To have spent 12 years of child benefit?

[FullMoomin]

Having a panic attack.
I've just calculated that over the past 12 years of spending child benefit every month I've spent over £20,000!!!!!
I should have saved this money for DC!
If I had saved it, I could give it to them.
Turns out all my friends have been quietly saving theirs and now have a nice big monet pot to give their DC when they turn 18!
Now I feel horrifically guilty that my DC wo t get that, when all their friends will.
Oh help, really panicking.
I will never, ever be in the financial situation to pay £16,000 back to them.
The money goes in to my account each month and first it got spent on nappies, food, supplementing my reduced income, then when they went to school it got used for school uniform, new shoes, clubs, food, etc.
Suddenly 12 years has crept up on me and I haven't saved a penny of it.
Only 4 years of CHB to go now and then it stops!! I feel like I've seriously failed my DC.

Pretty sure it’s a very similar situation with nursery free hours: if you earn a few pound less than the extremely high threshold (£100k? May be mistaken…) you still get them?

It's to do whatever you want with. We don't get to police how others spend their money. And yes, it is their money, when it hits their bank account.

This actually makes me angry. CB is meant to be spent on raising the child, NOT to give them a lovely cash gift when they turn 18. As said here, if the government intended it to be saved and presented to the child, they'd put it into a separate account for them.

Seriously op you need to calm down, there is zero point in upsetting yourself over something that you can't change. Every family is different, it just so happens that your friends haven't needed that money for living expenses (lucky them!!) and you have. The purpose of child benefit is to help with the costs of raising your children, not to provide them with savings.

I think your friends might be telling porkies or have had a very easy life . Most people I know ( and I live in a fairly affluent area ) do not have 20 k to give their kids when they turn 18 .

I don’t begrudge her the money. Benefits and child benefits are there to help and support low income families. Not for savings accounts

This actually makes me angry. CB is meant to be spent on raising the child, NOT to give them a lovely cash gift when they turn 18. As said here, if the government intended it to be saved and presented to the child, they'd put it into a separate account for them

The CB is award to the parent with no strings attached as to the how is to be spent.

Absolutely this.

You spent it on the child - that’s fine, you’ve done right by them. It’s nice to have a nest egg but that’s not always possible.

@VickyEadieofThigh

You're wrong. The government want people to save. In fact, the government actually spend time and money thinking of how to get people (including benefits claimants) to save regularly. Look to Help to Save accounts.

About 10 years ago there were also child trust funds - people got £200 to start a savings account for their child with the hope that parents would continue paying in.

Had know idea people saved the money, I have friends who didn’t need the money but they never mentioned it if they did. I needed the money for baby things, then nursery and play group fees and shoes. The cost of start rite shoes. When my dds were 11 or 12 I opened bank accounts for them and paid the good proportion of child benefit into it for their pocket money, clothes, outings. One developed a love of money so took on 2 part time jobs, one where she got great tips, another where she had clothes discount. What would an 18 year old do with a gifted lump sum?

As others had said it is meant to be spent on the children, plus it's money that should be circulated in the economy, not saved as a gift for turning 18.

I'm now a grandmother and in all my years not one of my friends or colleagues has every said they were saving child benefit - no doubt better off people can save for the future but that's a different matter. You spent the money on your children as it was meant to be.

I've read with fascination. I had heard some people saved it if they could but had no idea it was fairly prolific (if the OP's acquaintances are to be believed).
We only got CB for about 5 years for our eldest and then the means testing came in. It was very welcome when we had him because we earned a lot less in those days, had a chunky mortgage and nursery fees were crippling. We never saved any of it "for him" or otherwise. It didn't occur to me and in the first few years we couldn't have afforded it anyway.

What I'm really curious about is what these parents are actually saving £20k FOR? Do they just hand over a lump sum in the 18th birthday? What happens then? Are there conditions? Is it in the child's own name so it HAS to be handed over?

For example our eldest is now at uni. He's only eligible for the min maintenance loan so we are required to pay the parental top up which is about £500 a month and we duly do so out of our income. We also paid for driving lessons and insurance so he can use my car. I'm wondering if the £20k parents insist that the saved funds are used for this purpose. If so it's really been saved to assist with the parents cash flow rather than as a gift to the child who ends up in the same position either way.

