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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I complain about this?

162 replies

hollywally54 · 06/10/2023 12:25

I know this has already been done recently but my year 7 ds came home from school with a letter yesterday regarding toilet use. From this week, only children with a pre approved toilet pass will be able to leave lessons to go to the toilet. And in order to get one of these parents will need to provide medical evidence of a long term health issue.

They have generously said that children suffering from temporary issues such as infections or periods (?!?!) can get a pass but these will also need to be approved.

I feel outraged to be honest. Of course there will be kids who take the piss (no pun intended) but there are a hell of a lot of shy, genuine children who are probably going to feel really uncomfortable about this blanket ban on toilet use. What if someone has an accident in class? Can you imagine the shame? Surely teachers are able to quite quickly determine the kids who are trying to skive and those who are genuine? Is it worth complaining about this?

OP posts:
Hercisback · 06/10/2023 19:39

@Dramatic We'd have used discretion, especially if parents had been in touch to explain. No one wants anyone soiling themselves, but that hasn't been a consequence of this policy ime. Instead the quiet corridors, safer children and lack of vaping have been welcomed.

Badaba · 06/10/2023 19:41

To be a teacher nowadays must be hell dealing with some of you lot as parents.

You think school leaders just piss these rules out of their mouths with no experience to back it up.

Human rights? Whatever. Can't trust a teacher to use their own discretion regarding a toilet request, but you trust them to educate your kid.

Dramatic · 06/10/2023 19:43

ShermansSherberts · 06/10/2023 19:35

Ok, but I'm a long time lurker on here and I have seen numerous threads from parents complaining that their child has had an accident because their teacher didn't let them go? Or are they all trolling ? Admittedly my trolldar isn't all that good, so maybe they were!

Show quote history

I can remember two kids wetting themselves in class when I was at school, one in my year and one in the year below, both were year 7s

MyCircumference · 06/10/2023 19:44

i believe this quite common.
they need to have a toilet policy, kids can't just go whenever they like, unless they can't hold it for a medical reason, you have a toilet break

Dramatic · 06/10/2023 19:45

Hercisback · 06/10/2023 19:39

@Dramatic We'd have used discretion, especially if parents had been in touch to explain. No one wants anyone soiling themselves, but that hasn't been a consequence of this policy ime. Instead the quiet corridors, safer children and lack of vaping have been welcomed.

As long as teachers do understand that some kids will have undiagnosed issues. My parents never let the school know I was having problems, they didn't even care to take me to the doctor's so would never have bothered. I'm sure most people can last a couple of hours without needing the toilet but I used to need to go at least once or twice a week during a lesson and there must be a fair amount of kids like that.

Blueblell · 06/10/2023 19:46

I think they should be able to manage their time and go at break time really?

MyCircumference · 06/10/2023 19:46

i dont remember ever needing to go to the toilet in the middle of lessons when i was at school, aged 11 +
we also didnt sit there with a bottle of water on our desks,
that might be why.

Blueblell · 06/10/2023 19:47

Just thinking back to my school days - we weren’t allowed to drink water in class

Prescottdanni123 · 06/10/2023 19:48

I disagree with a blanket ban on toilets in general, but I think secondary schools are at their wits end with kids meeting up in the toilets mid lesson for a vaping session.

FudgeSundae · 06/10/2023 19:51

Boomboom22 · 06/10/2023 19:10

But there are a lot of piss takers! I try to say no as much as possible and always remind them the water bottle is to last all day not 500ml every lesson. We've badly mistaught how much liquid you should drink and many kids will be damaging their kidneys tbh.
But as a parent of a yr7 he says he queues at lunch are too long for everyone to go so sometimes has to go in lesson. As a teacher I just see if they really do need it and decide then although we are not really meant to let them go.

Sorry, you want a 500ml bottle of water to last all day? You think more will damage kidneys?? And you’re a teacher telling this to your students???

ExperiencedTeacher · 06/10/2023 19:52

hollywally54 · 06/10/2023 12:58

Anyone of any age can be susceptible to a sudden onset of diarrhoea or vomiting or a sudden period that they might not fancy discussing with their teacher in front of the class.

Imagine having to explain yourself. In that time an accident could occur and a self conscious teen is hardly likely to live that down for a very long time.

It's necessary to police it so kids don't use it as an excuse to skip class. It's not ok to say a blanket no to all kids. Imagine if they tried enforcing something like this in a workplace.

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Funnily enough, it is enforced in my workplace.

Dramatic · 06/10/2023 19:53

ExperiencedTeacher · 06/10/2023 19:52

Funnily enough, it is enforced in my workplace.

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So you suddenly come down with a stomach bug during a lesson...you're telling me you'd just stand there and shit yourself? Or a flare up of IBS?

