Cost of living. I'm having a meltdown tonight.

[TwentyTwenty20]

I put my heating on for an hour or so this morning because I forgot to dry my son's school uniform, and my landlord won't let me install a tumble dryer. It cost me an extra £2. I didn't put my heating on until January last year. We lived under the duvet until then. I got my son changed under the covers. I used to just get in the bath and stay there in the evening to keep warm. I'm a lone parent, I take home £2100 a month and get £140 UC, £96 child benefit. My rent is £1000 a month. Council tax £150 with SP discount. Electric, gas, petrol, car insurance, Internet, school uniform, food, life insurance, water bills, £130 on before and after school clubs so I can work, then there's failed MOT which I had to put on a credit card which I'm paying off, tv license, phone bill etc. Then there's life and scraping by so my son can continue his gymnastics hes been doing since he was 2. Council is awful and you can't apply for any of the cost of living stuff unless they have 'identified you'. I've done income and expenditure with a professional and they've said I've pretty much cut back as far as I can. They fine tooth combed my bank statements. How is the amount I make not enough? I have applied for 6 cheaper houses in the last month and none will rent to me. I'm 400 and something on the list for council housing. 10 years ago I was on 18k a year and comfortable and saving.

Will this ever get better? That's a genuine question because I can do all the cutting back I can but if I keep getting knocked back for cheaper housing and higher paid jobs I just don't know how I will go on. It is no life and I don't enjoy getting out of bed in the morning anymore.

One SLIGHT saving might be to ask your insurer how much it is to add breakdown cover onto your police and cancel your independent cover - also I’m assuming you’ve done everything you can to reduce car insurance? Can you do a multi car/multi cover for your contents insurance and car insurance and even combine it with a family member/friend? My car insurance halved when I did this, then the addition of my home insurance actually reduced to premium and caused a refund!

Here's the problem

£1100 rent - too high - move
£100 fuel - any options to reduce this ?
£130 childcare costs - try to reduce this
£20 phone bill - reduce to £2 a month
£25 Internet - reduce to about £10 a month
£51 car insurance - check around
£50 credit card - get rid of card
£160-£200 food/toiletries/cleaning products/stuff for my empty unfurnished house - you can reduce this
£10 breakdown cover - too high - £5 a month
£30 for underpayment of council tax - whose fault is that ?
£106 loan (family court costs - he got no contact so do not regret this) - ???
£13 TV license - get rid

So you're definitely paying (18+15+50+50+5+30+106+13) = £287 a month too much before moving or any of the "maybe you can cut this" numbers.

That’s not what I said. I was quoting the poster above me who said that’s how it worked. Not sure how is why the country is in a mess. 70% marginals is what’s causing it which is backed up by the chancellor’s own reports and recent ONS data.

Your UC doesn't seem right, unless it's because you only have the one child. I would leave a note in your journal and ask someone to look at it for you. I can imagine it would be lower if an advance is being deducted.

I would look into a cheaper Internet provider?

As for gymnastics - It's better to have a warm son than an athletic one?? He can always take it back up at a later date when you're on your feet, and he can still practice it outside of gymnastics.

The before and after school clubs - Is that £134 a week? If so, you could ask a school parent would they mind picking up/dropping off etc and offer them some money for it at a lower rate, or get a registered childminder and apply for childminding costs through UC, because I think it is now an extra £600+ a month (It's just been introduced) - These costs will also cover childminding clubs...I think l. Pop it in your journal about the before and after school costs. They should be helping you with that as well.

Just about the tumble drier situation. You can get one that doesn't need to be installed, no vent. It condenses the water and stores it instead. Just sit it in place and plug into the power.

You would pay over a £1000 a month where I live😢 but you're right it is extortionate xx

Firstly, it may not be helpful if you already checked but just in case, double check your uc because that sounds quite low and a lot of times mistakes are made
And manual calculations to work out uc are very simple
Second, check child maintenence because at 16k a year he should be paying at least about £100 a month not £7 a week
Sorry I don't have anything more helpful to add although if you're on uc and received something even small last few months you should still be getting the £300 cost of living payment soon which should help

How is she reducing childcare costs, it’s so she can work. What do you suggest. Her car insurance is cheap. Basic internet for a starting contract is £25. She’s laying off the credit card. Giffgaff is cheapest for sim only, and is s £10.

