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Original poster

School overreacted ?

184 replies

JimmyJam2019 · 08/10/2023 00:04

Child is barely 7, had full weight for school racism policy applied to them for calling an 11yo a poo. On the playground daring each other to call the big kids rude words. Older kid reported child for racist comment, can school not use some common sense, the kid is 7 and has no clue about racism.

OP posts:
TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 08/10/2023 09:32

Sunflowersinthewind · 08/10/2023 09:30

A child doesn't need to know what the term racist means. If they are using words to insult because someone looks different then that needs to be pulled up on regardless of whether they have been taught the definition of racism.

However, the crucial thing here is whether the child said poo because of the way the other child looked or if they were just using a standard 7 year old insult.

Well, the OP says they said it only to the non white child so on balance...

Soontobe60 · 08/10/2023 09:32

JimmyJam2019 · 08/10/2023 07:13

School isolated my child from his class for two days.
They said poo to multiple children my kid just said it to the wrong kid.
Other kids not punished.

By ‘wrong kid’ do you mean the child was Black?

saraclara · 08/10/2023 09:33

The child is six. All he needed was taking in one side and the teacher explaining that a) running round calling people poo is silly and b) it's particularly bad to call someone with brown skin a poo, because they could think you're saying it's because their skin is brown.

A two day suspension is far less effective and will lead to resentment. It will also be counter productive because a six year old sees things very simply and will probably blame the boy who reported him (and possibly start resenting other people of similar colour).

Action needs to be proportionate. This wasn't

MumblesParty · 08/10/2023 09:37

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 08/10/2023 09:30

Do you think the child randomly singled out the black child and randomly said one randomly insulting word to him?

And only him?

Really?

Show quote history

No, I don’t. I think they were saying poo to all the kids, and not even noticing their skin colour. Which is why I think the school were ridiculous to call it racist.

Original poster
JimmyJam2019 · 08/10/2023 09:39

Appreciate the comments, all the children said poo to multiple children of multiple ethnicities.
Literally shouting one word, not as part of a sentence.
Other words used were willy and bum, apparently.

This is certainly an issue of name calling which is to be dealt with.

OP posts:
surreygirl1987 · 08/10/2023 09:41

That does sound OTT. But was the older kid targeted BECAUSE he/she is black?

Also, why does a 7 year old not know anything about racism?

surreygirl1987 · 08/10/2023 09:41

Appreciate the comments, all the children said poo to multiple children of multiple ethnicities.
Literally shouting one word, not as part of a sentence.
Other words used were willy and bum, apparently

Oh I see - no, school is being OTT in that case. That's ridiculous.

piintheski · 08/10/2023 09:43

JimmyJam2019 · 08/10/2023 09:39

Appreciate the comments, all the children said poo to multiple children of multiple ethnicities.
Literally shouting one word, not as part of a sentence.
Other words used were willy and bum, apparently.

This is certainly an issue of name calling which is to be dealt with.

Edited

I don't understand why you think any of this is relevant.

Your child behaved appallingly and has a well deserved two day isolation.

In addition to that, one occasion at least was perceived as racist, and the school have acted accordingly

I hope you are following up with consequences at home

MumblesParty · 08/10/2023 09:43

saraclara · 08/10/2023 09:33

The child is six. All he needed was taking in one side and the teacher explaining that a) running round calling people poo is silly and b) it's particularly bad to call someone with brown skin a poo, because they could think you're saying it's because their skin is brown.

A two day suspension is far less effective and will lead to resentment. It will also be counter productive because a six year old sees things very simply and will probably blame the boy who reported him (and possibly start resenting other people of similar colour).

Action needs to be proportionate. This wasn't

Exactly. A young child will probably learn from this that the best thing is not to talk to dark skinned children, because you get into trouble. He might understand the explanation that poo is brown and therefore it can be seen as a racist insult to use that word, but his abiding memory will be that he said the same “naughty” word as his friends, but they didn’t get into trouble, because they said it to white children. Teaching him young to treat dark skinned people differently.

MumblesParty · 08/10/2023 09:45

piintheski · 08/10/2023 09:43

I don't understand why you think any of this is relevant.

Your child behaved appallingly and has a well deserved two day isolation.

In addition to that, one occasion at least was perceived as racist, and the school have acted accordingly

I hope you are following up with consequences at home

Show quote history

wow - you think little kids daring each other to say poo, bum and Willy to older kids warrants a 2 day isolation?!

truthhurts23 · 08/10/2023 09:48

your attitude is the reason why your son said it

Oysterbabe · 08/10/2023 09:48

He sounds like a very young 7 year old, that's more reception level behaviour. Why doesn't he know about racism? I think my DD was 4 when she asked what a Black Live Matter sign meant. He should be aware of it.

piintheski · 08/10/2023 09:48

MumblesParty · 08/10/2023 09:45

wow - you think little kids daring each other to say poo, bum and Willy to older kids warrants a 2 day isolation?!

