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Cost of living. I'm having a meltdown tonight.

675 replies

TwentyTwenty20 · 05/10/2023 21:09

I put my heating on for an hour or so this morning because I forgot to dry my son's school uniform, and my landlord won't let me install a tumble dryer. It cost me an extra £2. I didn't put my heating on until January last year. We lived under the duvet until then. I got my son changed under the covers. I used to just get in the bath and stay there in the evening to keep warm. I'm a lone parent, I take home £2100 a month and get £140 UC, £96 child benefit. My rent is £1000 a month. Council tax £150 with SP discount. Electric, gas, petrol, car insurance, Internet, school uniform, food, life insurance, water bills, £130 on before and after school clubs so I can work, then there's failed MOT which I had to put on a credit card which I'm paying off, tv license, phone bill etc. Then there's life and scraping by so my son can continue his gymnastics hes been doing since he was 2. Council is awful and you can't apply for any of the cost of living stuff unless they have 'identified you'. I've done income and expenditure with a professional and they've said I've pretty much cut back as far as I can. They fine tooth combed my bank statements. How is the amount I make not enough? I have applied for 6 cheaper houses in the last month and none will rent to me. I'm 400 and something on the list for council housing. 10 years ago I was on 18k a year and comfortable and saving.

Will this ever get better? That's a genuine question because I can do all the cutting back I can but if I keep getting knocked back for cheaper housing and higher paid jobs I just don't know how I will go on. It is no life and I don't enjoy getting out of bed in the morning anymore.

OP posts:
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17
Princessandthepea0 · 06/10/2023 21:36

Crikeyalmighty · 06/10/2023 21:16

@Princessandthepea0 it's not an idea I agree with- but I do know it doesn't work the way you stated it. Google it if you are interested- I do know a few countries are considering it

That’s not as I stated it. The person I quoted did.

Meggie2008 · 06/10/2023 22:10

@Broccoliforever take home around £1600 a month, so not very high

Meggie2008 · 06/10/2023 22:14

Crikeyalmighty · 06/10/2023 21:14

@Meggie2008 how long have you had that place for a mortgage that low and is is on a fixed low rate still ? and the fact it is a mortgage is totally irrelevant to anyone paying rent - people can't just buy these days without hefty income and hefty savings for deposits- not everyone can just live anywhere either because of various committments - often parents or siblings etc

Moved in October 2020 so just under 3 years. Re fixed mid last year so interest rate still low at about 3.3% at the moment.
I wasn't suggesting anything re mortgage or renting, I'm genuinely surprised seeing how high people's rents are on this thread as it's a lot cheaper here.

Crikeyalmighty · 06/10/2023 22:50

@Meggie2008 Yep- I'm always gobsmacked what you can buy in Scotland for reasonable money- I wasn't doubting you either- thing is though as I said people often are tied to specific areas for so many reasons

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 06/10/2023 23:17

Princessandthepea0 · 06/10/2023 21:13

High earners pay it back in tax was the quote. How does that work then? We already have such a shortage of high earners because they are all fucking off because excessive tax, cost of living, low comparative salaries. This is not an attractive country anymore to anyone. We already can’t fund the state due to these issues as the people who are left aren’t working (the majority). We are already borrowing to fund the state as it is.

Taxing earnings is a form of theft. Land Value Tax is the fairest tax.

SequentialAnalyst · 06/10/2023 23:49

Sadly, we are a post-industrial post-colonial country. We don't make much, we sell goods and services to each other, or make money through squeezing people who have hobson's choice when it comes to housing. (Sorry, bit cynical. NB I am NOT landlord bashing.)

Our older houses were designed to be heated by coal fires, which give out the right sort of heat, require ventilation, and generate a certain amount of water, which keeps the air moist. Until I was 11, our house had coal fires, like the majority of London houses - I come originally from a suburb in Zone 4. Then the Clean Air Act was passed, and my DF had gas fires put in. When he died in 2016 he still lived in that very same house, he still had no central heating, still had gas fires (newer ones) and the water was still heated with an electric immersion heater. Unlike in my childhood, the bathroom was by then heated by a wall-mounted electric fire, which by then probably would have not been allowed under modern building regulations.

