Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I complain about this?

162 replies

hollywally54 · 06/10/2023 12:25

I know this has already been done recently but my year 7 ds came home from school with a letter yesterday regarding toilet use. From this week, only children with a pre approved toilet pass will be able to leave lessons to go to the toilet. And in order to get one of these parents will need to provide medical evidence of a long term health issue.

They have generously said that children suffering from temporary issues such as infections or periods (?!?!) can get a pass but these will also need to be approved.

I feel outraged to be honest. Of course there will be kids who take the piss (no pun intended) but there are a hell of a lot of shy, genuine children who are probably going to feel really uncomfortable about this blanket ban on toilet use. What if someone has an accident in class? Can you imagine the shame? Surely teachers are able to quite quickly determine the kids who are trying to skive and those who are genuine? Is it worth complaining about this?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 06/10/2023 12:26

I would. Surely it’s against human rights, or something, to be denied access to a toilet.
What if they felt sick ? Do they want them to throw up in the class room.

wutheringkites · 06/10/2023 12:27

This is ridiculous. What if a child is feeling unwell?

JennaLi · 06/10/2023 12:28

That's insane. Suddenly you get major stomach pain but you haven't got a pass? They would be better manning the toilets to combat the vaping problem rather than ban genuine people needing the loo!

Snoopystick · 06/10/2023 12:30

We’ve a similar issue with school and told DD to just go if she needs to go and we’ll deal with school

Eileen101 · 06/10/2023 12:30

I can't imagine many shy girls wanting to have to get a pass for their period!

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 06/10/2023 12:34

Teachers apply common sense.

If someone is ill, they are allowed to go.

When Child X, in Year 7, disrupts every single lesson because he feels like it, maybe not.

Imagine every single kid going to the toilet whenever they fancied 10 minutes in the corridor.

That's what happens when there's no policy.

We aren't daft. Or cruel.

99.9% of kids can wait until break. The ones that take the piss (pun intended) are the ones that mean that .1% need a pass

Hercisback · 06/10/2023 12:35

What are you complaining for?

Most school days are structured so that there's not more than 2 hours without toilet access.

The safeguarding issues that arise from unsupervised toilet access during lessons are horrible to deal with. The funding for supervision isn't there. This really is schools only option.

There is some discretion. Illness is dealt with via medical not the toilet.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 06/10/2023 12:35

JennaLi · 06/10/2023 12:28

That's insane. Suddenly you get major stomach pain but you haven't got a pass? They would be better manning the toilets to combat the vaping problem rather than ban genuine people needing the loo!

The smoking and vaping are one of the reasons we have rules about when they can go.

They arrange times with their mates to meet up in the loo and have a fag

HolyMilkBoobiesBatman · 06/10/2023 12:35

I despise these bans; unfair on anyone who might just get caught short once in a while, what about sudden illness such as a vomiting bug which can have sudden onset.

Also massively unfair on those who DO get a toilet pass - essentially broadcasting to their peer group that they have a medical issue/on their period - information which they have every right to want to be kept confidential.

TibetanTerrah · 06/10/2023 12:35

I can't imagine having to tell a teacher (even via a note) every time I came on. I really suffered with my periods as a teen (I would suddenly get inexplicably hot and have to rush out of class to throw up with virtually no warning).

No one should be shamed or prevented from using the bathroom ffs.

newnamethanks · 06/10/2023 12:36

I recall I had an Infants teacher who felt the same. Made my 5 year old self stand in line until I peed myself. Cow. Object. It's not a nice feeling.

aquietlifeplease · 06/10/2023 12:39

That might be what some teachers do but not all, my daughter bled through a pad and two pairs of trousers at school last year, had to argue to be let out to go to the toilet and then got bollocked by a teacher that found her roaming the school looking for an unlocked toilet to use! When I spoke to the teacher they agreed it had happened as my daughter told it! Their reasoning was they had no proof she was on her period! She said next time it happens she’ll personally deliver her pad to their office! This is a yr11 student who’s never had a negative point never mind detention!

Boundoverbyacat · 06/10/2023 12:40

A period isn’t ‘an issue’, it’s a normal bodily function like others the toilet is used for. This would enrage me

Hercisback · 06/10/2023 12:41

What's your solution OP?

Pre this system in our school we had 100ish kids out of lesson. Wandering corridors, all under the "I need the toilet" guise.

Bwessed · 06/10/2023 12:41

My sons school have this. He said all the 'naighty/disruptive' kids have them and noone else is allowed to go.

They also lock the toilets during lessons and don't always unlock them all at break/lunch. So there's just a couple in use that are absolutely packed /stink.

He's come home on the verge of peeing himself several times.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 06/10/2023 12:42

Boundoverbyacat · 06/10/2023 12:40

A period isn’t ‘an issue’, it’s a normal bodily function like others the toilet is used for. This would enrage me

That's exactly why girls on their periods get to go.

You'd be surprised how many have about 6 periods a month though.

