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Original poster

Should I be embarrassed about this or am I overthinking..

135 replies

MyDogsPaws · 06/10/2023 19:14

I just met my lovely neighbour( older man) in my local Asda and for some unknown reason, clearly lacking anything better to say and allowing my socially awkward verbal diarrhoea to spew forth, I said the words “oh you look like you’ve got an exciting weekend planned with your wine and sausages” to which he laughed awkwardly and hastily departed. Now I can’t stop thinking about what he thought I meant about the wine and sausages 😬

Does anyone else get in trouble with socially awkward verbal diarrhoea and then overthink it for the rest of their lives?

OP posts:
thomasinacat · 01/12/2023 23:16

Eating at Brasserie Blanc, when I went to the loo, I saw Raymond sat at a table having a break with another member of staff.

As I went past, because he looked so familiar, I greeted him like an old friend, 'oh, hello Raymond', brain completely not registering that I know him from the telly, but of course he hasn't the foggiest who I am.... Also embarrassingly it sounded like, 'oh fancy seeing you here', although it's his restaurant... He was so charming and returned the greeting in a friendly manner, not like I am some crazy woman.

Another time, I saw a well known singer at the airport and decided to ask for an autograph for my Mum. I said to him, 'it's not for me, it's for my Mum who's a fan'.

Harls1969 · 02/12/2023 19:20

This thread has really made me laugh.
I once went to visit my dad and as he answered the door I noticed that they had changed their hall carpet for laminate. My first words to him were 'Oh, you've got wood!'

During another visit, my stepmum was going through a box of old photos with me and my then teenage DC. There was a photo of DD aged around 2 in the bath and my stepmum said 'I remember that, you made me SO wet!' - how the 3 of us didn't laugh I'll never know (we all made sure we didn't look at each other), but DSM would have had no idea why it was funny!

Raffles76 · 02/12/2023 21:12

Crunchymum · 06/10/2023 20:10

Oh gosh I say stupid shit like this all the time.

Most recent are me telling another mum "they're all waiting for you" when she was clearly rushing to arrive for a party (I'd already dropped my DC and saw them literally running down the road). What I meant to say was they were all looking forward to this DC arriving.

Within days I made another faux pas. Was walking with two mums who have dogs, they were heading my way and we were just generally chit chatting. I needed to veer off in a different direction so I bid them farewell and as I walked off I waved and said "see you later, bye dogs"..... it looked like I was calling the women dogs 😂

Edited

This just gave me so much joy 😂

FrancesFlute · 02/12/2023 21:23

A couple of years ago I took in a parcel for a neighbour. It was usually the wife who came to get them and we'd usually have a nice chat for a few minutes. One evening the bell went and I opened it expecting to see the neighbour but it was her good looking husband. I'd never spoken to him before, just waved and smiled etc. and he started to talk but I interrupted him and said 'oh your package, I'll just grab it!' before turning and picking it up from the hall floor. Why I called it a package and not a parcel I have no idea and was mortified.

Popcorn23 · 02/12/2023 23:49

My email to my colleague: "I know you are very busty today..." I meant busy!

SmokySilverShine · 03/12/2023 05:40

BabyFireflyx · 07/10/2023 05:38

@SplendidUtterly

Went to the pharmacy inside Asda to pick up a prescription. DD around 4 years old sitting in the trolley seat. She announced "Ooh Mummy! Look at that big black cock!"
I was speechless. The pharmacist was mute but visibly shaking both facially and hands, and trying desperately to be professional and hide the grin on his face. There is a normal sized black clock on the wall in the pharmacy which has always been there.
All these years later, I still cant look at the damn thing because I go into a fit of the giggles.

Also had daughter quite taken with clocks, who liked to loudly notice them in public, whilst not able to pronounce the word properly.

Also young nephew, who adored Hoovers (vacuum cleaners ) who shrieked Hooer Hooer at he top of his voice if he saw one in a shop whilst shopping

SleekButMeek · 03/12/2023 10:22

New to a job as a hotel receptionist years ago. Starting an early morning shift and I was told to go and get a set of keys from the previous shifts night manager. Night managers had their own room in the hotel and slept overnight.

I knock on his door, and hear a sleepy mumble inside "yep, just a sec". Male manager, used to the routine, didn't bother getting dressed for this key exchange. Undies on, but sod all else - but I didnt know this.

Night manager thus opens his door in just his y-fronts, hands me the keys and proceeds to give me a quick sleepy update on something from the shift before, then shuts the door and shuffles straight off back to bed again.

Apparently, he always did this. Couldn't sleep with clothes on, and couldn't be arsed putting clothes on just for several seconds of communication. So he always answered the door in just his underwear.

I go back down to reception and immediately exclaim to the rest of the team on entering recrption "why didn't anyone tell me that Brian comes in his pants when you knock him up?!"

Obviously meant to say "why didn't anyone mention to me that Brian answers the door in just his underwear when collecting the keys from him" but I was shocked and I just blurted it out.

And an older Australian couple were stood there, checking out. It was 6am and we didn't normally have people checking out that early (country retreat nestled in the countryside). I still remember the look on the womans face inparticular. I could die all over again as I realise how I've phrased it terribly then try to dig myself out of that very big hole to these guests, and then them scuttling off wondering what sort of sordid place they'd been staying at.

Colleagues never let me live it down.

VioletSkies12 · 03/12/2023 10:38

I called a senior boss of mine “darling “ once which isn’t awful but did make me cringe as implied some sort of intimacy and affection which clearly isn’t there !

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 03/12/2023 10:53

I’m a lecturer and was in Boots one day in the summer and ran into an ex student. We chatted for a bit and he said he was stocking up for going on holiday - I glanced in his basket expecting to see SPF and actually saw about a million packs of condoms and a thing of lube. He muttered something about Ibiza.

VioletSkies12 · 03/12/2023 13:57

@StTropezTan I am crying at yours ! Thank you I really needed the laugh x

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