AIBU For Not Appreciating Spa Weekend Gift?

[CzTsKr]

Hello.

I, 35F, have been dating boyfriend 30M for ~3months.

For my birthday he has booked a spa weekend together.
I don't think I want to go.
I have never been to a spa before, so correct me if I'm wrong.

But:

1. I don't want to have any massages because I don't like strangers touching me
2. I also don't want to have any massages because I do not want oil on my back. I have battled severe back acne before and it has taken many months to get it under control (still battling). I want to keep my back acne-free.
3. I don't want to have any facials for same reason as point above. I have had severe facial acne previously that has left me scarred. I won't have anything on my face other than my specifically selected products I have now used for the past 12 months. I have also spent around £2,000 over the past three years on medical acne treatments, and scar treatments.
4. I find it stressful to be told last minute that I am going to a spa where I will be in a swimsuit (I assume?). I'm a hairy gal and I need to plan hair removal accordingly. I am currently undergoing laser hair removal so can't wax until treatments have finished (only just started 8x sessions spaced every 6 weeks).

I am just panicking. I don't want to go.

Since I have never been to a spa before, what do you do there? Is it possible I would enjoy despite the above?

Am I being ungrateful? Am I horrible if I say I don't want to go? I don't want to be fake and pretend like I love the idea. I don't want to be not true to myself and who I am because that gives an impression of someone who is not me...

Obviously he is trying to do something nice for me... I know that. But I just don't think I will enjoy it?

If I do go, what should I pack please?

I would hate a spa weekend, I don't don't like anything to do with being wet and don't want to be touched by a stranger.

Check out the place online if you can, I'd be looking for anything I can do fully dressed but if you like swimming you'll be fine.

I went to one with DH and it was horrible, sitting around in a wet swimsuit, least relaxing thing I've ever experienced and he was traumatised by his very thorough massage. He ran out still covered in oil and muttering about how the masseuse had touched his naked buttocks! I don't think it's for us.

That's okay.

My acne was really so incredibly bad. I was basically disfigured. It was cystic. I couldn't smile or anything, for the pain. When I say I had acne, people really don't understand what I went through honestly.

I think mine was caused by a combination of coming off of the pill, incredible stress in my life at the time, poor sleeping pattern and general poor mental health at the time (apparently this is linked with acne).

It took me over 2 years to get it under control.
Yes I was on lymecycline but no longer am.
I still get an occasional cystic spot that takes like a month to clear but it's usually triggered by me taking my eye off the ball with my routine.

My routine now:

MORNING:
Spray my face, neck, and back with Boots tea tree oil and witch hazel back spray (I pour half out the bottle and add LOADS of 100% pure tea tree oil to fill it up to the top, my skin can handle this, some people's can't).
Get into warm shower and let the warm water swill over sprayed areas.
Wash face and back (for my back I use a body sponge on a stick I bought from Home Bargains) with Acnecide 5% wash (benzoyl peroxide). Try to leave it on for a minute or so before washing it off.
Get out shower, dry face using fresh piece of kitchen roll (not towel which could have dirt or bacteria on it).
Moisturise face/neck with Aveeno daily moisturiser (its non comedogenic)
Sprinkle back with talc powder (put dressing gown on so the excess is rubbed off before getting dressed).

GETTING READY:
I use non comedogenic SPF. Acnecide do one.
Makeup - I just use stuff I like. I don't wear it every day, and I have my nightime shower to wash it off as soon as I get home.

NIGHT TIME:
Exactly the same shower routine as morning.
Then, for face/neck...:
When getting out shower at night time I do not moisturise my face.
Overnight, I put on Acnecide 5% gel (benzoyl peroxide) on typically affected areas - for me this is chin and jawline.
And for back...:
When getting out shower, after drying myself I again spray my back with my tea tree oil concoction. Then I put my PJs on. Then after 10mins I sprinkle more talc powder onto my back under my PJs.

Note:
Wash dressing gown/PJs as much as possible.

Note:
I find this to be a very expensive and time consuming routine but for me it's the only thing that works without taking medication.

Note:
I do this routine every single day, whether I have acne or not.

Note:
Benzoyl peroxide can sometimes cause bleach marks on clothing/PJs/towels, just so you know.

Also try to reduce stress in your life and have a good sleep routine.

I hope that's of some help to you xx

I responded to you. Hope it posted. I'm new to using Mumsnet, thought I had pressed reply.

Does your boyfriend have any idea at all about your skin issues?

and are you worried about him seeing you hairy, or other people? I am guessing that you and he are intimate, so he must be used to your body hair and skin?