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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my friend’s “warning” was fine?

281 replies

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 07/10/2023 16:03

A new Arabic restaurant has opened in our area. A friend of mine went and said she liked the food, but was disappointed there was no alcohol licence. She and I both enjoy wine with a meal, so it did put me off a bit TBH, although I might try it for lunch.

Anyway, someone had posted about this restaurant on our local Facebook page, with all the usual “please support a new local business” comments. My friend had replied on the post saying “Just to warn people, this place doesn’t have an alcohol licence or offer BYOB”.

Honestly, from some of the reactions you’d think she’d confessed to suffocating puppies. People telling her she was pathetic; why on earth should people have to be “warned” about the lack of alcohol; can’t people enjoy even one meal without alcohol; it sums up everything that’s wrong with this country (🙄) and so on. One person (who I assume is connected to the restaurant or its owners) even tried to suggest she was damaging the business!

AIBU to think there was nothing wrong with what she posted? Maybe the word “warn” made it sound a bit overdramatic, but realistically there are a fair few people who wouldn’t want to go to a dry restaurant. As for saying she was damaging the business, that’s just ridiculous in my eyes. It was entirely factual to say they don’t serve alcohol. It’s unlicensed, but they want to keep it a secret? If they’re that worried the lack of a licence will put people off, why not just apply for one?

If they think they can sustain a dry restaurant, they must believe they’ll still get customers who aren’t bothered by the lack of alcohol. So why is it a problem to point out that they don’t sell it?

OP posts:
PikachuChickenRice · 07/10/2023 17:58

ReadingSoManyThreads · 07/10/2023 17:38

YABU

I actually can't believe you posted this. It's so disrespectful. I wouldn't go to an Arabic restaurant and expect there to be alcohol or be allowed to take alcohol. Honestly, I think these people who need to drink wine with their meals are pathetic.

Your friend's "warning", was unfair and disrespectful towards their beliefs.

What beliefs? It's an Arabic, not a Muslim restaurant.
Have you never heard of Arabic Christians?
OP your friend could have posted in a nicer way. But she doesn't deserve that much of a backlash.

@Lolabear38 exactly.

What is ACTUALLY racist is to assume that a restaurant doesn't follow the norms.
If a similar warning for an Italian restaurant does not receive such a heated response then nothing wrong with an Arabic restaurant.

If they had any brains they'd take the feedback on board and remember to clearly highlight it on their online channels.

NalafromtheLionKing · 07/10/2023 17:58

Wouldyouguess · 07/10/2023 17:09

Are you the aid friend? Maybe have a drink, may make your day a bit better.

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Goady and smug isn’t a great combination. Cheers! 🍷

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 07/10/2023 18:02

I don't see the issue. It was a factual report, they don't serve alcohol. For some it makes no difference, for others they'll eat elsewhere.

Imsureitsprobablymebut · 07/10/2023 18:02

I would appreciate the warning!
I might still go, what a weird thing for others to assume I wouldn’t.

HandbagMarinara · 07/10/2023 18:02

Rosscameasdoody · 07/10/2023 17:13

I don’t think there’s anything unreasonable about what she posted, but surely people wouldn’t expect an Arabic restaurant to serve alcohol ?

See I find this racist. Arabic does not mean no alcohol, nor does it mean they are part of any belief system.

I wouldn't visit for dinner (obviously that means I'm a raging alcoholic in the MNverse)

I also wouldn't look online for the menu beforehand- allergies aside I genuinely do not understand why people would, getting the menu is all part of the fun.

And as for the tone police and the shit sandwich, jeez

newamsterdam · 07/10/2023 18:03

HandbagMarinara · 07/10/2023 18:02

See I find this racist. Arabic does not mean no alcohol, nor does it mean they are part of any belief system.

I wouldn't visit for dinner (obviously that means I'm a raging alcoholic in the MNverse)

I also wouldn't look online for the menu beforehand- allergies aside I genuinely do not understand why people would, getting the menu is all part of the fun.

And as for the tone police and the shit sandwich, jeez

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Absolutely, assuming things about people based on their race is basic racism.

truthhurts23 · 07/10/2023 18:03

Lolabear38 · 07/10/2023 17:45

It’s really not common sense. It’s actually very ignorant to assume that an Arabic restaurant would be dry.

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no it's not "very arrogant actually", its better to assume that there will be no alcohol than to expect there will be

newamsterdam · 07/10/2023 18:04

truthhurts23 · 07/10/2023 17:43

if it was a jewish restaurant would you expect there to be alcohol there?
its common sense that in an arabic restaurant, there will not be alcohol there

Yes, why wouldn't I? I've been to Jewish restaurants and homes and had wine with dinner in all of them.
What are you even talking about?

newamsterdam · 07/10/2023 18:05

truthhurts23 · 07/10/2023 18:03

no it's not "very arrogant actually", its better to assume that there will be no alcohol than to expect there will be

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Actually its better not to make assumptions based on race at all.

magicscares · 07/10/2023 18:07

Your friend was NBU. I rarely drink but if I do it’s typically when I go out for a meal. I’d much rather know in advance if somewhere didn’t have an alcohol licence, as that is unusual & would affect my choice (equally I’d be more likely to choose it if I was going out with someone who doesn’t drink). The restaurant has every right to be alcohol free & I also respect that. You friend didn’t do anything wrong IMO.

