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Original poster

To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

1000 replies

FullMoomin · 08/10/2023 05:10

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

OP posts:
AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 08/10/2023 07:44

Stravaig · 08/10/2023 07:30

We clearly need tighten to tighten the rules about who gets CB!

It's supposed to help those struggling with the costs of raising children, exactly as you have used it. Well done, OP.

It is NOT there to provide a lump sum to already well off children at age 18. Your friends are exploitative shits, leeching off society, including from those far poorer than them.

Exactly. If these people didn't claim it, it has the potential to be increased.

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/10/2023 07:44

Stravaig · 08/10/2023 07:30

We clearly need tighten to tighten the rules about who gets CB!

It's supposed to help those struggling with the costs of raising children, exactly as you have used it. Well done, OP.

It is NOT there to provide a lump sum to already well off children at age 18. Your friends are exploitative shits, leeching off society, including from those far poorer than them.

Absolutely this! Jeezo, I can’t believe someone is on here feeling bad because they didn’t save CB for their kids. If you could save it, you don’t need it…!

Didimum · 08/10/2023 07:45

You’re hugely overreacting. You could save any random, periodic amount of money and save X amount in X years. Why ‘panic’ over this one?

JC89 · 08/10/2023 07:45

It is there to be spent on the children while they are growing up, as you have done - if it was meant to be a savings pot why would the eldest child be getting more than the younger children? If you can afford to now you could start saving for the children but I wouldn't link it to child benefit or be aiming for £20000! And if you can't afford it you can't afford it - use it now while they are fully dependent on you.

countrygirl99 · 08/10/2023 07:45

Uggtrending · 08/10/2023 07:04

@countrygirl99 I just want to share a bit of perspective here because I think some posters you included are being quite harsh and judgy.

I started saving recently my CB for DS with the COL I am worried, I also a single parent, I earn a low wage (no high flyer), I do not want my child to have the life I had. Obviously I do not deprive my own Son of anything due to saving. Has it not OCCURED to you that just MAYBE some of us have far better MONEY MANAGEMENT?? It's presumptuous of you to assume otherwise based on so little details. It's very sour 🍇 just because some don't qualify.....

She said ALL her friends. Some I can easily believe but not all.

Ffsmakeitstop · 08/10/2023 07:45

LordEmsworth · 08/10/2023 05:14

Umm, as a taxpayer I am very glad you have used CB in the way it is intended. Good for you for using it to benefit your children when they needed it.

Your friends should give it back to the state of they didn't need it. It's not meant to provide a lump sum at 18.

I agree. This is why governments want to stop it for families over a certain income level. If they can afford to save it they clearly didn't need it.

Wanttobekind · 08/10/2023 07:45

Oh for goodness sake, you haven’t let your children down. You have appropriately used money given by the state to help pay for exactly the things that you have used this for. Your colleagues may be in the nice position that they can save £100 a month but that is not what it’s for. They are the ones that should be looking at themselves and whether they should be claiming it.
You are massively over reacting though, so chill. It’s not exactly like you’ve been carrying out benefit fraud and been caught.

Riverlee · 08/10/2023 07:46

I didn’t save child benefit either, but used it for everyday living costs, which is what irs meant for.

Gypsum5 · 08/10/2023 07:46

It was once called Family Allowance, this came about when the men went to the pub straight from work & spent all their wages leaving the women & kids without food.

echt · 08/10/2023 07:46

Yep! And it was clear at the time what the intention was: to turn it into something only for low income people, but they weren't honest enough to admit that

Do you have any evidence for this?

Cactuslove · 08/10/2023 07:46

I haven't saved mine I'm a single parent if that changes anything. The thing is every time I save anything in the kids account... something happens like my 5yr old wanting to start football, rugby, drama club etc or camping in our tent. I'd much rather they have an enriched childhood than a lump sum later on. It would be great to give them both but if I had to choose I'd always pick to make our lives better now.

Also, my parents never saved it. They helped me in other ways... like they said whatever I saved for a car they would match it, or i lived with them whilst at uni, they lent me money that i pay back monthly rather than taking out a loan etc so there are other ways to help your kids later if you are able to.

Floooooof · 08/10/2023 07:47

Ours goes into our joint account which gets used for food, bills, kids clothes and school stuff etc....we can't afford not too.

Presumably if you had that amount left over every month then you do have the savings in a roundabout way?

speakout · 08/10/2023 07:47

I am smiling at the idea of giving an 18 year old a lump sum.

