To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

[FullMoomin]

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

@Sallyh87 But you understand that a lot of hard working people that aren't eligible for child benefit wouldn't be in a position to give their kids massive lump sums at 18 either, therefore, without being harsh, it's really irritating that that is what your friends are using it for

If someone isn’t in receipt of child benefit they are earning over 60k, why is it irrating that someone earning less and recovering less over all including CB is able to save? Maybe the higher income family should look at their expenses.

The issue with CB is the single parent element, but why does your sympathy seemingly lie with families earning over the threshold and living outside their means?

The relevance is that a single parent has one salary coming in and a couple have two!

@WhatapityWapiti exactly and OP needs to give thanks and be grateful she has 2 incomes! Unlike a single parent.

This thread is really about the fact our society pays a child benefit for the vast majority of children, that should be used to benefit the child. Some parents are poor and need that 20 quid a week to to buy basics like nappies, others can afford to save a small amount for their kids when they are older.

i don’t understand the resentment to those who are able to save for their child, my issue is with those who don’t spend it on their kids, but spend it on themselves, and the kids go without.

There is plenty of them too.

Look at the lunch voucher scheme during covid, kids going hungry and parents trading them and down Tesco buying booze and fags .

child benefit has never ever been a benefit that is purely for those who can’t feed or clothe their own children, it’s always been a wide benefit for most children to benefit from.

as long as it’s the child that benefits from that money , for me, it’s all good. It’s fantastic that parents who need it have financial support to feed or clothe their child and it’s fantastic that others are enabled to save a small amount weekly for their child’s future. Others disagree and think a child whose parents can afford nappies, uniforms or food should get nothing.

the ops issue is wider though, and it’s about her own circumstances versus her friends, and she fails to recognise where she is better off than many others.

Sounds like child benefit needs to be stopped if that’s what it’s being used for, why should the tax payer fund 20k gifts to 18 year olds?

(Obviously I know that this isn’t really how most people spend their CB).

I've spent mine too. Never been in a position to save it. Been spent on the DC mind.

It's meant to help with your child's costs as they are growing up, not a savings pot for when they are 18, I'm glad they stopped giving it to more well off people, I don't want my taxes used in this way

If they could afford to save the CB then they'd have saved for their children anyway. It's what it is, children in better off families get a financial leg up.

I don't know anyone who saved it, but it definitely helped us through some very tough years so my dcs got the benefit of bills getting paid.

Child benefit is to help bring up your child. It is not for saving.

If you can afford to save it, you shouldn't be getting it.

@RuthW if you weren't meant to be able to save on a dual income household of 98k + CB then then universal credit threshold would be much higher...

I don't save ours, and I don't think any of my friends are either. I have always had it put aside for things the kids need or will benefit them.

As babies it was nappies, formula etc. Now it's swimming lessons, school uniform and trips. Imo that's what it is meant for. Not savings. However if that's what people want to do with it I'm not going to lose sleep over it either.

I wouldn't save child benefit to give my children a lump sum but those who think people shouldn't receive children benefit if they are able to save are being ridiculous. What about saving to give them money if they go to university for example?

It is being saved for the child though. Most will need money if they go to university for example.

If your colleague and friends could afford to save it over the years, then they probably shouldn't have claimed it in the first place, as they clearly didn't need it.

So anyone who receives child benefit isn't allowed to have saving?🙄

That’s what we did. But it’s clear many people think that child benefit should only be for the most desperately in need families who can’t afford to feed their kids or buy nappies so need that 20 quid.

its not how we operate as a society for children. I suspect folks are just outraged that some kids are getting financial support from their parents. as they hit 18 or older, when theirs aren’t, so see it as unfair and want it removed.

to be honest, many of those families saving for their kids would do so anyway, it would just be tighter, only a small percentage of those who get child benefit are so in need they can’t buy nappies without it. I suspect many of those complaining were still able to spend money on themselves.

@coffeeaddict77 I get your point about people who claim should still be able to have savings, and you're right. I just think if you're in a position like the ops friends and saving it all for the child when they reach adulthood, is that really what its intended for?

