Should I be embarrassed about this or am I overthinking..

[MyDogsPaws]

I just met my lovely neighbour( older man) in my local Asda and for some unknown reason, clearly lacking anything better to say and allowing my socially awkward verbal diarrhoea to spew forth, I said the words “oh you look like you’ve got an exciting weekend planned with your wine and sausages” to which he laughed awkwardly and hastily departed. Now I can’t stop thinking about what he thought I meant about the wine and sausages 😬

Does anyone else get in trouble with socially awkward verbal diarrhoea and then overthink it for the rest of their lives?

@Louise303 You win!

😭😭😭

I’m still on the first page and the comments have absolutely killed me😂 OP, trust me it isn’t just you.

I have so many examples it’s ridiculous but the most recent one was last week. Last Monday my manager wasn’t in the office because he wasn’t feeling well. He had to come in the next day due to an visit from Head Office. When I went in his office to ask him something I said, ‘wow you really don’t look good’ in quite a negative tone. He looked at me and said ‘well thanks CeeChyna, what can I do you for?’

What I had meant to say was ‘wow you really don’t look good, are you sure you’re okay?’ in a more concerned tone which he would have appreciated. He was definitely pissed with me😅

Another one was when my neighbour came to collect a parcel from my house which I’d turned away. The delivery driver said the parcel was for number 34 (I’m 11 so no bloody clue who lives there) and asked if I’d take it. I said no as I don’t know them.

That same evening my next door neighbour knocks on my door asking to collect this parcel. I said ‘oh I didn’t take it in because it said number 34 and I didn’t know who it was.’ I then went on to say, ‘sorry what’s your door number again’ knowing full well she lives THE NEXT DOOR DOWN.

Turns out she’d bought flowers for one of the neighbours upstairs as their husband had died. She left a note for the courier asking to leave it with me as she’d be at work at the time of the delivery. It’s all very confusing and makes no sense but I still cringe at asking her door number when I know she’s number bloody 10. She wasn’t impressed😂

Ah, these have made me laugh, it's nice to know others have their awkward moments as well!

I was at work chatting with a colleague about new freezer purchases. She was debating getting an upright or chest style. I was on my way to get a cup of coffee, walking past reception and told her "I've got a small chest', just as a few managers were walking in the front door...

It's true, I do have a small chest.

I do say silly things a lot, but often they are accompanied or in response to me doing something idiotic often because of embarrassment or nerves. One time as a teen around a friends house whose mother didn't like me at all, I absentmindedly picked up a hair brush and began to liberally brush my hair in front of the living room mirror and my friends mother only to see their mother go puce with rage as she spluttered out 'Do you mind? That's the dogs brush youre brushing YOUR hair with!' In such a disgusted tone it was clear she thought the dogs would catch something from me or something . Embarrassed and a bit stung I retorted back 'oh it's OK as my parents regularly treat our dogs in case we accidentally take anything back home with us. Thanks for the warning though as my mam goes mad when she finds out we haven't been careful and have ended up bringing all sorts home with us AGAIN!'. I then gingerly places the brush down as though it was covered in something nasty. Not my smartest move though because I was not made any more welcome than usual after that and was kept outside more often than not. She disliked me from the start and I never did find out why, but it hardly matters now as it was 24 years ago now lol xxxc

Someone I knew in passing that I hadn't seen for a couple of months.
Her: "Hi! I haven't seen you in ages!"
Me: "Good!"

In my defence she always used to say "how are you?"

🙈

I bumped into someone I've known for 15 years and said "Oh hi, how are you? Lovely to meet you im justanothermanicmonday1" 😂😂😂 she just looked at me confused. It's the social anxiety in me.

This is a bit identifying, and slightly different to the theme of the thread but too good a story not to share:

I have a friend who's a vet - hes tall, muscly, handsome, Dutch. Total package. He was trying to examine a little white nervous dog who kept crawling up the owner's (large, busty) chest. As he was feeling the dog to examine it, he felt a small lump. He kept rubbing it and feeling around it, and said to the woman - oh dear, I think Fluffy has a lump on her underside. The woman looked at him and said 'Really? Are you sure? Keep checking!' And then smiled at him. He then realized he had been gently rubbing her left nipple. Poor guy was absolutely mortified!

