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Original poster

School overreacted ?

184 replies

JimmyJam2019 · 08/10/2023 00:04

Child is barely 7, had full weight for school racism policy applied to them for calling an 11yo a poo. On the playground daring each other to call the big kids rude words. Older kid reported child for racist comment, can school not use some common sense, the kid is 7 and has no clue about racism.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 08/10/2023 07:49

We used to call each other poo as kids I’m sure. I didn’t know it was considered a racist term. I guess it’s an opportunity to explain to your child about racism.

PuttingDownRoots · 08/10/2023 07:50

If your child's version of events was correct, it sounds like the whole group needed a lesson in how even silly words can be hurtful.

There are many terms when said to a white child can be funny and silly, but can have extra meaning when said to other children.

anareen · 08/10/2023 07:54

@DeniseSecunda

Oh man, I am not sure! I forgot about that! 🤦🏻‍♀️

In the US children first learn about that in Kindergarten.

I wonder how UK approaches this? 🤔

StepAwayFromGoogling · 08/10/2023 08:00

Good lord, poo is the favourite word of primary age children. Your child and his friends need a lesson in being kind but I fail to see how this is in any way racist.

Primproperpenny · 08/10/2023 08:05

If it’s as you say, I think that’s a huge overreaction. It’s also going to give the poor child a complex about using a word for a daily bodily function for most people! If lots of 6-7 year olds stood around a child with brown skin and chanted ‘poo’ at them, that’s a very different thing. I’m surprised at a primary using isolation, and two days’ isolation, as a punishment for a first offence. I’d want to see their behaviour policy.

Theunamedcat · 08/10/2023 08:09

Yeah they should all have been punished not just one

GreenwichOrTwicks · 08/10/2023 08:12

I had similar with primary school. There was a child being violent to others in the class. Teachers did nothing and the children were every upset by it. My son (6) and his friend hid the bully’s lunch box behind a tree -re playground supervisor saw and I as hauled in to listen to the head teacher berating him for racism. We were told the bully was a refuge. None of us had any idea but was then clear why he was never punished -the teachers didn’t dare.
My sn was very upset -he is most definitely not racist and has -and had good friends of all cultures. The school was actively promoting racism and division! Luckily we were able to move him to a better school.

captncrunch · 08/10/2023 08:14

This thread surprises me. It seems people are falling over themselves trying to see the point of the school. I work in a primary school myself. If it was just as you said and he said "you're a poo!" And not "you are the colour of poo" or "you look like poo!" Or similar, and if there have been no other previous events that add some context to this... what a huge overreaction!! Common sense needs to be applied here.

Yes we do need to teach kids about racism and about being careful with the language they used. But this could have been effectively dealt with by having a conversation with your son. Two days of isolation at 6 years old! This would simply never have happened at our school.

piintheski · 08/10/2023 08:15

JimmyJam2019 · 08/10/2023 07:13

School isolated my child from his class for two days.
They said poo to multiple children my kid just said it to the wrong kid.
Other kids not punished.

Your child, and you, need to take on board very quickly that what other kids did, and what happened to them is totally irrelevant, and has nothing to do with you.

If he was a teen being pulled up in court for this, only his behaviour would be being looked at. If others had got away, that would make no difference at all. He needs to take responsibility for himself.

And he said something which was perceived as racist. The school now has a legal duty to report that to the council, including how it was dealt with. The school has no leeway in this. It is nothing to do with the school "over reacting". A racist incident has occurred, defined as being perceived as racist by the victim or a witness. |The legal procedure must now be followed.

Valuable lesson for your child, and for you.

Gymrabbit · 08/10/2023 08:22

piintheski

the only ‘lesson’ that the OP has learnt is that the school are race obsessed nutjobs who are more concerned with appearing to be pc than fair treatment.
there is nothing at all to suggest that this was a racist incident, and it is disgusting to treat a 6 year old as though he’d used the n word.
my daughter called my husband a poo twice yesterday and she is the same age as the OPs child. It’s the insult of choice for them.

and I’m utterly done with the bollocks of if someone perceives something as racist then it is.
perception is not reality and it’s the intent that matters.

piintheski · 08/10/2023 08:30

Gymrabbit · 08/10/2023 08:22

piintheski

the only ‘lesson’ that the OP has learnt is that the school are race obsessed nutjobs who are more concerned with appearing to be pc than fair treatment.
there is nothing at all to suggest that this was a racist incident, and it is disgusting to treat a 6 year old as though he’d used the n word.
my daughter called my husband a poo twice yesterday and she is the same age as the OPs child. It’s the insult of choice for them.

and I’m utterly done with the bollocks of if someone perceives something as racist then it is.
perception is not reality and it’s the intent that matters.

It is nothing to do with the school. Someone perceived the child as being racist to them, so procedure is followed. Intent cant be assessed, can it, only perception, so the child needs to learn this.

I am utterly horrified by the behaviour of your child - and even more so by the casual way you mention it as if it is normal. Do you accept that sort of behaviour from her?

Donutofdoooooom · 08/10/2023 08:30

You seem more upset that your child has been labelled a racist, than that your child made another upset by making an inappropriate comment. It's for the person on the receiving end to decide if what you said hurt/insulted/upset them, not for you to determine.