RichardArmitagesWife · 07/10/2023 18:08

I would appreciate the information and be more likely to visit for lunch. If I'm splurging on an evening meal out, I like a glass of wine, or perhaps a G&T before the meal.

I've only been to three dry restaurants and two of those allowed BYOB. I would not assume an Arabic restaurant was dry unless it was clearly stated on the website.

I may glance at a menu online but I wouldn't look for a drinks list and could easily be surprised when I arrived. And a walkout helps no one.

Hawkins0009 · 07/10/2023 18:10

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 07/10/2023 17:36

It doesn’t seem to have worked for drugs…

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does not mean it will be the same result, thats false logic

BygoneDays · 07/10/2023 18:11

Precipice · 07/10/2023 16:13

It’s not going to help the business is it? Adults can research if having a drink with a meal is essential OP's friend is under no obligation to help the business. It's not even on the page of the business; just a local one. Indeed, the 'research' might be looking at comments that other people have left about the business...

If she'd put it more as 'Had a lovely meal here, didn't know beforehand that they don't serve alcohol or allow BYOB but their lemonade was delish" or similar I think she'd have had a much better response. Yes, she might have had a better response, but it would be a different comment. You don't have to 'shit sandwich' all comments on everything.

Because helping the business would have been a nice thing to do. Strange concept, I know...

Lolabear38 · 07/10/2023 18:12

truthhurts23 · 07/10/2023 18:03

no it's not "very arrogant actually", its better to assume that there will be no alcohol than to expect there will be

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You’ve misquoted me, I didn’t say it was arrogant. Also why is it better to assume there won’t be alcohol than expect there will be? In a country where the majority of restaurants serve alcohol, this would be going against the norm and as has already been established, the fact that it’s an Arabic restaurant wouldn’t automatically mean that alcohol wouldn’t be served there. Do you go to every restaurant assuming there won’t be alcohol served?

newamsterdam · 07/10/2023 18:12

BygoneDays · 07/10/2023 18:11

Because helping the business would have been a nice thing to do. Strange concept, I know...

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Why is the nice thing the top priority? What's not nice about letting people know basic facts about the restaurant?

Original poster
WomanStanleyWoman2 · 07/10/2023 18:12

Hawkins0009 · 07/10/2023 18:10

does not mean it will be the same result, thats false logic

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It’s actually very sensible logic. Although I’m not sure how a discussion around whether alcohol should be banned altogether is relevant to this thread.

OP posts:
HandbagMarinara · 07/10/2023 18:13

Hawkins0009 · 07/10/2023 18:10

does not mean it will be the same result, thats false logic

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Because prohibition was such a success

SurprisedWithAHorse · 07/10/2023 18:14

Precipice · 07/10/2023 17:14

Possibility, yes. Not certainty. Given that, it make sense for someone who found herself wishing she had known to make it known to others.

All the Arabic (specifically Moroccan and Lebanese) or Turkish (so also majority Muslim) restaurants I've been to in the UK have offered alcohol. An Arab restaurant I ate in in Jerusalem served alcohol. The only two restaurants I know to be no-alcohol were Indian (one advertised a corkage fee so you could BYOB). It's by no means a rule and while a possibility, not such a high probability as to make it something all potential clients should assume.

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She should have realised the possibility and phoned ahead to check if it was that important to her.

HandbagMarinara · 07/10/2023 18:14

newamsterdam · 07/10/2023 18:12

Why is the nice thing the top priority? What's not nice about letting people know basic facts about the restaurant?

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Because.... #bekind

newamsterdam · 07/10/2023 18:15

HandbagMarinara · 07/10/2023 18:14

Because.... #bekind

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because #fuckthat.

#bekind is gaslighting misogynistic bullshit.

Skodacool · 07/10/2023 18:16

Merryoldgoat · 07/10/2023 16:09

Tbh I wouldn’t expect an Arabic restaurant to serve alcohol.

At last, the first comment that goes anywhere near acknowledging that this restaurant is run by Muslims.

Magenta82 · 07/10/2023 18:16

HandbagMarinara · 07/10/2023 18:13

Because prohibition was such a success

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Well exactly

newamsterdam · 07/10/2023 18:17

Skodacool · 07/10/2023 18:16

At last, the first comment that goes anywhere near acknowledging that this restaurant is run by Muslims.

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There are LOAD of posts on this, and why assume its run by Muslims? Or that restaurants run by Muslims don't serve alcohol? Or that there aren't millions of muslims that drink alcohol.

Your post is really racist.

Lolabear38 · 07/10/2023 18:17

HandbagMarinara · 07/10/2023 18:14

Because.... #bekind

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#bekind is a lovely sentiment but nobody is under any obligation when it comes to a service that we pay for. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be kind in restaurants, what I am saying is people don’t have to accept or choose a restaurant that doesn’t offer what they want for the sake of #bekind.

Cosyblankets · 07/10/2023 18:17

Merryoldgoat · 07/10/2023 16:09

Tbh I wouldn’t expect an Arabic restaurant to serve alcohol.

I've been on holiday to Tunisia, a Muslim country. Plenty of restaurants there serve wine. Many don't buy there are plenty that do.
I think the word warn was probably the issue here. Other than that nothing wrong
In typing this having just finished my evening meal at home without a drink. But in a restaurant it would be normal for me to have a drink.