Cost of living. I'm having a meltdown tonight.

[TwentyTwenty20]

I put my heating on for an hour or so this morning because I forgot to dry my son's school uniform, and my landlord won't let me install a tumble dryer. It cost me an extra £2. I didn't put my heating on until January last year. We lived under the duvet until then. I got my son changed under the covers. I used to just get in the bath and stay there in the evening to keep warm. I'm a lone parent, I take home £2100 a month and get £140 UC, £96 child benefit. My rent is £1000 a month. Council tax £150 with SP discount. Electric, gas, petrol, car insurance, Internet, school uniform, food, life insurance, water bills, £130 on before and after school clubs so I can work, then there's failed MOT which I had to put on a credit card which I'm paying off, tv license, phone bill etc. Then there's life and scraping by so my son can continue his gymnastics hes been doing since he was 2. Council is awful and you can't apply for any of the cost of living stuff unless they have 'identified you'. I've done income and expenditure with a professional and they've said I've pretty much cut back as far as I can. They fine tooth combed my bank statements. How is the amount I make not enough? I have applied for 6 cheaper houses in the last month and none will rent to me. I'm 400 and something on the list for council housing. 10 years ago I was on 18k a year and comfortable and saving.

Will this ever get better? That's a genuine question because I can do all the cutting back I can but if I keep getting knocked back for cheaper housing and higher paid jobs I just don't know how I will go on. It is no life and I don't enjoy getting out of bed in the morning anymore.

Heated airers are very cost effective . Don’t buy a cover for it - stick a bed sheets over and it dried them quicker .

Sorry you are struggling 🫤
I do believe it’s tough on single people running households - I have two teens (only get child benefit for the youngest now )
Ex and I Co parent so neither of us pay maintenance .
I have a mortgage too (on my own ) so no housing help !

The government really need to tackle the issue of absent dads who manipulate their income to avoid supporting their dcs. And there are so many of them around. Surely it wouldn’t take too much effort for CMS team to look at bank statements and investigate made up income declared by the dads. It would make so much difference to OPs situation if she was getting what she should from £40k earning ex.

👏👏

I haven't read the whole thread but you can get really thick large heated throws that cost pennies to run. In an evening one of those with a duvet over u will definitely be nicer than being cold. Not saying it's a solution but I have a few and give them as presents. Everyone loves them. Dreamland/ relaxwell at about £110 from Argos or Lakeland. They are expensive but really worth the money.
Feel for you 💞

Predictably, you’ve cherry-picked the crap to suit your argument. I dare say that if I were in OP’s shoes, I would like practical advice. Solace wouldn’t keep me from waking up in the night wondering how I’m going to pay for a car breakdown when I’ve got no savings.

UC: The UK economy killer!!
Sorry, but I have no sympathy, take responsibility for your choices. The state owes you nothing, don’t moan, just be grateful for what they offer, every penny is a bonus that they don’t need to pay you anything, but they do, be grateful for anything they give!!

Haven't read the full thread but wanted to throw a massive dose of respect your way, OP. Your son is lucky to have you.

Sorry not read past the first page but I have heard de-humidifiers help dry clothing if you can’t have a dryer

I'm sorry I can't offer much advice but didn't want to read without offering something.
Can you call your internet and mobile provider and explain you're struggling and see if they can give you a discount on your bill? Or see if they can switch you to a social tariff as you're in receipt of benefits?
I know the car insurance one probably can't be changed any time soon, but £51 a month - £612 a year - is a lot. Mine is around £200 a year. Do you try all the comparison sites before your renewal is due? And call your current provider to price match? If you don't, it's worth investigating a couple hours into it. My first year was £1,000 and it's gradually reduced due to me doing that every year.
For your child's uniform, do you have any charities offering free uniform? There's one near me that has a permanent shop location that offers used uniforms (and kids clothes in general) completely for free, regardless of income. My sister has a church near hers that has regular days where they offer used uniform for free for anyone who needs it. If you don't know of anything locally like that, can you contact the local foodbank to ask? They're often well connected with other local charities.
For maximising income, can you complete surveys online? I know it's not much, but it can be an extra £20/month which could help towards the food shop. I recommend onepoll and panelbase. It's something you could spend 30 mins on each night before you go to bed. And what about cashback? I use the app Airtime Rewards where you link your bank cards and any spends at the app's sponsored shops will get you a small percentage as cashback. It can then be taken off your phone bill once you get up to £10. It's not a lot of money, but it's zero effort once set up. Also, if your bank does cashback, check their app regularly and apply all the cashback offers, even if you don't think you'll use them. This came in handy for me one time I parked in London for a gig. I got £6 cashback for the extortionately priced parking as I'd applied the cashback offer thinking I'd never use it. It was a nice surprise!

Sorry if none of these help, but good luck with everything! Thinking of you.

I’m really not interested in the derailment of this thread. But, just to be clear, I haven’t cherry-picked anything. The points I made in my response are the very same as those of the PP that you decided to so ignorantly jump on for being unhelpful.

