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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I be embarrassed about this or am I overthinking..

135 replies

MyDogsPaws · 06/10/2023 19:14

I just met my lovely neighbour( older man) in my local Asda and for some unknown reason, clearly lacking anything better to say and allowing my socially awkward verbal diarrhoea to spew forth, I said the words “oh you look like you’ve got an exciting weekend planned with your wine and sausages” to which he laughed awkwardly and hastily departed. Now I can’t stop thinking about what he thought I meant about the wine and sausages 😬

Does anyone else get in trouble with socially awkward verbal diarrhoea and then overthink it for the rest of their lives?

OP posts:
littleripper · 06/10/2023 21:39

My lovely nephew (13) came and kissed me on both cheeks and I said "thank you for the French kiss" Then we both died a little and have avoided each other ever since.

Dolly567 · 06/10/2023 21:41

This is hilarious 😂😂

Isometimeswonder · 06/10/2023 21:41

I'm here for the "If a man said this to a woman there would be outrage," comments.....
Just joking BTW, am loving these tales!

Maraa · 06/10/2023 21:42

Yep. Literally me tonight on the dog walk when my dog tried to hump another dog and I said “he’s learnt that from his dad”. The dogs never watched us have sex. I don’t know why I said that

Original poster
MyDogsPaws · 06/10/2023 21:45

I really am howling at some of these and feel infinitely better about the wine/sausages situation. @Maraa I can just imagine the other dogs owner puzzling over what you meant by that for the rest of their walk 😂

OP posts:
EdithGrantham · 06/10/2023 21:50

Maraa · 06/10/2023 21:42

Yep. Literally me tonight on the dog walk when my dog tried to hump another dog and I said “he’s learnt that from his dad”. The dogs never watched us have sex. I don’t know why I said that

🤣🤣🤣

Thepeopleversuswork · 06/10/2023 21:51

I do things like this on a daily basis and never give them a moment's thought tbh. Life is too short to worry about stuff like this.

Onlinetherapist · 06/10/2023 21:52

Yes! Also in a shop, just browsing. But instead of saying that to the gentleman asking ‘can I help you?’ I actually reply ‘no, I’m just looking at your bits!!’ 😳

sweetpeaorchestra · 06/10/2023 21:55

Love these. My mum never got over saying to her manager Richard “Here’s your dick, Book!”I think it was more she got such giggles straight after and he was very unamused 😂
I still remember saying “bye-a!” loudly (like ‘hiya’ but NOT A THING ) to the guy I really fancied at college age 17 and dying after.

Stickly · 06/10/2023 21:56

Shamelessly place marking... this thread is gold. Also a victim of foot in mouth disease here but I can't think of antrjing nearly as funny as what I've read!

Guiltyfeethavegotnorhythm0 · 06/10/2023 21:56

It gets even worse when your children are older (sons) and you say something that comes out the wrong way or could sound sexual and they are howling at something you say . Which is unfortunately often for me .

Sillybillybythesea · 06/10/2023 21:59

When my DCs were young, I had an evening job at a holiday cottage rental firm. One night, I’d sold a week in a cottage and was taking a deposit from a guy. I don’t know how I did it but ended up asking him to complete and return his f baum, instead of booking form! There was stunned silence at the other end as my colleague collapsed in hysteria at the desk beside me! It was 30 years ago and still haunts me but then I’ve become well known for my faux pas!🤣

Boundoverbyacat · 06/10/2023 21:59

@saltinesandcoffeecups impressed someone dealing with a customers’ gas issue was on a call with the VP of the company….

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 06/10/2023 22:07

I was helping out with an event, and it turned out to clash massively with England's world cup semi-final in 2018, so at the last minute we decided to put it back by about three hours to make sure the streets would have cleared, not be drowned out by noise etc. Updated social media, printed off a ton of flyers to hand out for people.
I was wandering up & down the street outside in case anyone hadn't seen the changed time, giving out flyers, being generally lovely. A guy came up to me, took a flyer and said 'must be a nightmare having to change the time!' I smiled & nodded 'yep, some people won't be able to make it now, so I'm out here trying to make sure people know!'
Him: So you're hoping to pick up passing trade from the street haha!

I have never seen someone go from flesh coloured to beetroot face so quickly.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 06/10/2023 22:13

Boundoverbyacat · 06/10/2023 21:59

@saltinesandcoffeecups impressed someone dealing with a customers’ gas issue was on a call with the VP of the company….

Sorry to disappoint if I gave you a ray of hope about customer service… but we weren’t a utility..instead utility adjacent, so my customer was the utility.

