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Original poster

To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

1000 replies

FullMoomin · 08/10/2023 05:10

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

OP posts:
99victoria · 08/10/2023 11:41

I have 3 children- we were really hard up when they were growing up and the CB always got spent. As they grew we got a bit more comfortable and I was able to save a bit and gave them each £1000 on their 18th birthday. They are now all in their 30s- graduates, working in professional jobs and homeowners. Your children can make their own way - they don't NEED £20k to build a good life

HelloGoodby · 08/10/2023 11:41

It’s won’t be that much. CHB only went up to £24 this April.
We had years were it didn’t go up at all.
I hope some aren’t earning over £50000. Or they might get a nasty surprise. Especially as benefits like medical/ car are included in salary.

NotAllWhoWanderAreLost · 08/10/2023 11:45

Is this for real?!
you used the CHB for what you’re meant to.
Also, how crass of your friends to sit talking about money like that.
It probably won’t do their DC any good in the long run because getting a big whack of money like that isn’t real life for the majority.
Cut yourself some slack OP.

NotAllWhoWanderAreLost · 08/10/2023 11:45

Just what I was thinking! Guessing if they are able to save it all away that they perhaps are…

NetZeroZealot · 08/10/2023 11:49

There's a ridiculous assumption by many on this thread that those of us who saved money for your children during their childhood present them with a no-strings attached lump sum on the day of their 18th birthday.

And then the child blows it all on drink, drugs and partying.

Well it doesn't work like that. Some will have used it for expenses like driving lessons, Uni living costs, etc. I handed over money to one DC on condition that they open a Lifetime ISA which can only be spent on a house deposit or pension.

Whether or not is is CB, it all comes out of the same household income pot.

SquirrelFeeder · 08/10/2023 11:50

I'm a widowed mother who is also severely disabled and unable to work. Child benefit gets spent on everything you've spent yours on! I had zero choice. I get ours 4 weekly and as it's not a monthly amount, it usually is paid a couple weeks before my proper pay day - meaning I'm broke and bloody need it! Reading this has made me feel guilty but I know how much I've needed it and will continue to need it

SquirrelFeeder · 08/10/2023 11:53

FullMoomin · 08/10/2023 05:29

Sorry for swearing.
I don't usually swear! Highly stressed since calculating this!!!
It all started off by a colleague casually mentioning in conversation that she had a 'huge pot of money' from 18 years of CHB savings to give to her DS, she said it will completely change his start in to adult life.
I nearly fell off my chair when she told me how much she'd accumulated from saving CHB.
I had never even thought to save my CHB. I'd just always been incredibly grateful for it every month. Each month for 12 years that it's gone in to my account I've received it and thought "Thank you, I am so grateful for this".
So I asked around a few friends and said "My colleague told me she's giving a lump sum of 18 years of CHB to her DS...." and all my friends save theirs too. One said "Yeah, it adds up nicely doesn't it, we've got ours in a savings account and the interest is helping too now". Another said "Our DC will get double that because we've always matched the CHB", and everyone else has just agreed that they've saved theirs too.
Every one of my friends looked a mixture of shocked and dismayed when I said I haven't saved ours!
I've been suffering high level anxiety ever since!!! I really feel I've let my DC down.

Our DC will get double that because we've always matched the CHB

The people who said this to you are bloody scammers! If they're earning enough to match CHB^^ then they're very likely above the earnings limit and are committing fraud

SprinkleOfSunak · 08/10/2023 11:53

It had been my intention to save all the child benefit too, and gift it to my children later on in life (when the payments stop), but we have had so many awful unplanned events we have had to use the money for. We now need to use it for helping us to buy the basics every month, thanks to the cost of living crisis.

I feel awful too, as my friends all have savings for their children, but I have to tell myself how shit life would be without child benefit.

WhateverMate · 08/10/2023 11:54

Anyone else wondering if this dramatic nonsense is from a government researcher, trying to gauge whether parents actually need their child benefit or if they can afford to save it?

🙄🙄

IsItThough · 08/10/2023 11:55

Don't panic
Lovely for your friend's children, but it is FAR from the norm
Most people need to use it to feed, clothe and house their children

Scalottia · 08/10/2023 11:55

If someone can afford to save the CB, they didn't need it in the first place. It's for taking care of your child, not saving it to give to your child. You have done the right thing OP.