Strangely enough, you haven’t used your reply to reiterate some of the top notch advice on here. Not exactly helpful yourself, are you? The best I’ve seen are the heated airers and recommendations to look at whether the car insurer will also provide the breakdown cover for cheaper, if it isn’t included already without the OP knowing. I too will explore these two suggestions.

Overarchingly to me, though, what’s very sad is that OP is a woman earning an above average income and is potentially left with no option this winter than to be cold in her own home. I’m sure many on MN, myself included, can relate. Many others, however, just keep banging on about how much her rent is. As if she chose for it to increase by £300pcm. It’s a frustrating read on all accounts, and your snarky responses aren’t helpful. The PP you quoted was just pointing out how desensitised many appear to be to the desperate plight of a struggling mother; choosing instead to make obscene suggestions under the guise of ‘advice’.

What a cruel and stupid thing to say to someone who's struggling.

What are exactly the choices she has to take responsibility for?

While it might not actually help it will hopefully make OP feel that at least some people understand, rather than make her feel like a failure as some of the other "helpful" posts are bound to have done.

OP I can offer no advice as I don't live in the UK, but I really do feel for you and sincerely hope that things will improve. You are doing great with what you have, and it is certainly not your fault that things are so shit at present.

https://britishgymnasticsfoundation.org/how-we-can-help/hardship/ You mentioned your son loves his gymnastics. BG have Hardship Grants for clubs or individuals. They don’t take applications atm but there’s an email address there for details.

BTL are leaving in droves and, as I would expect, is leading to a rental shortage and thus higher prices. (For those from elsewhere) £1k pcm is pretty cheap for the South East - which is why a national "living wage" is inadequate in much of the South, in London a single room costs that much. So I doubt you can reduce rent unless you are able to relocate to a cheaper area. Can you find an alternative loan to pay off the credit card debt and so reduce the monthly payments. Credit card interest is humongous compared to other sources of borrowing. What is your credit score like, use a free version of the Experian app to check it. It sounds like you pay all your outgoings on time so it should be good enough to approach your bank for a loan at a better rate. Your post reads as "sensible and careful", so be confident in your abilities and spend your evenings snuggled in your duvet looking for alternative jobs that are better paid and have the confidence to apply for them. Ultimately, that is your best route, it may take time, but I am sure you can do it.

Oh dear sorry about the essay earlier.

People don't need a shower every single day.

Bedrooms do not need heating; bedding (with coats on top if necessary), and hot water bottles will keep most people warm in bed at night. Sleep quality is actually better in a cool room.

You might be able to cut car insurance a little by declaring maximum annual mileage (and sticking to it).

Driving slower takes more time but less petrol.

A cheap, carefully selected mug, or an interesting book, are small hopeful things you can buy in a charity shop. A bunch of wild flowers will also lift the spirits.

It's not much but you can save nearly £40 a month on phone and Internet. Look at something like talk talk. £ 6 per month for a large data package and unlimited calls and texts. Use the phone as a hot spot in the house to stream and surf.

@SequentialAnalyst

People don't need a shower every single day.

I'm sorry but that's basic hygiene. I've never heard of someone not showering at least once a day before

Also it heats the body

With regards to a tumble dryer, have you looked into heat pump tumble dryers? We have just got one for the winter. No plumbing or vents need fitting. You just plug it in. It isn’t that expensive to run. I dried a full load the other day and it cost 40p.

A wash every day, yes.
No-one even owned a shower in my young day. But we kept clean. We did have baths, but only little children had a bath each day.

The body generates its own heat from the food you eat, and when you use your muscles. The fat of your body insulates it. If you get too hot, sweat cools your body down.

A shower makes you feel warm; if you really want to feel warm after a shower, try a freezing cold one!

What about your boy's father? Should he be paying child maintenance?

The OP has explained about her ex and how much he pays and why it’s a difficult situation.

@Snowflakeslayer what a truly horrible post- it's hardly as if the poster is having the life of Riley- I find posters who post such nasty shit very often have never ever been in that position and usually have a combo of supportive families, inheritance, high paid partners- all things that help life enormously!!

Sorry if this has been asked and answered already, but have you spoken to your local CAB? They might know of other support, benefits, etc you might be entitled to.

Due to the over use of man made polyester clothing, I can safely say yes people really do need a shower every day. All the people I know who say they don't really do ...

Couldn't agree more. My partner and I work our arses off in professional jobs as key workers, we don't go on foreign holidays, we shop in lidls and charity shops for clothes but by the time we've finished paying bills, mortgage, kids clubs etc we've nothing left to save in case the boiler goes or the roof leaks etc. How did we allow the country to become so inequitable? The roads have gone to shit, public services are no longer fit for purpose, the rich get richer and everyone else gets used to the shit show. We need to be looking to Scandinavian countries as models. We have let democracy slide from us by stealth but this is not what we vote for. Oh but with the new police and crime commissioners act we can't protest now, without breaking the law. Goodbye freedom, goodbye civilisation. Hello apathy though.