Out of curiosity, what do non teachers suggest we do to stop 26 out of 30 kids going to the toilet in every lesson? Seriously?

sprigatito · 06/10/2023 12:42

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 06/10/2023 12:34

Teachers apply common sense.

If someone is ill, they are allowed to go.

When Child X, in Year 7, disrupts every single lesson because he feels like it, maybe not.

Imagine every single kid going to the toilet whenever they fancied 10 minutes in the corridor.

That's what happens when there's no policy.

We aren't daft. Or cruel.

99.9% of kids can wait until break. The ones that take the piss (pun intended) are the ones that mean that .1% need a pass

Unfortunately some of you are indeed both cruel and daft, and this fashion for authoritarian blanket policies in schools is damaging and dangerous.

Girls are suffering UTIs and avoiding school during menstruation because of this culture. Kids with mental health problems and additional needs are struggling to learn because these policies drive their stress levels up (that's when they aren't in isolation, or "reflection", or "reset" or whatever Orwellian euphemism for solitary confinement is in vogue this week)

I know of an autistic teenager who wet himself during an exam, in front of the entire year group, because a draconian policy like this was applied by a staff member who lacked the brain power to apply common sense. It triggered a breakdown which that young person is still recovering from.

Testina · 06/10/2023 12:43

I cannot imagine what the teachers are dealing with.

This week we had a letter home to say there had been four interrupted lessons from smoke alarm evacuations so far this term, all from a build up of vape fumes in the toilets. They are currently converting all toilets to ones where individual cubicles open directly into the corridor.
Money that is needed for education.

Last term they put CCTV into the hand washing area of the enclosed old toilets (photos home to show no view into cubicles) because of vandalism. Not just a mess, but cisterns ripped from walls.

It is not even considered a bad or rough school!

I have a child in Y11 who frequently mentions her human rights, around these toilet passes. But in 4 years she also has to admit she’s never seen a teacher persistently refuse a child or anyone soiling/wetting/blooding themselves.

So whilst my gut feel is this is madness, just let them quietly get up and go as needed… I actually think that I (and most parents) have no idea how bad it is in schools.

whosaidtha · 06/10/2023 12:44

Kids in y7 are not going to wet themselves. If they get that desperate they can walk out and explain later. I have a job where I can't go to the toilet whenever I like so I make sure I try before I start. Kids will learn to go at break.

JustFrustrated · 06/10/2023 12:44

I would and have.

My DDs school lock all the toilets outside of first break and lunch.

First break is 10 minutes. Lunch is half an hour. The school has 900 students and 16 toilets for the girls.....

(Also 15 for the boys obvs)

I wondered why my DD kept bleeding through a pad, tampon and period pants and I finally got to the bottom of it. She had no fucking time to use the bathroom.

I'm in with the school next week to discuss this, along with other issues, further.

A toilet is a basic human right, and as an adult I don't have to provide evidence, tell my boss, or request permission - even during meetings, to use the bathroom.

And I'm an adult that has quite a good handle now on her bathroom needs.

Testina · 06/10/2023 12:45

Oh and info from my teen is that kids in different classes agree in advance what time they’re all going to, “need the toilet” so that they can meet up for a vape and a social. Every day.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 06/10/2023 12:46

sprigatito · 06/10/2023 12:42

Unfortunately some of you are indeed both cruel and daft, and this fashion for authoritarian blanket policies in schools is damaging and dangerous.

Girls are suffering UTIs and avoiding school during menstruation because of this culture. Kids with mental health problems and additional needs are struggling to learn because these policies drive their stress levels up (that's when they aren't in isolation, or "reflection", or "reset" or whatever Orwellian euphemism for solitary confinement is in vogue this week)

I know of an autistic teenager who wet himself during an exam, in front of the entire year group, because a draconian policy like this was applied by a staff member who lacked the brain power to apply common sense. It triggered a breakdown which that young person is still recovering from.

Go on then.
What should we do.
Because if every child in my class went to the loo when they asked, they'd not come out of school having learnt very much.

And since 1994, nobody has ever wet themselves or had blood seeping through their clothes in any of my lessons.

LakeTiticaca · 06/10/2023 12:47

A year 7 child should be capable of using a toilet at break/lunch and not have to disruption lessons. They are not 5 year olds.

Hercisback · 06/10/2023 12:47

Girls are suffering UTIs and avoiding school during menstruation because of this culture. Kids with mental health problems and additional needs are struggling to learn because these policies drive their stress levels up

Students are suffering sexual abuse in open unsupervised toilets.

Students meet to vape in unsupervised toilets.

Students trash unsupervised toilets.

Schools can't put cctv in toilets and cannot supervise them all day.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 06/10/2023 12:47

Testina · 06/10/2023 12:45

Oh and info from my teen is that kids in different classes agree in advance what time they’re all going to, “need the toilet” so that they can meet up for a vape and a social. Every day.

Absolutely.
Happens in every school until there's a policy.