You are so far off what things actually cost, it’s unhelpful

God its so shit being a lone parent.
I'm thinking your bills don't sound horrendous so thinking of ways to boost your income.

1. Triple check your benefits claim is right and you are claiming for everything you can.
2. When did you last get a pay rise? Not sure if you work private or public sector, but you can ask?
3. Can you increase your hours, do something from home? I work in finance and have just taken on some extra book keeping I do in the evenings when the kids are asleep because there was too much month left after the money ran out. Anything like that you could do?

Bills

1. Use the cost of living payment to pay off a chunk of the car bills
2. See if there are any social tariffs available for broadband provider
3. Can you renegotiate the terms of the loan?
4. Then it comes down to making uncomfortable choices - temporarily ditching the life insurance and any pension you pay, but i would be loathe to do this unless no other choice.
5. Rent - can you move to a 1 bed? I had to do this for a while. You could have a daybed and sleep in the lounge.

It's super shit atm but keep in mind it won't be forever. Keep positive ❤

@likethislikethat ok move-yep probably about £1 to £2k to move plus 5 weeks up front before she gets her deposit back on this- and that's if she can pass the 'computer says no' affordability tests of many private rentals.

What an idiotic post. You might’ve well have said, ‘earn more, spend less’. Some people would consider that good advice but only if they’re hard of thinking, as you seem to be. Do you not think the OP will’ve already considered - probably on numerous occasions daily - how she might be able to reduce her outgoings? Life just isn’t that simple, is it?

Honestly, this thread is becoming ridiculous. Between you and the poster who recently recommended that a single mother with a small child either move into a one bed property or consider AirBnB-ing one of the rooms in her house, I seriously worry about the intellectual capacity of some MNers.

Did you even read OP's posts? She is renting the flat - she cannot just get a lodger!! or Airbnb a place. She'd be in breach of her contract. Also, you cannot just....move. You need a job first, then you can relocate. But there are severe costs with relocation - I moved from London up North and my employer didn't cover relocation costs. Movers charged £300 and that was the cheapest I could get. Then it is a new flat to pay a monthly rent + a bond. You have to have this money before you even start earning a new paycheck. Is someone entitled much? Because it does seem to me you are out of touch with reality.

And the point here really is - she is earning a decent amount yet she cannot live decently. Something is seriously wrong with the system, that's the point not how she should work around lower living standards. When you have skills, a serious job track record, and a decent education and you still cannot survive on your own with one paycheck something is wrong. Period.

@likethislikethat you do realize that if she ever wants to get on to the property ladder she needs to have a credit score for which she needs a credit card?

And if she wants to watch TV she does need a licence or else she can be prosecuted and fined? We live in the 21st century so yeah, following the news, etc. is kinda the norm. And don't give me crap that you can watch things on the Internet because these days you need a license for that too.

£160/month for food and expenses is actually super low for two people - that's like £40 a week. Go check YouTube for frugal living and nearly everyone in an extremely frugal situation is paying around £20 per person per week for food. Her son is 4 so he needs quality food not to mention clothes, toys, and yes - extra curriculum activities to work around his development and to make his childhood happy not like a workhouse prison of the 19th century.

Just want to offer any advice I can as a fellow mum on UC. I haven't read every post so I apologise if I'm repeating things!

I also claim on UC for childcare, just a thought if your earnings are significantly reducing the payment it might be worth looking at switching to tax free childcare in case you could be better off.

I recently switched to a social tariff for Internet, I was already with sky so just stuck with them. They also give a free sim for a year worth £8 a month so now I don't pay anything for my phone.

If you don't already it's worth signing up to the Martin lewis emails, he has loads of ideas on his website that may be helpful eg switching bank accounts can earn £200 at the moment and other tips.

The likes of swagbucks are good to sign up to, when I had more time on mat leave I got quite a bit of extra cash through surveys.

Only small things but I know they add up when things are tight. You are doing an incredible job, I wish you every success.

Not sure if it’s included the post I’m replying to with this comment but in case not it’s the one you say you don’t have room to have it plumbed in in your kitchen. If this is about the dryer then it doesn’t need plumbing in. Ours is under the stairs & just plugged into an extension lead when we need to use it. It’s a condenser dryer so doesn’t need to be a window or even in a kitchen, you just empty the water container when it’s full

This thread is wild in terms of how many people are basically blaming the op and saying she needs to cut back when quite clearly she can’t. Why are people accepting this bullshit and cutting it to the wire?
We should be furious at our government.
This Mum is a hard working parent who can’t keep her child warm ffs.