I've told this before but here goes.
DD was about 3 and I took her into a public toilet in Asda so I could have a wee. Someone went into the cubicle next to us and let out a hose like powerful loud pee stream.
DD: "There's a mans in here!"
Me: "Shhhh"
DD: "Well done mans! That was a big wee!"

... she clapped.

How I kept her quiet without smothering her for several minutes before I dared leave the cubicle I don’t know, but she's lived to the age of 11

I dare not post her pharmacy story!

Please share the story!! 😂

@BabyFireflyx so funny

@SplendidUtterly

Went to the pharmacy inside Asda to pick up a prescription. DD around 4 years old sitting in the trolley seat. She announced "Ooh Mummy! Look at that big black cock!"
I was speechless. The pharmacist was mute but visibly shaking both facially and hands, and trying desperately to be professional and hide the grin on his face. There is a normal sized black clock on the wall in the pharmacy which has always been there.
All these years later, I still cant look at the damn thing because I go into a fit of the giggles.

Yes, all the time. I have to train myself to keep my mouth shut.

Anyone done that stupid thing I often do when waiting staff say, “Enjoy your meal”
I spontaneously reply, “And you too”
Why do I do it?!

Once, going through an airport, I treated myself to some makeup I’d been after for ages. I was so pleased to get it, I nipped into the toilets to open it and try it.

After removing it from the packaging, I looked around and couldn’t spot a bin to put the wrapping in. I then saw what I thought was a battered carrier bag on the floor by the sinks that already looked full of rubbish so I put it in there.

A very peed off women then asked me exactly what I was doing putting litter in her luggage?!

I apologised profusely - then made it even worse by saying, “I’m really sorry, I thought your bag was some kind of dustbin” 🤦‍♀️

Anyone done that stupid thing I often do when waiting staff say, “Enjoy your meal”
I spontaneously reply, “And you too”
Why do I do it?!

I do it on the phone all the time.
'Thanks for calling Octopus Energy today'.
'Yes you too' 🤦‍♀️

Which, of course, means you REALLY need to share the pharmacy story!

Please!

It’s here @Nanaof1

I met with an old client I'd not seen for a few years. As a group we had a great dinner and as we were departing he said something along the lines of "great to see you again, let's not leave it too long until we meet again?"
I wanted to reciprocate the positive feeling and in my head was going to say either "well hopefully soon" or "well hopefully not too long".
Instead I shook his hand and whilst looking right in the eye with a big smile accidentally said "well hopefully not too soon!" and got straight into a cab which drove off immediately.
I'll always be haunted by the stunned look on his face through the window.

In my previous apartment, I was getting my mail one day when a man opened the box next to mine and said "hi I've just moved into the apartment opposite you". I replied "hi, welcome to the building I hope you'll be happy here, it's a great place to live".

He didn't say anything back but just stood there smiling at me. There was an awkward silence where I waited for him to say something but he didn't and he wasn't walking away so desperate for something to say for some reason I said " I viewed your apartment once, you've got 3 toilets". God knows why.

He did of course, then walk away.

Thank you! I laughed so hard at that story and totally missed the author's name.😆😳

{rolling my eyes at myself}

We once had a really famous ex footballer at work doing an event. I had never seen him before, and our big boss was also visiting. I thought the footballer was our big boss so I was like hi x, how are you? Lovely to see you!
He was confused but was very polite about it 😂

I'd been asked to teach part of a course about weight management and modifications for conditions that needed consideration like chronic kidney disease or some specific medications.

I kept running into the attendees in the supermarket. Each of whom, every time, expressed their disappointment that my basket was fruit, vegetables, and entirely in line with what I'd been teaching.

A few years ago I was sitting in the A&E department waiting to be seen when a man, also waiting, struck up a conversation with me.

We chatted about how long we'd been there and he commented that the chairs were incredibly uncomfortable.

My reply?

"I've sat on much worse"

He laughed, the woman next to me laughed, I went red and fucked off outside 😂

When my son was a teenager we had had not long finished lunch and he was lying down on his bed, when I popped my head round the door to ask cheerily if he had enjoyed his ham shank?