If it helps I know many a utility VP that got hands on involved in an end user’s issue. So it does happen! (So I can restore that ray of hope!)

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 06/10/2023 22:14

Went to a conference recently. I was the the only person available and was my first conference in my new role . Was networking/small chattingas you should do with a really beautiful looking man.

Him: "Oh you are from Norfolk, did you come with Richard?"

Me: "No I came on my own for the first time and it's all rather exciting"

He laughed and I just mumbled something into my large glass of Pinot and said "oh look, the toilets"

Ffs! I'm 43; year's old!!! 🤣🤣

StTropezTan · 06/10/2023 22:17

I was on a first aid course and in order to finally pass, a role play was set up where we had to walk into a room and find an unconscious body on the floor and then be tested on how we dealt with the ‘casualty’

Once each one of us had done our test, we then had to lie on the floor and be the next victim for the next trainee. Part of the exercise was to check all over for potential broken bones. ‘My casualty’ was a shy young man in his early 20s - same age as my DCs.

We had to do a running commentary so the examiner was aware that we knew the procedure.
As we’d been instructed, I ran my hands carefully down this lad’s sides, the outside of his legs and then up his inside leg. I then solemnly announced, “No sign of any stiffness or swelling in the area“ And then realised what I’d said and got the hysterical giggles. I guess it was nerves at being observed, but I was old enough to be his mother and he was absolutely mortified! I still cringe about it now and I’m sure he thought I was some kind of unhinged rampant cougar.

I don’t know how, but I did pass the course.

SpringHexagon · 06/10/2023 22:17

I overthink stuff all the time, and there are times I come out with stuff and don't give it a second thought, when I probably should.
For example, the other day I told my senior at work 'you're just trying to up me' instead of 'you're just trying to get one up on me', like do one step better than me. We both laughed.

My neighbour came to my door one day to collect a parcel from me and told me he couldn't remember what he had ordered. Queue me going to his door a few days later to collect a parcel of my own, only to blurt out 'so what had you ordered the other day?'. I was mortified that I had just had the brass neck to ask the guy across the road, what his Amazon order contained 🙈 I still think about it and chuckle.

Cocoalover · 06/10/2023 22:18

Maraa · 06/10/2023 21:42

Yep. Literally me tonight on the dog walk when my dog tried to hump another dog and I said “he’s learnt that from his dad”. The dogs never watched us have sex. I don’t know why I said that

😂😂😂😂 that made me LOL 😂😂😂😂

Guiltyfeethavegotnorhythm0 · 06/10/2023 22:21

StTropezTan · 06/10/2023 22:17

I was on a first aid course and in order to finally pass, a role play was set up where we had to walk into a room and find an unconscious body on the floor and then be tested on how we dealt with the ‘casualty’

Once each one of us had done our test, we then had to lie on the floor and be the next victim for the next trainee. Part of the exercise was to check all over for potential broken bones. ‘My casualty’ was a shy young man in his early 20s - same age as my DCs.

We had to do a running commentary so the examiner was aware that we knew the procedure.
As we’d been instructed, I ran my hands carefully down this lad’s sides, the outside of his legs and then up his inside leg. I then solemnly announced, “No sign of any stiffness or swelling in the area“ And then realised what I’d said and got the hysterical giggles. I guess it was nerves at being observed, but I was old enough to be his mother and he was absolutely mortified! I still cringe about it now and I’m sure he thought I was some kind of unhinged rampant cougar.

I don’t know how, but I did pass the course.

🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

Louise303 · 06/10/2023 22:25

Done the same except with a waitress I was on my own with three young kids and had just said love you to my son who was crying. The waitress went in the back and then I could see about 5 people from the kitchen stood in the doorway talking and looking at me.

Louise303 · 06/10/2023 22:36

My most embarrassing moment was when my son was toilet training we only had an upstairs toilet at the time. One day my husband shouted me and said he is coming up there. I was busy and presumed he meant my son so I shouted come on baby and I will help you pull your pants down. I heard footsteps and turned to see a red faced man staring at me in shock.I had forgotten that someone was coming to fix a radiator. I couldn't even explain to him I stuttered and went downstairs to the kitchen till he had gone.

BeginningToLookALotLike · 06/10/2023 22:44

Best Friday night thread ever!

GG1986 · 06/10/2023 22:45

Yeah I do this all the time. Waffle on like a complete twat, then walk away thinking my god I sound like an idiot and think about it for a few days after!

ZebraDanios · 06/10/2023 22:45

Love “here’s your dick, Book” 😆