To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

[FullMoomin]

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

Yes this.

If you wish to start saving it now you will still have a nice chunk to give them.

Only wealthy people could afford to put it away which is perhaps why the cap was put in place.

The cap doesn't mean people who earn above it are wealthy. Not with stagnant wages & the cost of housing.

@pinksheetss but isn't that by default means tested because at a certain threshold there is no point claiming it?

Its money to help with the cost of raising a child, not to put in a savings pot for them.

It’s not intended as a benefit for saving but to help with the costs of raising a child which is beneficial to the state. Your friends have been fortunate to be able to save that over the years, you spent it for the purpose it was intended I wouldn’t beat yourself up.
Also I received a healthy but small lump sum at 18 (inheritance) to give me a good start in my young adult years however I spent it on nights out, partying, travel and on nothing particular useful which other than some good memories was a waste. Lump sums of Money at a young age aren’t always sensible.

As a tax payer who does not get CB, I’m actually frustrated that CB is not being used for it’s purpose and is being saved.

We don't get it either but I doubt many actually save it.

I'm didn't save cb nor do I know anyone who did. But my mum died when my dd turned 18 and 20. She left them 10kesch plus I use to save their birthday money when they were little and put a bit away when my grandad died so about 13k in total. The 20 year old bought driving lessons and a car and it supplemented a gap year. The 18 year old blew it on make up and hoodies .

If you can afford it you could try to put £20 a week away and when one buys a house give them half (probably be a few thousand by then)

I have never saved a penny of the child benefit paid to me and I don't feel remotely panicked or guilty about it.

If your friends have been squirrelling theirs away for pits to give to their children, then they should count themselves lucky that they're able to do that.

You've used it as it was intended. You should feel no guilt or shame or any need to try and compensate for it.

Look at it as a weekly/monthly thing and see how easily and justifiably it's used.

OP, Don't be daft.

I've spent 15years of child benefit. Like you, I have spent it on improving my child's life, feeding him nutritious food, buying him warm clothes, decent shoes that fit, taking him places to broaden their mind or paying for school trips so they can be an educated and equal part of their community.

In other words, I, like you, have spent it as it was intended, to give them a happy and comfortable childhood.

That is infinitely more important than a £20,000 cheque at 18.

@countrygirl99 I just want to share a bit of perspective here because I think some posters you included are being quite harsh and judgy.

I started saving recently my CB for DS with the COL I am worried, I also a single parent, I earn a low wage (no high flyer), I do not want my child to have the life I had. Obviously I do not deprive my own Son of anything due to saving. Has it not OCCURED to you that just MAYBE some of us have far better MONEY MANAGEMENT?? It's presumptuous of you to assume otherwise based on so little details. It's very sour 🍇 just because some don't qualify.....

It might be different now but I just applied for my CB for baby. DH makes around 60k so he would have to pay a fee equal to what I was being paid so I opted out of the payment (bizarre way of doing it imo, why not just means test on household income?) Of course we can still put money away for our LO bit o don't know anyone that saves up there CB. Certainly me and DH did not have this and are doing OK. Also agree with PP not ideal to had an 18 y/o that kind of money.

I don't understand OP. How are you feeling that you "could have" saved it? The things you mention spending it on are essentials so you could not have saved it.

Not everyone can afford to save it, I did because I knew university is expensive so they both had circa £12k to cover the parental contribution element, they were not in control of that money though, I gave them it when rent was due!

Is this the new version of "my friend is a benefits thief"?

I’m in Ireland where a lot of ppl seem to put aside the CB if they can. It’s 140 per month per child here so that’s just over 30k per child without interest. It’s also not means tested here so they can do with it what they like. It’s useful for university fees (3k per year) and accommodation expenses.

Oh and we didn't earn close to £100k as i couldn't work ft due to sen. We lost it when dd 2 turned 16 on income grounds

Exactly.

My sister saved her CB up for the DC until she stopped getting it when the £100k cap came in
We have never qualified for it

This!! Sounds like they weren’t in need of child benefit. Many households don’t received child benefit, your child won’t be the only one not receiving £20k, that’s for sure.

it is not meant for saving
if you have enough money coming in to save it that is something else but it is meant to be spent on your dc

They shouldn't have been getting child benefit then if they were so well off they could afford to save it all 🤷🏼‍♀️
this is a ridiculous non problem. Child benefit is for parents to spend on the cost of raising children, not a nest egg from the government for your kids when they turn 18.

You have used CB exactly for its purpose. The other alternative was that you went into debt providing for your children and saving this pot for them. With interest the debt would be a lot more than £20k, even at this point.

DH’s income takes us over the threshold for CB but when we did claim it, we never saved it. It went on just managing monthly finances. We have no intention of setting up a savings account for DD to give her a lump sum when she’s 18. I had a small lump sum of about £3-4k when I was 18 and I bought a car but spent the rest on nights out, travelling at uni. I don’t regret what I spent it on but I’m glad it wasn’t a bigger pot because I’d have absolutely pissed it away. If you can save, save. Don’t put it in your children’s name. Keep it in yours so it helps you but you can help your children as you can so you can put some towards a car but if they want to go travelling, they get a job at 16 and save for that.

I don’t feel guilty about not saving ours - I agree it’s quite a shocking figure when you add it up but if you’re spending how it’s supposed to be spent then that’s the main thing

things are fairly tight in our house at the moment and I literally diarise when it’s due to be paid and do the food shopping with it. My son never goes without on things but it is used to top up our household income and be spent on essentials.

my husband lost his parents when he was 7. He therefore got a “lump sum” at 18 which he opted not to touch until we were buying a house at 22. We feel incredibly fortunate to have had it, it was essentially our first house deposit but we always say that we’d rather have saved up ourselves and him still have his parents.

in this scenario, you’re doing well for your kids by giving them a decent childhood and you shouldn’t feel guilty for that.

A dad on a great wage?

you need to meet less swanky people op

@Neverintime that's the thing though about benefits. You can't just save what you want whilst claiming benefits. It's a bit of a poverty trap. Quite frankly I wouldn't even give it a second thought if someone told me they were saving XYZ for there child. Everybody's setup differs maybe some have finicial help from family? Childcare once a week from family? An ex who pays a decent amount of child maintainance? Maybe the mum is doing her best?