Cost of living. I'm having a meltdown tonight.

[TwentyTwenty20]

I put my heating on for an hour or so this morning because I forgot to dry my son's school uniform, and my landlord won't let me install a tumble dryer. It cost me an extra £2. I didn't put my heating on until January last year. We lived under the duvet until then. I got my son changed under the covers. I used to just get in the bath and stay there in the evening to keep warm. I'm a lone parent, I take home £2100 a month and get £140 UC, £96 child benefit. My rent is £1000 a month. Council tax £150 with SP discount. Electric, gas, petrol, car insurance, Internet, school uniform, food, life insurance, water bills, £130 on before and after school clubs so I can work, then there's failed MOT which I had to put on a credit card which I'm paying off, tv license, phone bill etc. Then there's life and scraping by so my son can continue his gymnastics hes been doing since he was 2. Council is awful and you can't apply for any of the cost of living stuff unless they have 'identified you'. I've done income and expenditure with a professional and they've said I've pretty much cut back as far as I can. They fine tooth combed my bank statements. How is the amount I make not enough? I have applied for 6 cheaper houses in the last month and none will rent to me. I'm 400 and something on the list for council housing. 10 years ago I was on 18k a year and comfortable and saving.

Will this ever get better? That's a genuine question because I can do all the cutting back I can but if I keep getting knocked back for cheaper housing and higher paid jobs I just don't know how I will go on. It is no life and I don't enjoy getting out of bed in the morning anymore.

I never wear man made polyester clothing. Way back in the 60s, some men wore nylon shirts. And few men wore deodorant. And on hot days those men stank - I know this from seeing the bloke who came to fix our rented telly.

If it has to be man-made, viscose is a better choice.

@Thegreatprocrastinator001 I don’t know which post you were agreeing to but I agree with yours completely.

Regarding heating, I would suggest buying an electric oil filled radiator and heating one room, they are quite cheap to buy £50ish and pretty cheap to run, This is what I did last year ( one roam was toasty warm all winter, rest of house was Baltic) and my electricity bill wasn’t too high, definitely cheaper than heating the whole house.

I will be miserable for both of you to be living in a cold house.

Maybe other MN commenters have some better heating solutions though?…. What are the cheapest to run heaters out there?

@kamboozled actually most people don’t shower daily. Different people sweat differently and people with eczema often space showers out for health reasons. You can stay clean without completely covering yourself in water.

None of that actually, just a sense of responsibility, and no sense of un-warranted or deserved entitlement.

Another suggestion, electric blankets are quite cheap and also cost pennies to run, Otherwise hot water bottles are good

I said "try" to reduce childcare costs - read it !

Car insurance at £51 a month is not necessarily cheap, I said "check around"

Broadband - cheapest is about £16/18 plus cashback nets it down well below your £25, nearer £10 a month.

If you're skint, you don't put things on a credit card and pay 35% interest - that's madness

GifGaff isn't the cheapest at £10 - you can get - RGW is £2 a month !!!!!!!

The fact is that you simply don't know but you like to criticise. I do know but it takes an effort to stop overpaying and save the cash.

Sorry to hear your struggles OP.
Try a two mode of attack - cut costs and increase income.
Cut costs - eg . cancel life insurance and contents insurance - these aren't obligatory. When you are better off you can pay for them again.

Bills - contact utility companies. They usually have a discounted rate if you have young children or your income is low.

Income increase -

• let it be known to your child's fathers friend that unless he is going to pay for his child then you will get the Inland Revenue to start a tax evasion investigation.

His friend will soon see sense.

• Not too familiar with UC etc but as others have suggested Citizens Advice is a good start.
• Perhaps look into remote working too.
• Look for promotion opportunities within your current role.

Things will get better.