(By the way, people forget that up till the late 1960s, London buildings were Black with soot, and I mean BLACK.)

Since then, our climate has got noticeably wetter, with much less snow each winter. We have prioritised minimising heat loss from our dwellings, at the expense of ventilation, and we no longer routinely dry our clothes outside on the washing line - in England, you need someone at home, who can keep an eye on the weather, and take in, and put out again, the washing accordingly. We also wash our clothes much more frequently than we used to - I never wash anything after a single wearing, unless it's all sweaty or something most likely tomato sauce down my front again.

All this means that there is now a serious problem with black mould in very many dwellings.

I live on my own in an all-electric flat. Costs are not too high, because I have never heated my bedroom, ever (unless it was also my sitting-room in a shared house). I only heat the living room, and that has a very good modern electric radiator. Most importantly to me, it is not a night-storage heater. It gives out heat only when I want it to.

I have a large modern hot water boiler, and probably waste money heating water and then not using it all. A tankful will provide enough water for a bath, plus a day's washing up. Plus point is that I have slatted shelving about it, which means I have somewhere I can air clothes when they are nearly dry.

I do not iron, and have no tumbler drier - but I had a condenser drier and ironed the odd bit of school uniform and work clothes when I was still married, and we were bringing up our 2 DC. A drier is expensive to run, though (anything that generates heat will generally be more expensive to run compared with, say, a TV or computer).

I hope this essay is of some help! I was seized by the Muse, and could not resist BrewBrew

SequentialAnalyst · 07/10/2023 00:00

slatting shelving above - not about <sigh> (I'd already used up my edit time when I noticed this)

Whalewatchers · 07/10/2023 00:05

Check that your car insurance doesn't already have breakdown cover ... many do. Then you could potentially cancel your separate policy and save a tenner a month.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 07/10/2023 02:36

DragonFly98 · 06/10/2023 20:58

I am speaking from experience when we were just starting out as a family (unplanned pregnancy) we rented a single room in a shared house because that's all we could afford. A mum using the lounge as a bedroom is absolutely fine with only one other person in the house. Yes a bedroom is preferable but it's not a terrible option.

I am sorry you had to live like that. I genuinely don't think anyone in a so-called rich and civilised country should have to live like that.

peonygirl · 07/10/2023 11:46

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 07/10/2023 02:36

I am sorry you had to live like that. I genuinely don't think anyone in a so-called rich and civilised country should have to live like that.

I agree, we should be progressing not regressing. But there is even worse situation now - in many cases they won't rent you a room if you're having a child. I am currently pregnant and moved a month ago (I had to because my previous flat became a health risk). It took me a long time to find a flat that allowed children!! It is this bad at the moment and yes, I live in the North in an area that doesn't constitute as a rich one. I had agents flat on decline showing me a flat when I said it will be me and a baby, one even asked for financial breakdown of my maternity cover before declining my visit. Mind you, I have a solid pay check with one of the largest employers in the region. There would be no opportunity for a shared living where I am, as said I don't think there would be anyone who'd take in a single mum with a newborn baby.

SUCkythings · 07/10/2023 11:50

Yes so many rules about kids and pets. Ll’s want nice 20-30 sthg professional couples. Such a shame. I wonder when society is going to give single mums the support, acknowledgment and respect they deserve? They are 1/4 of all parents; doing the job of mother and father on a low income; carrying all the stress, burden of expectation. When will society say the fathers must step up and its not good enough that they don’t?

Happysinglemum72 · 07/10/2023 17:50

I don’t know what to say except I feel the same…. Lone parent my take home is £1000 less than you my total after uc is £1600. I’m struggling. Just two years ago this was a comfortable amount now every day is a struggle. No pay rise in 6 years either!

Michele4567 · 07/10/2023 18:29

Hi.
Your numbers don't add up. You should have a few hundred spare a month.
I would suggest dumping the car and busing or walking . Also look at relocating to a smaller property You take home about the same I do from a full time job.

peonygirl · 07/10/2023 18:37

@Michele4567 she has provided a very thorough financial break down and numbers do add up. Also, there are areas in the UK where buses are not running often (I live in an area where I can get to a destination in 20 min by car but with a bus or bus/train combo it takes 1h30 - this is not always possible to accommodate, not to mention that the buses don't run over the weekend). I now car share to get things sorted faster and get to work, while friends are great, helping me with heavy items because I just cannot drag them on to a bus. But long term this is not going to work and I will face a similar situation as OP.