Like you OP I used CB for my children, it helped buy them shoes, clothes, food.

Several of my DSs friends were given lump sums at 18.One was given the saved CB, another was given £28,000 in inheritance from his grandfather.
In 4 months the £28,000 was spent. He spent it on alcohol, cigarettes, tattoos, holidays for himself and his friends.

Giving an 18 year old a "nice big money pot" is not always the wisest thing to do- you have no control over how that money is spent.
If the money is saved in their name many accounts will allow them full access to funds at 16.
I have saved for my children, but in my name- they are young adults now and I have supported them in deposits for flats, helping them through university, car purchase etc.

Be wary of saving in an account that has your child's name on it. At 18 their brains are not fully formed. Even good kids will make silly decisions.

G21 · 08/10/2023 07:49

You’ve done nothing wrong. That’s what child benefit is for!!

M4J4 · 08/10/2023 07:49

Stravaig · 08/10/2023 07:30

We clearly need tighten to tighten the rules about who gets CB!

It's supposed to help those struggling with the costs of raising children, exactly as you have used it. Well done, OP.

It is NOT there to provide a lump sum to already well off children at age 18. Your friends are exploitative shits, leeching off society, including from those far poorer than them.

We’re not entitled to child benefit but I don’t think your attitude is fair.

Some people are better at saving, they shouldn’t be penalised for that.

My mum’s only income is her pension and pension credit and some PIP, but she is very frugal so doesn’t spend much, should that be taken away as well?

I think the friend is a twat for talking about the ‘huge pot’ awaiting her son, but I don’t think she was wrong in saving it. Some people are savers and that’s fine within reason.

Folklore9074 · 08/10/2023 07:49

I don’t know if this changes as your kids stop needing expensive child care in the early years but most people I know use child benefit to pay for things for their kids.

stayflufft · 08/10/2023 07:50

Please don’t feel bad. I haven’t even claimed for my youngest yet and she’s 4! I had every intention of saving it like your friends but instead it has been used to top up my earnings and everything I have goes on them anyway - they have a house to live in, new clothes when they need them, shoes that fit, toys, money for outings etc etc

BarbaraofSeville · 08/10/2023 07:50

TrashedSofa · 08/10/2023 07:27

The suggestions about not being able to get it if you can afford to save are pretty bizarre. CB is means tested already, though stupidly, and people have wildly varying basic expenses.

This.

For many, the difference between being able to afford to save CB and not could be due to differences in spending such as driving a cheaper car, less expensive mobile phone or TV contracts, shopping in a cheaper supermarket or having fewer takeaways/meals/lunches/coffees out, less expensive grooming routines etc etc because some people make their money go a lot further than others.

Leggytigberk · 08/10/2023 07:50

Woman: Adult female with an amazing ability to find new ways of beating themselves up.
Did you use it for booze, did you buy expensive lingerie, whilst children had the arse out of their jeans?
FFS It is supposed to be spent for the benefit of the DC when they are children
don't feel guilty about. Food clothing outings not setting up a Trust Fund.

AndrewGarfieldsLaptop · 08/10/2023 07:50

If you can afford to save it, you shouldn't be having it. You have used it for exactly what it's meant for, your children.

Pockettopic · 08/10/2023 07:50

You clearly needed to spend it. I also spend it. But I have a savings account for them. It won’t be huge though. Cb rules changed so higher earners are not entitled to it. Probably for the reason you stated -people saving it who didn’t need it.

Passepartoute · 08/10/2023 07:51

This is ridiculous. You'd have been panicking much more if you hadn't been able to feed and clothe your kids.

Mamai90 · 08/10/2023 07:51

duchiebun · 08/10/2023 06:33

The way CB provision is calculated is wrong and unfair. Households bringing in nearly 100k don’t need it.

I think it should be universal as it was in the past & as it is in many countries.

Why?

It's already being abused by wealthier people. We shouldn't be widening the divide even more.

AndrewGarfieldsLaptop · 08/10/2023 07:51

Leggytigberk · 08/10/2023 07:50

Woman: Adult female with an amazing ability to find new ways of beating themselves up.
Did you use it for booze, did you buy expensive lingerie, whilst children had the arse out of their jeans?
FFS It is supposed to be spent for the benefit of the DC when they are children
don't feel guilty about. Food clothing outings not setting up a Trust Fund.

Love this response

Philomenacunk1 · 08/10/2023 07:51

child benefit is supposed to be used to buy essentials for the child! Those who have managed to save it all obviously didn’t need it in the first place!

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