This is one of the most depressing threads I’ve ever read. I actually cannot believe some of the posts telling the OP to move, share a bedroom with her 4 year old and cut her £40 a week food bill.
I am lost for words and can only assume you are just baiting the OP.
OP - it sounds grindingly hard for you and I really hope that things ease for you.
fundamentally, our housing situation is a disgrace. You should be able to access high quality social housing with a rent that is no more than 25 percent of your income.
greedy-bastarditis has become an epidemic in the U.K. and it is leaving hundreds of thousands of people in utterly unsustainable financial hell - all rooted in high rents.
as for the posters who talk about “cut you £40 feed bill” ….take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror tonight and realise that you really, truly, lack humanity.

Brava. 👏🏻

At least some of us have tried to help. Do you think your post will help the OP?

It’s definitely the rent killing you financially. I’m a single parent with 2. I work part time as it wasn’t worth more hours as the tax credits would cancel out and I’d have the same money plus travel and child care. I’m lucky in the north (not really the arse end of nowhere ) as my mortgage was £350 a month and was about to go up when the deal ended to over £700 which would have crippled me but sadly my father passed away and I inherited enough to pay off the mortgage. Saving that money monthly has made a difference with the cost of other things increasing. My kids as of this year are also out of childcare so that’s more money saved as well. I was never entitled to help towards housing as I had a mortgage when married the continued with it myself.

As for people saying the ex/dad has it easy and should be contributing. Whilst I partly agree, especially as he’s declaring less than he earns and playing the system, nt everyone is in the same situation. my ex lives on his own and as I’m the resident parent with all the child benefit and tax credits, he has struggled to pay his own bills. He needed to rent 3 beds for himself and his now 3 kids - 2 share and one has their own room, works full time on minimum wage, has had to sell his car as he can no longer afford it and hasn’t paid me money for a long time as he genuinely can’t afford it. He had to privately rent when we split and his rent was double my mortgage for the same sized house in a similar type of area a few miles from where we live.

Id always panned to go full time around now so that I could maybe sell up and upgrade to a bigger house - nothing massive but a second toilet would really make a difference - but not a cat in hell’s chance I’d even get a mortgage for my own house never mind something bigger.

It’s definitely worth doing some calculations though to see if working less could save you on child care and increase your UC.

Interestingly I should als add that when my ex moved out o went to see me of those debt advisors to see if they could help e out with budget etc and they told me I was spending less on food than they would recommend and had nothing much to cut back on at the time as I wasn’t going out socialising or getting regular hair cuts which they put into the budget.

Yes, I very much expect that the OP (like me) will take some solace that this poster can see the utterly bullshit ‘advice’ on here as exactly that; bullshit. How on earth do you think telling someone (a single mother working 40 hours, no less) to just spend less than £40pw on her food shop is helpful? It isn’t, is it? It’s complete idiocy and you ought to stop pretending otherwise. Or maybe when life gets hard for you you’ll just start sharing a bedroom with your child(ren), take in a complete stranger and live off crumbs. Use your bloody brain and develop some compassion.

Sadly rent over 1000 pounds is normal nowadays.

Out of interest I had a look at the rental market in Birmingham the other day, it is very common for small 3 bed room semis with a box room to be rented out for over 1000 pounds now.

Oh as also, the tricky thing about earning extra via a pay rise or overtime etc when on UC is that unless it’s a substantial increase, all you do is lessen your UC by the same about so you end up working harder for nothing.

Are you on a water meter? We are family of 5 and our water bill is £30 on a meter so that’s worth checking.
Do you watch bbc? If not could get rid of the license.
how much cover is your life insurance? We have 200k for £12. Look at cavendish to switch that.
phone bill swap to sim only at end of contract and get it down to £10 pm
using tax free childcare for your after school club?
are you in London? Sell the car and use public transport?
however, even if you do these little things getting nearly 30k its awful that you don’t feel comfortable, it’s the extortionate rent that is insane. The gulf between council housing and private rent costs is horrible.