Even if it was a genuine mistake, use this as a learning experience for the power of words with your child. If you adopt a stance of the school being out of order in front of your child, you may reinforce that they can just go around insulting people and it's fine..

Escapetofrance · 08/10/2023 08:31

Oh dear. I doubt he was being racist, just being silly like lots of 7 year olds. However, I think most children are taught in schools what racism is from a young age and hopefully at home too.

Paintballmaker · 08/10/2023 08:34

Donutofdoooooom · 08/10/2023 08:30

You seem more upset that your child has been labelled a racist, than that your child made another upset by making an inappropriate comment. It's for the person on the receiving end to decide if what you said hurt/insulted/upset them, not for you to determine.

Even if it was a genuine mistake, use this as a learning experience for the power of words with your child. If you adopt a stance of the school being out of order in front of your child, you may reinforce that they can just go around insulting people and it's fine..

This ^

You should use this as a learning experience for your child. Regardless of intent, they are not the victim here.

Finteq · 08/10/2023 08:35

SacAMain · 08/10/2023 07:25

HOW is poo "racist"?

Show quote history

Well if you only call the brown kid a poo and the white kids gets other insults. And maybe the brown kid is the only brown kid in the class?

And if the same kid is always being called a poo cos he's brown. And then it becomes his nickname. I think it would upset the kid and his family very much. And would be racist.

Depends on the context.

But if that kid has been called poo several times before in an environment where the majority of kids are white/ by white kids. I could understand if the kids parents complained.

maddening · 08/10/2023 08:36

footiemum3 · 08/10/2023 04:51

Sadly children do use the term poo as a racist insult, my boys were a similar age when another child told them their Dad was the same colour as poo. My boys are olive skinned while their Dad is Asian. Wether your son was using it as a racist term or not, you need to be asking why they thought it ok or funny to call other children nasty names. I am a teacher in a primary school and would find that behaviour very worrying and certainly not acceptable or standard for a 6 year old.

Saying "you are.the colour of poo" and "poo!" Are 2 different things.

maddening · 08/10/2023 08:40

piintheski · 08/10/2023 08:30

It is nothing to do with the school. Someone perceived the child as being racist to them, so procedure is followed. Intent cant be assessed, can it, only perception, so the child needs to learn this.

I am utterly horrified by the behaviour of your child - and even more so by the casual way you mention it as if it is normal. Do you accept that sort of behaviour from her?

Show quote history

So I can perceive anything you say as a.sexist.or racist insult, or hate speach, or even a threat, and it makes no difference what you say in you defence, if i perceice it it is true? that is crackers.

Boredatwork1234 · 08/10/2023 08:42

I have memories of being 6 and my best friend was black, there was also a Chinese boy in the class. I remember saying no you are made of poo and my best friend is made of chocolate after he had said my friend was made of poo.

Guess what I am trying to say is yes kids don’t know what “racism” is but they are picking up on loads of differences at a very young age.

The school have potentially overreacted seems very extreme. But I disagree that kids don’t know what racism is….it’s a child’s variant.

RichardArmitagesWife · 08/10/2023 08:45

School have been ridiculous. Seven year olds calling people “a poo” is just a playground insult.

If the 11 year old experienced that as a racist slur, an assembly talking about racism might be appropriate, but not punishing a little kid for two days over a scatological word.

70sDuvet · 08/10/2023 08:48

I think this type of punishment is just showing children what racism is.

In my DC class at that age the white children described themselves as peach not white, black children were brown and Syrian children were tan. All self reported.

As people they didn't see a difference amongst themselves.

That has changed slightly as they've gotten older and learnt that they all don't share the same faith, so recognise their homelives are different- but luckily in their case no signs of racism yet! As they also realise not everyone goes back to the same type of house they do.

Yes, racism can be very much passed on in "some' homes - but if its not; all this school have done is turn a normal childhood taunt and turn it into a racial issue.

HoppingPavlova · 08/10/2023 08:48

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justabigdisco · 08/10/2023 08:54

My daughter (half asian) had a child say to her ‘you’re brown like poo’ at around this age. I wasn’t inclined to write it off as ‘kids being kids’. The child who said it needed to know that that wasn’t an ok thing to say, regardless of the intention behind it.

FoFanta · 08/10/2023 08:56

I agree that this punishment seems over the top, but I think a lot of you are being very naive if you don't think 6 year old know about racism. My daughter was in pre-school (so was 3) when she was told by another child in her class that she shouldn't be playing with any of the black kids and she should stick to her own kind. By another 3 year old. This was obviously the message that they had been sent into school with from home, and not the kids fault at all. But racist adults will pass those lessons onto their children early.

Finteq · 08/10/2023 08:56

I guess there's certain words that could be thought of as racists and its best kids are taught at an early age.

Would you have been happy if they called a black kid a monkey? Would you have been offended if they got into trouble for it?

Bookish88 · 08/10/2023 08:57

justabigdisco · 08/10/2023 08:54

My daughter (half asian) had a child say to her ‘you’re brown like poo’ at around this age. I wasn’t inclined to write it off as ‘kids being kids’. The child who said it needed to know that that wasn’t an ok thing to say, regardless of the intention behind it.

Ok, but with this example, what was the context of how it was said? And how old the child? If younger primary age, I'd have assumed they were simply making a factual statement based on observation. It's not automatically racist.