Uggtrending · 07/10/2023 18:45

@Michele4567 it's not the size of the property its the rent amount and this has been covered already. RTFT.

UsernamenotavailableBob · 07/10/2023 18:47

Buses round here are £85 for a monthly ticket. My car is £70 a month to fuel. Please stop advising people to ditch their cars.

DorsetCafes · 07/10/2023 18:48

what do you do for a living OP?

A few years ago I was on my own, on benefits with a baby. I managed to find a decent paying job when he was 2 and eventually cleared all my debts and was able to start saving. That job was a lifesaver and I am very grateful to my boss at the time.

Is there any chance that with a CV revamp and maybe a bit of extra training you could upgrade your job role or move employer to get a bit higher pay?

Roxydenn · 07/10/2023 18:55

I'm seriously very worried for the UK population!! we have always lived comfortably, husband has a great job I work from home. 2 children still living at home. The way the bills have soared this year, the food shop weekly has gone up 100% and we don't eat lavishly! I say it daily that I don't know how people are managing to pay the bills and eat, especially when it's just a single wage household , ,,, I truly feel for you and wish I had some advice but I'm honestly really scared for what is going to happen to a lot of us in this country and how we are ever going to come out the other side without something drastic being done to stop the prices of EVERYTHING going through the roof further. 💔

Michele4567 · 07/10/2023 18:56

What?

Lottie3444 · 07/10/2023 18:58

In the same boat it's awful every penny matters but feels like you have to be super organized and can't relax. I remember the days when I had loads of spare money available after rent and bills I've even given up the car but walking everywhere in the wet weather is not fun either. Just hang in there for your son and hopefully we will all get though this.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 07/10/2023 19:04

Princessandthepea0 · 06/10/2023 21:02

Mental idea, everyone earns the same no matter how in demand their skills are and how much they study and pay to qualify. Good luck with that. Already enough brain drain with the PAYE tax system.

That isn't how a universal income works.

Also not sure how income tax causes brain drain.

Darhon · 07/10/2023 19:04

Whatapickle23 · 05/10/2023 21:40

It's really shit, I'm sorry you're in this situation.

I'm due to qualify in a profession within the next 6 months. I've worked hard for years to get qualified and into a professional job so I can provide a better life for me and my child. The one thing that's kept me going all these years is knowing we can move into a nice little house and my child can pursue a hobby each week, maybe even a gym membership for me and a one week holiday once a year. I used to stay up late and do the sums and get excited. That was all more than achievable, I'd have been able to save each month too!

I've recently re-done the sums and now rents have gone up by a crazy amount and everything is so expensive, there's no way I can afford any of the things that I dreamt of. I might as well have not bothered and sat on my arse all these years. Wages haven't kept up with the cost of living, there's no reasonably affordable housing (not everyone can move to the arse end of nowhere, if we all did move then the rents there would soon rise to match everywhere else defeating the purpose).

It's a fucking disgrace and none of the political parties seem to give a shit.

Yep. Crap, isn’t it. I’m a middle income professional on well over average wage and this is what it costs. No childcare but a kid at Uni. Minimum loan so my half is a lot. You being there and engaged with your child is honestly the most important thing

enchantedsquirrelwood · 07/10/2023 19:05

UsernamenotavailableBob · 07/10/2023 18:47

Buses round here are £85 for a monthly ticket. My car is £70 a month to fuel. Please stop advising people to ditch their cars.

But you have insurance, MOT and servicing costs on top.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 07/10/2023 19:05

Ditch the car.
move to a 1 bedroom property.
or
move in to share a room with your son or into the lounge and get a lodger or-air b&b the 2nd bedroom.

UsernamenotavailableBob · 07/10/2023 19:06

enchantedsquirrelwood · 07/10/2023 19:05

But you have insurance, MOT and servicing costs on top.

I do but I factor that in, save and pay them annually so I have the money free in the month. For me to ditch my car would cost more than to keep it.

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