@TeenLifeMum

3/4 of Britons shower everyday, 1/4 don't. I appreciate it's a sizeable minority but it's just that, a minority. Also my husband has eczema so it's necessary for him to shower daily.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/nov/27/one-in-four-britons-dont-shower-every-day-the-rest-arent-doing-it-right

@SequentialAnalyst I'm really sorry but I think the older generation who did this smell

Anyway I guess we'll have to agree to disagree that I don't think showering everyday is something that should be cut

@TwentyTwenty20 Get a condenser dryer. They don’t need to be plumbed into anything just plugged into a socket for power.
Condenser dryers have a water reservoir, mine is like the powder & conditioner drawer on a washing machine but with a water container attached to it, that you empty each time you use it.

Depending on what you need phone wise I pay £10 a month on Giff Gaff for unlimited minutes, unlimited texts & 20gb internet. Even the next up cost is only £12 & that gives you the same calls & texts bundle but 26gb internet.

I have a low cost community pantry near me where people can pay £8 or £13 each week for 2/3 bags of groceries, my friends have used them & the bags contained tinned goods, pasta, fruit, veg, bread & a small loaf cake, & anyone can contact them for help. Reach out to your local community centre & see if they can help with some basic foods because every little helps.

I feel lucky that we are still managing, just, but I am definitely noticing the purse strings getting tighter. Without the CM my child gets from her biodad we would be homeless so I can imagine how hard things are for you right now.
I have helped a few friends out with little loans here & there, to keep them going to pay day, over the last year & a half as since going onto UC they are struggling so bad compared to how they were managing ok on CTC, WTC/old style entitlement help. It isn’t even the COL causing issues they literally have less money since the switch over.

Deep breath… as long as you have a roof over your heads, the bills are paid & you have food in the house you are doing ok.
It is a horrible way to live but it is reality for many right now.

Well you have now. I shower every second day most of the time, and I live in a country with more hot weather than the UK. I'm pretty sure I don't smell - I have a best friend who would let me know if I did!!

However, I only wear natural fabrics, which no doubt helps as I don't get sweaty unless it's very hot.

This is a good idea. We have an electric clothes dryer too. It’s a big one from Lakeland and it heats up very well, especially with a large sheet over it. It also generates a lot of heat, which our cats love. They are often lying underneath it for the warmth. This might warm up your place in the winter too.

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. It’s very tough at the moment and I agree that it seems impossible to save. Hang in there.

I don't understand these men

It's his child and he's happy for him to only contribute £7 a week???

I mean, what??

I have a condenser dryer in my bedroom, no need for any plumbing you just empty the drawer that collects the water.

I agree. Sometimes with a child you really need a car.

This is awful for you. We can only hope for a mild winter and lower prices all round. I'm sorry there is nothing I can say or do to make it better for you and your child. ☹️

I don't think you understand how debt works.

For starters, the credit card bill won't just disappear if OP gets rid of the card, because the debt will still be outstanding. The debt was incurred through a sudden big car repair, which you would know if you had read the OO's updates.

The family court costs loan repayment also can't just magically go away. This loan, which will have been for thousands of pounds because legal representation is not cheap, was spent to keep her child safe from his violent father. Again, the OP told us this.

The only phone company I know who offer £2/month phone is Lycamobile, and it doesn't last beyond six months. When I came to move to Lyca myself, I realised that I was trapped in my existing contract for another year and it would cost 98% of my outstanding contract costs to buy myself out. The OP may well also be trapped in a contract.

likethislikethat · Yesterday 19:14

Here's the problem

£1100 rent - too high - move
£100 fuel - any options to reduce this ?
£130 childcare costs - try to reduce this
£20 phone bill - reduce to £2 a month
£25 Internet - reduce to about £10 a month
£51 car insurance - check around
£50 credit card - get rid of card
£160-£200 food/toiletries/cleaning products/stuff for my empty unfurnished house - you can reduce this
£10 breakdown cover - too high - £5 a month
£30 for underpayment of council tax - whose fault is that ?
£106 loan (family court costs - he got no contact so do not regret this) - ???
£13 TV license - get rid

So you're definitely paying (18+15+50+50+5+30+106+13) = £287 a month too much before moving or any of the "maybe you can cut this" numbers.

