Should I complain about this?

[hollywally54]

I know this has already been done recently but my year 7 ds came home from school with a letter yesterday regarding toilet use. From this week, only children with a pre approved toilet pass will be able to leave lessons to go to the toilet. And in order to get one of these parents will need to provide medical evidence of a long term health issue.

They have generously said that children suffering from temporary issues such as infections or periods (?!?!) can get a pass but these will also need to be approved.

I feel outraged to be honest. Of course there will be kids who take the piss (no pun intended) but there are a hell of a lot of shy, genuine children who are probably going to feel really uncomfortable about this blanket ban on toilet use. What if someone has an accident in class? Can you imagine the shame? Surely teachers are able to quite quickly determine the kids who are trying to skive and those who are genuine? Is it worth complaining about this?

I know this isn't really the point of the thread, but if your DD is bleeding through 3 separate types of sanitary protection during the school day, she should definitely see the GP as it's not normal to be that heavy, and there might be something they can do to help her.

I assume she's on super absorbent tampons if she's bleeding through (as clearly you'd up them if she bled through one of the smaller ones) and if that's the case she should absolutely be able to go 6/7 hours without bleeding through it.

Has she considered using a mooncup? They can hold the same amount of a few tampons so perhaps this, plus period pants/pad would be a better solution?

I know it doesn't solve the issue of not being able to use the toilet but if she could manage her periods more comfortably it would hopefully take some stress away from her, bless her.

I remember being so scared of bleeding through when I was at school. We couldn't use the toilets either, but thankfully I lived close enough to go home to change tampons at lunch, which just about saw me through.

I am a teacher and I agree with you. We have toilet passes and try to discourage toilet visits in everyone else but I do not ever say a blanket no as I would hate someone to be desperate. I usually ask if they can wait until I have finished an explanation or something or if it is close to end I might ask if they can wait but I always allow it if they need to.

Times must've changed if this is such an issue?

I probably left class to use the toilet twice in all of secondary. If I was bursting I might have done a speed pee between classes. I don't remember multiple people leaving to use the toilet during class either?

If you're struck by a sudden vomiting or diarrhea episode I doubt you'll have time to do anything other than run without saying a word anyway. I'd let my child know to just run in an emergency.

We always needed to ask though. We couldn't just walk out.

Times must've changed if this is such an issue?

They have a

Thank you for your comments 😊 yes she is on super absorbent tampons, I've broached the idea of a moon cup, but she's only 14 so not confident to try one yet.

Unfortunately the pill makes her seriously ill too, so we're giving it a year and then investigating if it hasn't calmed down.

What's your solution OP?

Pre this system in our school we had 100ish kids out of lesson. Wandering corridors, all under the "I need the toilet" guise.

principal/secretary should roam the halls at intervals then. Having children have to justify using the toilet is ridiculous!

principal/secretary should roam the halls at intervals then. Having children have to justify using the toilet is ridiculous!

if you honestly think that a) they have the time to do that or b) it would work, you clearly have absolutely no idea what secondary schools are like

This. It’s a ridiculous and hugely unfair rule all around. I understand some mess around, but most will really just need the toilet and pop out for a couple minutes. I know I can’t concentrate when I’m desperate for the loo!

principal/secretary should roam the halls at intervals then.

100k to walk corridors. Don't get me wrong, it's part of the job but not something they can do all the time!
You say "they just go for two mins". But in reality they don't. Secondary schools are big places. Then there's the issue of leaving the block of toilets open.

“I understand some mess around, but most will really just need the toilet and pop out for a couple minutes.”

I just asked my teen. She said that nobody goes to the loo for a couple of minutes, and the ones that ask are always the repeat offenders who go for ages and are know to vape and or otherwise cause trouble.

Obviously “nobody” and “always” are teen exaggerations. But she laughed at this thread and said, “bunch of boomers who have do idea what happens in school mum”. I have pointed out we’re probably more Gen X 😀

Use common sense? Establish the piss takers and tell them no. It's not difficult.

