To think my friend’s “warning” was fine?

[WomanStanleyWoman2]

A new Arabic restaurant has opened in our area. A friend of mine went and said she liked the food, but was disappointed there was no alcohol licence. She and I both enjoy wine with a meal, so it did put me off a bit TBH, although I might try it for lunch.

Anyway, someone had posted about this restaurant on our local Facebook page, with all the usual “please support a new local business” comments. My friend had replied on the post saying “Just to warn people, this place doesn’t have an alcohol licence or offer BYOB”.

Honestly, from some of the reactions you’d think she’d confessed to suffocating puppies. People telling her she was pathetic; why on earth should people have to be “warned” about the lack of alcohol; can’t people enjoy even one meal without alcohol; it sums up everything that’s wrong with this country (🙄) and so on. One person (who I assume is connected to the restaurant or its owners) even tried to suggest she was damaging the business!

AIBU to think there was nothing wrong with what she posted? Maybe the word “warn” made it sound a bit overdramatic, but realistically there are a fair few people who wouldn’t want to go to a dry restaurant. As for saying she was damaging the business, that’s just ridiculous in my eyes. It was entirely factual to say they don’t serve alcohol. It’s unlicensed, but they want to keep it a secret? If they’re that worried the lack of a licence will put people off, why not just apply for one?

If they think they can sustain a dry restaurant, they must believe they’ll still get customers who aren’t bothered by the lack of alcohol. So why is it a problem to point out that they don’t sell it?

If they asked her, sure. As an unsolicited negative comment on a promotional post?

Any reasonably intelligent person would realise there's a fair chance an Arab restaurant won't serve alcohol and can make inquiries if it matters.

Really? I find that an odd reaction.

I'm sure the vast majority of people are capable of enjoying food without alcohol but actually going out for a meal is different - people often make an effort, it's more of an occasion than your average meal, especially these days with the cost of living. It may be a celebration. Some people who don't drink may therefore choose to treat themselves to some wine or whatever.

I don't understand why someone would find that funny. Maybe your privilege is showing.

You can’t seem to understand the difference between NEED and WANT either.

I’ve never known an Indian restaurant that didn’t at least do BYOB (in fact in many cities that’s the norm). That’s not to say Indian restaurants that prohibit alcohol don’t exist, but I’d dispute the idea that there are “loads” of them.

Her warning is fine (the word warning maybe a little dramatic).

The the Uk most people paying for a meal tend to want a drink. It’s a perfectly useful piece of info to post.

BTW a lot of Arabic restaurants do have licenses, so you wouldn’t assume anything.

But reviews on food are opinions. Not serving alcohol is a fact, the buisness has decided to make that choice, as is their right but can hardly object when a decision is pointed out.

It’s not a negative post. It’s factual.

You live in an area with a strong Muslim community and that's actually why it wouldn't occur to you to check if a local Arab restaurant was dry?

And you expect me to believe that?

How is it a negative comment? It was a statement of fact.
'Warn' maybe not the nicest but it's just one word.
It's not like she 'avoid at all costs, no alcohol blah2'.

She may have actually helped the business out if they realise that this is something people might find off-putting and so make it clear in their advertisements. The deluge of virtue signallers doesn't seem reflective of reality.

Btw if I had gotten all dressed up and taken a taxi/trudged through public transport in the hopes of enjoying a drink I'd be sorely disappointed and walk out. I only drink when out.

Respectfully, you don’t need to understand why some people want alcohol to accompany their meal. For some people, a glass of wine or other alcoholic drink enhances a meal, for others it doesn’t. Both are fine and neither needs explaining.

Assuming a lot of people commenting on this post live in the UK, it’s the norm that a restaurant would offer alcohol. Therefore I don’t think it’s reasonable to call in advance to check if alcohol is served as it’s more
unusual that it wouldn’t be.

Facts can be presented in a negative context with a negative intention and I think you do know that. That's literally how "warnings" work.

I haven't got any sympathy for people who want a drink, go to an Arabic establishment and don't check ahead.

Ridiculous to have a go at your friend for this. I would not go to a restaurant that doesn’t allow alcohol. I don’t drink with most meals at home, but if I’m going out I want to drink. There are one or two Middle Eastern restaurants near us that don’t allow alcohol, and several that do- we go to the ones that do. And to complain about “negative language”- she doesn’t owe them anything. She isn’t an employer or a teacher with a duty to find the positive. People are just looking for a reason to get the knives out.

So she didn't even comment on the food?

Btw if I had gotten all dressed up and taken a taxi/trudged through public transport in the hopes of enjoying a drink...

To an Arab restaurant? Without checking?
That's on you.

It wouldn't have occurred to me because Arabic doesn't equate to Muslim and there are Arabic restaurants local to me that serve alcohol. It wouldn't occur to me to ring ahead given that.

No. I think it was mean. Hospitality is really suffering & they were trying to promote their business.

I know Arabic doesn't have to equate to Muslim, but there's a reasonable chance it does and therefore a reasonable chance that it's dry, especially if it serves a strong Muslim community. Not recognising this strong possibility if you want a drink doesn't make you a great egalitarian, it makes you very foolish.

Your friend was BU

You came on here to ask our opinion if your friends warning was fine.
But if you don't like any of our responses or opinions you come back at us with a retort.
Why ask if you don't like the answers?

OP acknowledged the negative connotations of ‘warn’ in her first post. No idea why she’s quibbling it now.

God, I’ve lived quite a sheltered life because I never even knew that dry restaurants were a thing. I think your friend was fine to warn customers there is no alcohol. It’s not something I would ever consider checking (but will now!) so I can’t imagine they are the norm in the UK. As PP’s are saying, a meal out can be a rare occurrence these days so I would be one of those people to be pissed off if I couldn’t have a glass of wine with my food.

All the people pretending they don't know the difference between need and want! 🤣🤣🙈

Imagine finding there was no dessert menu...

"But I don't just want a slice of cheesecake, I NEED one! How will I EVER survive without it??"

Why would I check? Plenty if they don't serve alcohol are BYOB.
Yara in Altrincham, Pasha in Manchester there are loads.
https://www.manchestersfinest.com/manchester-guides/the-best-byob-restaurants-in-manchester/

Many more on this list.

It's on the restaurant to highlight if they don't allow alcohol not for people to check. Although it does result in hilarious mental gymnastics and stunning display of ignorance... assuming that because of a restaurant's perceived cultural background it won't serve alcohol.

Btw... I've got quite a few Middle Eastern friends... also entertained contacts/clients... all of them expected alcohol with their meal. Sent a couple of them this thread, they're finding it a hoot!

The other thing is I have no idea what an 'Arab' restaurant is. Middle Eastern? Lebanese? Syrian? What?

Why would I check?

Because of the very real possibility that the restaurant might be entirely dry, as in this case it was. Obviously.

I don’t think you quite understand how an exchange of ideas works…

Warn?

well, I serr how some people might find that a bit OTTP. “Inform” might have been a bit more appropriate.

But I’m still surprised people would be genuinely upset or find it offensive. The internet, I suppose 🤷‍♀️🙄

And I would appreciate the information. Because I do like an aperitif. Or glass of wine. Or a beer etc.