Show quote history

Other children are entitled to pass without being shouted at, intimidated and insulted. In the adult world this would be considered a criminal assault, if reported.

I am a teacher, and have taught in some of London's roughest comps, and this is not normal or acceptable behaviour

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 08/10/2023 09:51

MumblesParty · 08/10/2023 09:37

No, I don’t. I think they were saying poo to all the kids, and not even noticing their skin colour. Which is why I think the school were ridiculous to call it racist.

Show quote history

The OP has explained this.
The other children were using it as a childish insult to white children. Various white children.

Her son only used it to insult the black child.

CurlewKate · 08/10/2023 09:53

I do wonder why on Mumsnet the benefit of the doubt is always given to the person accused of racism rather than the the victim .....

Mariposista · 08/10/2023 09:54

Seriously? Just because poo is brown?
So if he had called the other kid a snotbag would that have been racist against aliens?
This is pathetic. I am all for punishments if one is merited, and never get involved in teachers' decisions, but a simple telling off would have sufficed here. A 7 year old rarely has the notion of 'racism' (unless form a super farming radical family, which doesn't sound the case). All kids love poo talk (actually my husband still laughs at it!)
Make it clear your child won't be doing the isolation.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 08/10/2023 09:59

CurlewKate · 08/10/2023 09:53

I do wonder why on Mumsnet the benefit of the doubt is always given to the person accused of racism rather than the the victim .....

From racists I'd venture.

And generally mothers of boys who indulge their inappropriate language because it's "funny". With parents who think the black child is the "wrong" one to have insulted, what hope is there for that child unless school does come down hard.

piintheski · 08/10/2023 10:00

Mariposista · 08/10/2023 09:54

Seriously? Just because poo is brown?
So if he had called the other kid a snotbag would that have been racist against aliens?
This is pathetic. I am all for punishments if one is merited, and never get involved in teachers' decisions, but a simple telling off would have sufficed here. A 7 year old rarely has the notion of 'racism' (unless form a super farming radical family, which doesn't sound the case). All kids love poo talk (actually my husband still laughs at it!)
Make it clear your child won't be doing the isolation.

It is not up to the OP whether her child does isolation.

He has been told he is doing isolation, so he is doing it, or he is leaving the school - simple as

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 08/10/2023 10:00

Mariposista · 08/10/2023 09:54

Seriously? Just because poo is brown?
So if he had called the other kid a snotbag would that have been racist against aliens?
This is pathetic. I am all for punishments if one is merited, and never get involved in teachers' decisions, but a simple telling off would have sufficed here. A 7 year old rarely has the notion of 'racism' (unless form a super farming radical family, which doesn't sound the case). All kids love poo talk (actually my husband still laughs at it!)
Make it clear your child won't be doing the isolation.

If a 7 year old hasn't yet been taught that you don't wound people with words based on their physical appearance, then you've got a problem.

BungleandGeorge · 08/10/2023 10:00

Isolation for 2 days is a ridiculous punishment especially for a 7 year old. He does need to learn not to insult people and call them names and that sometimes the perceived insult is worse than you thought it would be because the person you pick on is more vulnerable. I think they should have addressed it with the entire group and got him to write an apology rather than what they did

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 08/10/2023 10:01

@Mariposista all kids DON'T love "poo talk" tbh. Particularly beyond the age of about 4. And girls, not even then.
Any child in my class still going on about poo beyond "I need the toilet" would be flagged.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 08/10/2023 10:02

BungleandGeorge · 08/10/2023 10:00

Isolation for 2 days is a ridiculous punishment especially for a 7 year old. He does need to learn not to insult people and call them names and that sometimes the perceived insult is worse than you thought it would be because the person you pick on is more vulnerable. I think they should have addressed it with the entire group and got him to write an apology rather than what they did

Isolation for 2 days for a first offence is indeed very harsh.

Makes you wonder what else has been going on.

PikachuEars · 08/10/2023 10:02

My 6yo did something not dissimilar, perhaps worse, which, while I am confident was not born of racist intent, was nevertheless racist. He had a stern talking to from the HT (reinforced by a big talk at home).

That seemed to me like an appropriate way to deal with a ‘first offence’. A two day exclusion for a 7 year old seems completely excessive as a punishment for what the OP describes, unless there’s a LOT of missing context.

BungleandGeorge · 08/10/2023 10:03

I do think you shouldn’t be excusing his behaviour. It’s a life lesson that this isn’t acceptable. Even if other people are doing it. Even if some other kids aren’t worried by being called names.

Sugargliderwombat · 08/10/2023 10:15

Obviously if it happened as you said it would be unreasonable.

But... how could you know it was lots of children of different ethnicities? What did yhe school say when asked about that? How could your child know nothing about racism when it sounds like a school that would be talking about racism?

I wonder if your child has been twisting the truth here.