I have to say I agree with the posters who think handing over £20k to an 18 year old is a very bad idea. My son would blow it and fritter it away and have nothing much to show. That's exactly what he did with his child trust fund (it only had the minimum in it which I'm relieved about) and he's already cashed in some of the premium bonds his grandparents bought him when he was a baby. Apart from a couple of foreign trips which he really enjoyed it hasn't been spent wisely!

We do have savings and in due course we will probably help with a substantial house deposit if he gets a decent job and ability to service a mortgage. But I'm much less happy about the idea of handing over a big chunk of money randomly.

Precisely

Why should kids get a big lump sum after freeloading for 18 years ?
More (not so) stealth bragging ughh.

@FullMoomin

if you took MN at facevalue, every child reaches adult hood with parents who can afford to support them without asking for digs, buys them cars, hefty deposits for houses, weddings etc etc.
Most of us will like you have needed the money to pay the bills. I dont think I know anyone who was able to save the whole of their child benefit.

Personally I have been able to give my son a few thousand this year towards a car - from my redundancy payment. I have a lump sum coming in 18 months time - some of it is earmarked for him, but I need most of it for my retirement.
I potentially have a couple of years now my mortgage is paid off to squirrel away another couple of thousand for him. But its not going to be megabucks.
I think thats the reality for most families - a bit here and there.
You used the money because it was needed for essentials - dont beat yourself up about it

Is this just a fishing post to see how many people save vs spent the CHB?

You are being ridiculous. CHB is intended to support the costs of raising a child. To make sure they don't go without. There are far more people who spend it rather than save it.

@FullMoomin
I'm saving my cb for my now 1 year old, but will be debatable if she will get it at 18 or 21, she won't know about it so I can keep it until she is money wise, and know she will spend it wisely, but don't feel quilts about not saving it, I'm in no way well of, I work for the NHS full time so on a normal wage, I get 24 a week so I put 25 a week in to her account, people saying it's not for saving, once it goes in to your account its yous and you can do what you like with it.

Eh? It goes in my current account and gets spent - same as my parents did. I don't know anyone who got £20k on their 18th birthday! £100 more like.

Thank you so much ☺️I am doing very well now (I’m 36 and left home at 20 so have had a lot of healing time). Bless you for what you said. My best friend’s family were poor actually and they took me under their wing. The world is a pretty great place!

Chikd benefit isn't meant as a savings pot for children, it's meant to be used to raise them. How many of those 18 year olds will, when presented with that amount of money, blow it on holidays, clothes, nights out etc? I doubt that many of them will be using it to invest or buy a house with, I certainly wouldn't have at 18.

I was a single parent for many of the child benefit years. I absolutely needed that money to make ends meet. That's what it's for. If people can save it and match fund it well good for them. I didn't have that option. Lots of my mum friends were ,and are, still married. We all appreciated the money . They spent it on treats because there were 2 salaries coming in. Our children are all late 20s ,early 30s. I don't know of anyone who squirrelled it away. My parents didn't have lump sums to give me and my 2 siblings. They didn't buy us cars when we passed our tests. It is not compulsory to give your children chunks of money.

We spent our child benefit, we needed it!

We have accumulated savings in our names which we used to pay off our mortgage and now are saving for our future and dses future. They are young adults costing us a fortune at university, they would have wasted any lump sum we gave them at 18.

We are aiming to gift them money in a few years when they are ready to think about house deposits.

No need to feel guilty.

YABVVVU, you spent it on what it was intended for. What a dramatic post!!

Anyone who can pretty much afford to save it, doesn’t ‘need’ it, it’s not meant to given as a pressie (for them to no doubt waste) on their 18th.

I spent all my CB
my on off DP has a same age teen child who he has saved it all for and keeps talking about how great he is for doing it which I think is not right, he was just fortunate to be able to do that.
I’m a single parent and have just used it as intended. It’s not meant to be for saving. I’ve needed it.