To think you don’t need to stay home to look after a 15 year old?

[sleepysimbaa]

Colleague was suppose to be in the office yesterday as we had a presentation to give. Their excuse was their child isn’t well and said child is 15.

They made a joke today that said child asked if their friend could come over as they weren’t feeling well either.

(child doesn’t have additional needs)

It really just depends on the kid and how ill they are or whether they are also a bit down.

There may be much more going on.
The kid might just have a really horrible cold and needs the boost of a caring parent to bring them juice/water etc.

They do sometimes just need someone, even your average NT teen.

I don't really want to get into this but Lemsip type remedies are not recommended for under 16s.

An expectation of presenteeism is usually the hallmark of a shitty culture within your work environment.

You have no right to judge why your colleague is absent or to pick over whatever scant details you've been given about it in order to decide whether their absence is 'worthy' or not.

It's between them and their line manager.

Depends on the child’s general health, SEN, how poorly child is, if they have help to hand if required

Perhaps colleague doesn't want to confide in the office due to judgement raining down. 15 year old could have serious MH issues that she needs to support or supervise. FA to do with you!

I would stay home with mine if they were sick enough like tonsillitis or something. Some regular illnesses make you feel like crap and I’d want to be there if they were feverish.

I know parents like this too.

i can see it from all points of view expressed on this thread including that OPs daughter might be more seriously than she’s letting on but I have an old friend who tells me everything about her kids so when she says her child is off with a cold I know that’s what it is.

And she will happily call in sick for work for reasons like that and she only works two days a week to begin with. Her children are all a bit reliant on her and lack independence although they are for the most part level headed.

A poster said their boss likes to tell women to go home and be mums. Hope he says the equivalent to male parents? Or indeed anyone else who has caring responsibilities.

She actively want to continue showering her son and daughter beyond age 11 and 13? Interesting!

It really depends on the 15 year old and what is going on. You might not know the full extent. Your colleague has judged her 15 year old needs support, so you have to accept that.

I've had to leave work to pick up a 15 year old with extreme period pain. Some might say it's just period pain, but it wasn't that simple. I sometimes have to stay home for my 20 year old due to a condition they have.

@sleepysimbaa
One of them 15 year olds who still get there arses wiped for them, know a few of them myself.

You may not know the full story ( and why should you ) - the teen may have mental health issues or is going through some things ,
and the cold was a cover story. it really isn't your business - and if you are the boss, some bosses are very understanding and one could share things, others are not - so if she has legitimate days to use, then it is what it is.

Why do you know so many details about your colleague's child's wellbeing, exact illness, exact mental state etc.

Either you have no idea of their true situation or you're.a bit over familiar

All very dependent on the child and the illness. I would leave if it was just a cold and would call them every couple of hours. But if the child felt particularly bad with it and/or asked me to stay, I couldn't leave them.

Not knowing the circumstances, you can't judge. If my 15 year old had a cold I'd go to work but if they were depressed or feeling bad mentally I'd be home looking after them without question.

It depends on the teen and how ill they are. Ive left my 15 year old home when ill but got home earlier/worked at home so not alone all day as its no fun when unwell

Worth noting that if it was a personal emergency she didn't want to share she'd use cold as s cover. My dad took a day off to attend hospital because I had a mental health issue at 22 and his boss knew the truth but colleagues were to told cold

My own colleagues were told medical tests

Don't assume you're owed the truth about s colleague's personal life

I work for a very successful ftse 100 engineering company and we get up to 15 days a year caregivers leave which is paid. It’s to support any dependant or relative and I’ll be taking it soon to help elderly mum move into sheltered housing. I work really hard and am more loyal because I know using my leave won’t be questioned or denied. My boss always says ‘family first, health first’. I respect him and want to help him make our team look good! If my son was 15 and unwell I’d work from home especially if he had a temperature - depends on the ailment. Good employers become even more successful, even better employers with higher performing staff when they treat them with care. It’s how it should be. Our whole (male)Supply team flew to Scotland recently so a heavily pregnant director didn’t have to fly. It’s called mutual respect.

The issue here isn't the mother wanting to care for her sick child but that you're so bothered by it.

It's ultimately none of your business.

I'd be thinking if a 15 year old can't make a Lemsip/take ibuprofen responsibly, I'd have not done my job as a parent to raise them towards adulthood.
you can have a perfectly well adjusted 15yo, who babysits siblings, has a part time job and chips in help wise and they still might look enough like shit when they’re sick that you tell them they can stay in bed and you’ll bring everything up as they need it. Some of us leave the house extremely early in the morning and have to make a call based on a few minutes of interaction and, knowing how crap you feel when sick, say ‘look you just go back to sleep I’ll be here today’ without it meaning you’ve made them regress to the point they’re at now!!!

Sorry- Before the point they’re at now😉😅

Being ill enough to need meds and time off school is unusual for my teen DS's. I'd be worried and want to be around. If it's "normal" for your teens today with illness alone, it would be different for someone who never experienced it. The same as kids who've grown up using the tube would be fine on a day out in London, but a 15yo doing it for the first time would make parents nervous.

Maybe she had to do the colleague's work?

Well if an adult decided voluntarily to fuck about with medication then I'd call that the Darwin Effect. (Genuinely forgetful due to confusion/dementia/effects of other meds etc is different from deciding to "chance their arm")

If a 15 year old had a cold, an actual cold not something more serious, yes I would expect them to understand and stick to the concept of "every 4 hours, no more than 4 in 24 hours" or whatever the instructions would be. It's hardly onerous to read a packet.

Well if an adult decided voluntarily to fuck about with medication then I'd call that the Darwin Effect.
Oh come on we’ve all tried to hit a cold with everything possible- living on lemsips, paracetamol and cold and flu remedies or cough medicine. Even things like lockets have warnings on dosage but I know a lot of people who work their way through a packet because their throat is killing them. You feel shot and not thinking properly so you chance your arm but sorry I’m dragging this off track because I don’t think a 15 yo would bother with all of that, in fact they’re more likely to take nothing 😅😅😅

Sometimes it’s best to accept the excuse for what it is and u derstand that whatever is going on in that home is their business.

it could be an entirely different reason that they needed to be at home with their child and they didn’t want to announce it to the rest of the office.

During the pandemic 2nd lockdown I gave my kids mental health days, and I took a day off to be with them.

So maybe it's that, teens struggling. Need a mum day.