SquirrelFeeder · 08/10/2023 11:55

pinksheetss · 08/10/2023 05:41

It's £96 a month (in Scotland anyway) so yes OP is right in it being 20k
Silly to come on and make a post that's unhelpful to OP especially when you don't have the right info

Every 4 weeks not monthly

SquirrelFeeder · 08/10/2023 11:56

@FullMoomin OP it's every 4 weeks not monthly.

Snowpatrolling · 08/10/2023 11:56

Don’t panic, mine has been spent on food, it’s part of my weekly food budget!
i dont know anyone who saves it but then my friends are all in the same position as me.
nothing to get upset over

Iamanicelady · 08/10/2023 11:58

I don’t know if anyone has spotted this but your calculations are wrong OP. Child benefit is paid every 4 weeks so that’s 13 payments a year. With the child benefit going up each year, it probably works out more like just over £19600. Not that that really matters as saving it is bloody ridiculous. Think of all the times you would have had to go without because you had to save it. Sorry, DC but you can’t have [insert item] because I’m saving the money for when you are 18 🙄

To have spent 12 years of child benefit?
SquirrelFeeder · 08/10/2023 12:00

Uggtrending · 08/10/2023 06:52

@LordEmsworth I cannot stand bitter self righteous opinions like yours. What someone chooses to save or not is quite frankly none of your business. If someone chooses to save £20 odd pound a week good for them!

@LordEmsworth Is BANG ON! Nothing to do with bitterness. Projection!

Condo · 08/10/2023 12:00

It is meant to be spent on children not saved.

SquirrelFeeder · 08/10/2023 12:01

Kaill · 08/10/2023 06:55

If it’s any consolation my DC don’t even get CB. We aren’t rich, but DH earns slightly over the threshold. So my DC have nothing.

Oh you poor, poor thing Hmm

M5ybelle · 08/10/2023 12:03

Just remembered article about the Child’s Trust Fund for children born between 1/9/2002 and 2/1/2011. Money was paid into these by the government some people paid money in others didn’t. Those who did not pay money in still had some from the government and a lot of this has been unclaimed. See gov.uk/child-trust-funds/find-a-child-trust-fund . Was in latest Good housekeeping magazine (UK) about lost money.

VickyEadieofThigh · 08/10/2023 12:05

wutheringkites · 08/10/2023 11:18

@VickyEadieofThigh

You're wrong. The government want people to save. In fact, the government actually spend time and money thinking of how to get people (including benefits claimants) to save regularly. Look to Help to Save accounts.

About 10 years ago there were also child trust funds - people got £200 to start a savings account for their child with the hope that parents would continue paying in.

No. The government wanting people to save doesn't = 'child benefit is provided so that you can gift your 18 year old a cash sum'.

CB is to assist with raising the child. Those well enough off to save money regularly are wrong to make parents who have had to spend their CB on raising their children feel guilty for not being better off.

Condo · 08/10/2023 12:05

We never had it and I’m pretty disgusted to be honest that it isn’t used for its intended purpose. People who can afford to save it don’t need it.

PinkyFlamingo · 08/10/2023 12:08

FullMoomin · 08/10/2023 05:49

Oh no, they're not lying.
They're not the types to lie.

Show quote history

But they are the types to take money off the state they dont need obviously.

DrCoconut · 08/10/2023 12:10

What is this "very generous" saving scheme for people on UC? You get money taken off you if the total of yours and your DC's accounts (including current account) exceeds £6k. The way people talk on here they'd consider £6k to be pocket change. Kids from lower income families will never be able to have a substantial lump sump saved for them due to financial pressures anyway and will start their adult life at a disadvantage compared to the better off.

Cheeseandquackers21 · 08/10/2023 12:12

This makes me so so angry. Child benefit should be for spending right now for uniform clubs etc not saving. If you can save you don't need it. :( I'm a tax payer, and I understand most people who have benefits etc actually need it. But this makes me so angry.

Uggtrending · 08/10/2023 12:13

@SquirrelFeeder it's absolutely bitterness it's a race to the bottom. Because you don't get it and I do type of thing. Mind your own bloody business. Its not my fault you don't mange your money accordingly. Nobody is taking anything they are not entitled to. Deal with it I don't make the rules.

I'm not projecting anything I haven't slated OP for spending money she needed to. Rightly so if you need to spend it.

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