But there are a lot of piss takers! I try to say no as much as possible and always remind them the water bottle is to last all day not 500ml every lesson. We've badly mistaught how much liquid you should drink and many kids will be damaging their kidneys tbh.
But as a parent of a yr7 he says he queues at lunch are too long for everyone to go so sometimes has to go in lesson. As a teacher I just see if they really do need it and decide then although we are not really meant to let them go.

It actually is quite difficult, especially when they start arguing about their right to go to the toilet and you have no policy to back you up. They then meet their mates, don't return, have a period every week, vape etc. If you've not been in a classroom in the past 5 years, you won't believe how difficult it is. They message each other to meet up.

OTOH if you do have a policy that says no, it's far easier to say no then use discretion to say yes to the (tiny amount of) non piss takers.

They would if they needed it. Many girls suffer from flooding. It had nowt to do with being shy.

Many of us commenting are teachers and parents of school-aged children. And your daughter needs to learn some manners and some less disrespectful language.

@Testina’s daughter is right though @sprigatito

I would just tell any child of mine to walk out and go anyway. It's a human right to be able to use a loo. I don't see why teachers don't just enforce their draconian policies on the pisstakers and leave the other kids alone.

“And your daughter needs to learn some manners and some less disrespectful language.”

No, she’s fine thanks! She’s a lovely girl who thinks that teachers have a hard job, and ought to be able to follow their passion for teaching not managing the vape crew’s skiving 🤷🏻‍♀️ She likes to take the piss in fun about boomers having no clue about her world (specifically boomers, as it gets an exaggerated rise out of me, for being Gen X). Same humour as when I see her Snapchat and say, “can somebody show Gen Z what a capital is!”

She knows what it’s like in an average school today - and she says that the majority of toilet requests are taking the piss, not needing a piss!

don't see why teachers don't just enforce their draconian policies on the pisstakers and leave the other kids alone.

This is literally what we do!!!! How many times.

This is a tricky one! As a parent and a teacher in a secondary school I can see both sides. We have exactly the same policy in my school - medical evidence must be provided for a toilet pass and nobody else is allowed to use the toilet during lesson time. I can sure you though that the vast majority of staff use their common sense. For example, the reason we have these policies is because dozens of pupils were arranging to meet in the toilets at an arranged time (from different lessons) to chat/ vape etc. This is a huge safeguarding risk. If a pupil asks me I always say no at first (unless it’s something I can clearly get the vibes from like a period). If they ask again and seem genuine then I’ll let them go as they’ve missed their original time to meet their peers anyway so I assume they genuinely need the loo.
Staff have been told off in my school for being too lax but then on the same day have a very angry phone call from parents! We literally can’t win!

This is the second complaint I’ve read this week on this subject and I’m surprised that people are surprised, because it was exactly the same when I was at school in the 90s. We weren’t allowed to go to the toilet in lessons (because lots of kids used it as an opportunity to wander about or go and have a fag). So we went to the loo in between lessons and at break time. Once or twice I needed to go urgently to deal with period protection. Went and quietly said to the teacher that I urgently needed the loo and they let me go (I was not known for being a pisstaker so teachers believed me when I said it was urgent). I daresay the exact same thing would happen now in most schools.

Do people realise that teachers also can’t go to the loo in lessons? (And often don’t have time to go even if they have an opportunity)

Well lucky you, I had undiagnosed IBS as a teen and I just thank my lucky stars that no teacher stopped me from going and that the toilets weren't locked because I would have actually shit myself on several occasions had that been the case.

Ok, but I'm a long time lurker on here and I have seen numerous threads from parents complaining that their child has had an accident because their teacher didn't let them go? Or are they all trolling ? Admittedly my trolldar isn't all that good, so maybe they were!

I'd say trolling. In 15 years I've heard of it happening once in school and the pupil hadn't asked to go (think there were other issues at play there).

The trick is to not be a pisstaker, so the one time you do need it, the discretion is given.

I’ve been teaching for almost twenty years and have never known a child to wet themselves in one of my or my colleagues‘ lessons.