@Sallyh87 I just think if you're in a position like the ops friends and saving it all for the child when they reach adulthood, is that really what its intended for?

Where does it say that it isn't intended for that though?
The initial concept of CB was universal.

Absolutely no details on it state that it needs to be spent on bare essentials for a child.

What is the difference between buying nappies, school uniform etc and saving £80 a month separately? The threshold for CB is not the same as the universal credit threshold for a reason, surely that in itself says it isn't only for total basics? The upper limit for the full amount is a 98k household income. Anyone who can't save on that isn't better than those who do.

We save for DS, I don't get CB before anyone kicks off. Back to the point, that money isn't busy to give him a lump when he's 18. It's in my name, I can afford his costs now I don't know what the future will hold. Should I lose my job, become ill, my earning capacity or DHs reduces in some way. That money will be used for things he needs then. If he gets to adult hood and we're still financially ok, then that money gives me a pot to help him with driving lessons, a first car, towards a home. These are all things DH and I never had any help with because our parents couldn't afford it (and that's fine). I just don't get why if you save for your child is automatically for a pot they can just blow when they turn eighteen.... also those saving CB might be ok when the children are babies,babies are fairly cheap, teenagers not so much, why should there be a time limit on when CB is spent?

I think it was originally meant to compensate for the extra costs of having a child. Children still often cost money even when they reach adulthood if they though into higher education,.

But you can't categorise all single parents as low earners like that.
My mother brought me up as a single parent and achieved far more for herself in terms of salary income as a single parent than many couples did that she knew.
I have 2 single parent friends and I can assure you that they earn considerably higher salaries by themselves than mine and DH's combined incomes, as both of them have achieved extremely successful careers in private sectors.
A 3rd single mother friend owns her own business and pays herself a far higher salary than mine and DH's combined salaries.
So please refrain from feeding in to the stereotype that all single parents are low earners and are financially worse off than other households who have 2 incomes coming in! It completely and utterly depends on what those incomes are.
Also, please don't make the assumption that both people within a relationship or marriage are both working and both bringing in an income - that's simply not true, as there are many couples where only 1 person works in a job and gets paid for it.
Likewise, there are many couples where neither person is able to work, therefore despite being part of a couple, between them there is no paid income from a job. This can be for myriad reasons.
The relevance is how much money is coming in to the household each month, not how many adults live in that household.

Yeah but with two adults in a household you have double the earning potential than one person has so it’s still a relevant consideration. You haven’t answered the question about why your friends, whom you met at university so who must have a similar level of education, are so much better off than you. I asked if you were public sector and they were private? You referred to one of them having a holiday home they did not buy with salary so sounds like family money?

And now you are talking about how successful your own mother’s career was. In essence this thread is not about what you did with child benefit, it’s about you feeling you haven’t earned enough money generally. But you’re not really explaining how you ended up in this position and they didn’t. It’s not something to be ashamed of if, for example, they sold their souls to the banking sector and you are a nurse!

If they have save every penny aren’t they earnIng too much to get it anyway? I don’t get any! Don’t feel bad at all, you used it how it’s meant to be used!

I don't know anyone who can afford to save it. If they can, they're usually earning too much to receive it. As many have said already, it's for helping with the cost of having children. You can't change what's done so there's no point feeling bad about it. I was never given a financial gift from my parents and my adult kids just got the contents of their savings accounts when they turned 18 - and it wasn't anywhere near £20k! Nice if you can do it but doesn't make you a bad parent if you don't.

Comparison is the thief of joy. You spent the money as it was intended- to support your child and provide activities etc. You must have some extremely rich friends if they could afford to never dip into that money and saved every penny - (no doubt some of them will be the very ones complaining about lower loans for uni as they hand their kids £20k!!) You have done absolutely nothing wrong , your friends’ children are fortunate ( presuming they also had the treats and care your child did) but life is not an even playing field and there will equally be many other children in the country for whom all this money went on food and basics ( and parental treats!) I have worked with many children who have never been to the seaside or countryside- let alone on hols or to regular clubs. A bit of perspective is needed!!