I've taken the liberty of highlighting parts of your post, likethislikethat, as I cannot believe what you have posted.
How anyone can suggest that its possible to reduce those figures , and in particular, the heating and food, is beyond me.
Those figures are too low already, unless you think a mother and young child should sit in the dark, with no TV, no heat, no furniture and barely live at subsistence level.
Even if you wash your hair with washing up liquid, which you double up as your one cleaning product, then eat cold tinned food so the electric/gas can be used for your child's hot water/shower, even if you are lucky enough to be gifted furniture and white goods, even if you sit in the dark once your child is in bed, even if you only use central heating when your child is in, even if you cook from scratch and depend on charity shops, even then...you cannot survive on £200 per month for toiletries/cleaning/household stuff.
I despair at the lack of understanding.

I have to say, as someone who has looked for a place this year, £1000 is not on the high end for a 2 bedroom flat. Even in smaller cities in more rural areas - in regional parts of the UK, you can't find anything cheaper than £900.

@likethislikethat your post is horrid.

I too recommend a good dehumidifier with a laundry setting - something substantial rather than one of the little £60 ones which aren’t really up to the job. Mine cost £150 (a Meaco one, which you can get for less now I see - https://www.meacodehumidifiers.co.uk/products/meaco-dry-abc-range-10l-compressor-dehumidifier-silver-free-3-year-warranty-abc10l-s?variant=40693513093174&om=13066&gclid=CjwKCAjwg4SpBhAKEiwAdyLwvOZ4qK7gvIuVqakqvvXCKjHAGA-H2EkeHQmp_Bq1TUhBxQzWgK-KNRoCciMQAvD_BwE) because I couldn’t afford to run a tumble dryer (which I got rid of in the end), and likewise I couldn’t afford to have the radiators on to dry washing. They cost just a few pennies per hour to run. I can honestly say this is the best ‘gadget’ I’ve ever bought (even though it felt like a big outlay at the time)👌

I agree not a good choice where you are, but it is an option to think about in the future, get a bigger, maybe 3 bed place and rent with someone else?

Would reduce bills, maybe give you a support network 🤔.

Not an option I'm looking forward to BTW but something I'm considering.

Goodness there's alot of messages on here I tried to read to check I wasn't saying anything that had already been said but I also have a 4 year so you know that is impossible lol.

Have you updated your rent amount on your universal credit account?

As that might change your entitlement.
As others have suggested it may well be worth working out costs if you dropped too 16 hours a week at work... its fine to look into it and citizens advice would help you with this... unfortunately it's the position we're all in!

On 16 hours work you should still earn enough to receive 30 free hours of childcare...and your son may not have to then go to the clubs.

Look at how your local council are spending their housing support funds... if on low income you can usually apply for this.

What other big costs do you have? I read your list and you are right there's not much to tweek there...

Your posts are honestly daft.

"I didn't say reduce childcare costs" (that she can't)

"I said try to reduce them"

Ohhhh that makes all the difference.

"Check around" car insurance. Again, do you think OP didn't plug her details into a comparison site and get the cheapest deals that way, like everyone else does? (And, no, the cheapest deals are not always direct with the provider.)

"Don't put things on a credit card"

You don't say.

If your boiler breaks and you have no money, sometimes it's the only way. I doubt this debt is OP purchasing Hermes bangles.

I keep my condenser dryer in a bedroom and using it takes the chill off.
Not very constructive but just meaning you don't need your dryer in the kitchen

I think it's positive that you can make your hours up on an evening so not paying after school care.
Don't think you can shave much more off but I would get rid of your TV licence are you even watching live TV? Just make sure you don't and you don't need it unless you watch a lot on iPlayer. I can't imagine you have time or inclination.
Really hope this winter isn't such a cold one. Hopefully food prices coming down a little compared to last year
All money saved on gas/elec has gone on car insurance for me that has doubled this year and I'm old.