Dramatic · 06/10/2023 19:54

ExperiencedTeacher · 06/10/2023 19:52

Funnily enough, it is enforced in my workplace.

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Also kids are not choosing to be there, I'd never go in to a profession where I'd have no access to a toilet for 2+ hours because it wouldn't be possible for me to do that. Kids have no choice.

MuggleMe · 06/10/2023 19:56

My DD had a UTI within a week of starting middle school (y5) She has autism, was worried about getting lost, it was busy and noisy at break times so she avoided going by not drinking during that heatwave in sept.

ShermansSherberts · 06/10/2023 19:59

Dramatic · 06/10/2023 19:43

I can remember two kids wetting themselves in class when I was at school, one in my year and one in the year below, both were year 7s

Show quote history

Interesting I don't remember any kids having issues at secondary school age. Mind you my generation (80s/90s) definitely didn't drink enough! It wasn't encouraged rhen, I'm glad to see children can take water into their classes at school. Drinking lots throughout the day causes fewer problems at night with excess urination, constipation or bedwetting.

Aria999 · 06/10/2023 19:59

I don't see why the policy can't just be 'it's at the teacher's discretion'

That or hire a toilet attendant

Badaba · 06/10/2023 20:03

Aria999 · 06/10/2023 19:59

I don't see why the policy can't just be 'it's at the teacher's discretion'

That or hire a toilet attendant

All good if parents are directly funding this.

Hercisback · 06/10/2023 20:05

don't see why the policy can't just be 'it's at the teacher's discretion'

Because then you get all manner of parental phonecalls about X was allowed and Y wasn't. Can. Of. Worms.

That or hire a toilet attendant

🤣🤣🤣🤣 We can't afford pencils.

Nellle · 06/10/2023 20:05

This thread really reveals how little people understand what secondary schools are like at the moment.

And I always wonder why people think a policy would be implemented for any reason other than that the professionals who actually work in schools know that it will make things better for the majority.

Discretion is used. Buildings are kept safe.

Why do parents think they know better about the workings of teachers and school buildings than teachers themselves?

Aria999 · 06/10/2023 20:12

I suppose the point is that if any policy is unreasonable or unethical then 'we can't afford pencil's' isn't an excuse for having the policy. How far along that slippery slope do you go?

If it isn't unreasonable or unethical then you don't need an excuse.

ShermansSherberts · 06/10/2023 20:13

I don't doubt it's tough for teachers. But I still stand by what I said, I would fully support any child of mine that genuinely needed to go and walking out and going having been refused. I've been a bullied child. The scars from bullying last a lifetime just like with any other kind of abuse. A child having an accident in class at secondary school age is highly likely to become a bullying target and I couldn't let that happen if it could be prevented. The opinions of your peers matters more than anything else at that age, being bollocked by a teacher is nothing in comparison.

lanthanum · 06/10/2023 20:14

Dramatic · 06/10/2023 19:45

As long as teachers do understand that some kids will have undiagnosed issues. My parents never let the school know I was having problems, they didn't even care to take me to the doctor's so would never have bothered. I'm sure most people can last a couple of hours without needing the toilet but I used to need to go at least once or twice a week during a lesson and there must be a fair amount of kids like that.

Show quote history

I taught a lad who kept asking to go in our double-lesson before lunch. He was a quiet lad, no trouble, and I let him go, but when it kept happening, I had a word with the school nurse to ask if there was a medical issue. She had him in to ask him - and he never asked to go again! I suspect in his case he just wanted a bit of quiet time-out.

Hercisback · 06/10/2023 20:15

I suppose the point is that if any policy is unreasonable or unethical then 'we can't afford pencil's' isn't an excuse for having the policy. How far along that slippery slope do you go?

What's unethical about stopping people who don't need the toilet from going to the toilet?

HauntedPencil · 06/10/2023 20:18

This seems to be pretty standard and to avoid violence and vaping and mucking about in the loos.
My DD has a pass but it's still a bit embarrassing to pull that out.

mumof1or2 · 06/10/2023 20:18

I'm a teacher and I disagree with most of the teachers who've commented on this post! We simply have a rule that you only let one student go to the toilet at a time from each class. When someone else asks to go, we simply say "yes you can go as soon as Jack gets back". I find it very hard to believe that some schools have "hundreds" of kids roaming the corridors at all times pretending to go to the loo.

Some of the more draconian staff at my school have tried to bring in toilet rules but there was uproar amongst the majority of staff, as we understand that children are human too and might sometimes need the loo outside of break and lunchtime

I think it's outrageous that schools still think they can do this. There will be many students with continence/stomach/IBS issues who don't want or need to tell anyone about it. They just need to be allowed to use the loo.

Our SLT so regular sweeps of the toilets and anyone caught with a vape in school gets a two day fixed term exclusion. We punish them rather than the entire school!