, like a house.

You haven't done anything bad by spending it and nor have they by saving it. They're both legitimate uses of the funds.

I never thought of saving child benefit nor could I used it for what’s it’s meant to be for like yourself ! If they could afford to save it each month then maybe they shouldn’t have got it in the first place !

Its a lot of money but an 18 year old would blow that in a few months if they wasn’t careful rather than invest in something.

Child benefit is to be spent on raising your kids. Don’t feel bad. That’s what the money is/was for!

your kids will benefit more from having a nicer childhood (without a super stressed mum wondering how she’d ’ pay for their stuff) than a lump sum at 18.
ignore the folks around you!
i have a (much smaller) amount of savings for each child and our mortgage advisor actually advised me to take some out and put it in an account in my name so that they don’t get a big lump sum at 18 and instead it’s used for their uni costs etc (so they still get the benefit of the money but without them being able to just spend the whole thing). Her opinion was its not a good idea to hand them a big lump sum.

This is why it should be means tested now 🤔

This.
It's called child benefit.
Not adult benefit

I think you’re catastraphising for no reason. There are always going to be people that have managed to save large amounts for their children, wether it be child benefit or not. My children are 7 and 3 and I use the child benefit for the purpose of what it is given to us for - paying for the childrens stuff every month! Without it i wouldn’t be able to, so they won’t be getting it all paid to them when they hit 18. They do have savings accounts and I try and put the odd £20 in there but it’s not a regular thing. But for me it’s the difference between saving it or eating that week so it can’t be helped.

I actually think kids get far too much handed to them on a plate now. When I grew up I had to find a job, pay for my driving lessons and save up to buy my first car. Once I was driving I was then able to go to university. So many kids get everything paid for now and expect to have their first car given to them etc. I won’t be able to afford to do that with mine, but hopefully they will be brought up with a good work effort and know that they have to work to get nice things. It’s a good lesson to learn imo.

Child Benefit in Ireland is universal, every child receives it, so I understand where you are coming from OP as a lot of my friends are able to save theirs but so far we haven't been able to.

Firstly, it's a benefit to help parents with the additional cost of raising a child. That is what it is there for!! You weren't blowing it in getting hair extensions for yourself or treating yourself to a spa day, you were using it to give your children things they needed! (I presume)

Secondly, there is no way in hell I would hand an 18 year old a lump sum like that! Madness.

OP, think yourself lucky you got child benefit at all.

You don’t have to be wealthy (one partner earning £60k - doesn’t stretch very far these days) to not be eligible for Child Benefit at all.

I agree with what others have said: if you can afford to save it, you shouldn't be getting it.

The suggestions about not being able to get it if you can afford to save are pretty bizarre. CB is means tested already, though stupidly, and people have wildly varying basic expenses.

Absolutely this. That is not what CB is for and shows that these people clearly didn’t need it.

Like everyone has said you used the money the it was intended - OP were you in a position to save any money for your DC? I'd say better they have a good childhood and not have had to go without. In a any case for your friends who put that away and matched it noone of them (or their partners) must be earning over £50k where you start having to give it back?? By all means save but if you're going to keep saying for them as adults then (rent while at Uni etc,,) is that not worth just as much

Your friends shouldn’t take it if they don’t need it, you don’t have to apply for CB.

I use it for food and heating and clothes, activities etc. I’m sure that it costs me more than my CB a month to raise my DC.

It’s very irresponsible to give an 18 year old a large sun of money. Let your DC earn their own money and not have it handed on a plate.