Cost of living. I'm having a meltdown tonight.

[TwentyTwenty20]

I put my heating on for an hour or so this morning because I forgot to dry my son's school uniform, and my landlord won't let me install a tumble dryer. It cost me an extra £2. I didn't put my heating on until January last year. We lived under the duvet until then. I got my son changed under the covers. I used to just get in the bath and stay there in the evening to keep warm. I'm a lone parent, I take home £2100 a month and get £140 UC, £96 child benefit. My rent is £1000 a month. Council tax £150 with SP discount. Electric, gas, petrol, car insurance, Internet, school uniform, food, life insurance, water bills, £130 on before and after school clubs so I can work, then there's failed MOT which I had to put on a credit card which I'm paying off, tv license, phone bill etc. Then there's life and scraping by so my son can continue his gymnastics hes been doing since he was 2. Council is awful and you can't apply for any of the cost of living stuff unless they have 'identified you'. I've done income and expenditure with a professional and they've said I've pretty much cut back as far as I can. They fine tooth combed my bank statements. How is the amount I make not enough? I have applied for 6 cheaper houses in the last month and none will rent to me. I'm 400 and something on the list for council housing. 10 years ago I was on 18k a year and comfortable and saving.

Will this ever get better? That's a genuine question because I can do all the cutting back I can but if I keep getting knocked back for cheaper housing and higher paid jobs I just don't know how I will go on. It is no life and I don't enjoy getting out of bed in the morning anymore.

Do you get universal credit? Could you work less and pay less childcare and claim UC? Have you checked if that will make you better off? Could you retrain/upskill yourself for promotions etc? It is tough.

@Broccoliforever

She explained her debt in her op

Cost of living payments come from being on UC or tax credits. A COL payment is imminent

Sorry op no words of wisdom but I can see why you're struggling.

I hope you get some good advice and not pages of people telling you how rich you are/ how they survive on much less and still find enough for two holidays a year 🙄

Do you claim your childcare costs back through UC

Are you sure you’re not entitled to more UC?

Home - Debtors Anonymous UK

How long until the MOT is paid off on the credit card?

Is your UC calculation correct? Seems low for, I assume, a high-ish rent area.

And, as PP said, is that including childcare costs?

https://benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/

Get onto Citizens Advice - they'll do uoi a benefits check to make sure you're getting everything you're entitled to, and they are brilliant at helping with stuff like debt and budgeting, and they know what grants etc you might be eligible for. Good luck, I feel for you x

It is shocking how the basic bills add up (not just electricity, water, gas, but insurance, car costs, tv license, internet, etc).

Can you maximise income? Improve your earnings?

@TwentyTwenty20

It's so shit isn't it

I have really noticed this last 6 months or so the squeeze is getting tighter and tighter and we are two earners with low mortgage

It's a constant battle robbing Peter to pay Paul and trying to juggle

We are very fortunate that although not skint at all we are struggling to build up any kind of savings and have just had the most expensive year ever with car bills vets bills and dc bills.

The list feels endless

Don't have any specific advice but just wanted to say I know that pit of the stomach feeling so well and feeling stuck and unable to tighten things in anymore is horrible

I'm sorry, sometimes it all just gets too much doesn't it?! You're doing a fantastic job and you sound like a great mum.

Perhaps the school have 2nd hand uniform sales for future.

I sell my boys old clothes on vinted and buy them new clothes from there.

Shop at Lidl and Aldi and do a strict shop - it make a big difference to the monthly food costs.

We have an electric dryer which we use in winter to get the cold off the clothes after they've been on the airers a few days. Lay clothes flat and cover with a dry towel to keep the heat in. Might be cheaper than putting on the heater. Might work out cheaper in the long run to buy extra uniform bits.

And honestly, see if your GP can refer you to a food bank - it would really help.

Part of the problem is that the local housing allowances that UC base their UC rent element on are often no-where near the actual rent that people are paying. It's fine if you're in social housing they pay the full amount ( unless you have extra bedroom ) and rent substantially lower anyway. People in extortionate private rentals are basically the ones suffering.

Id just get a tumble dryer tbh. Im a landlord and I don't think thats a reasonable prohibition by the landlord. Yes he could serve a sec 21 notice but I bet he has failed on many of the documents and safety checks to make it valid.

Can you pursue your DC's father for CM?

And as on all these threads from lone parents where the parent cannot afford to live, the question that everyone is always asked is whether the child's dad is paying child maintenance ? It really makes me furious how so many get away with not paying for their kids.

That sounds so hard OP not surprised you're fed up. Is there any contribution from your son's father? I say this kindly as you could certainly use it.

I always find comments about the child’s father quite judgey.
If people could get cm from the other parent, they would.
Not aimed at anybody, I’m just sensitive about this because of my own situation.

£1100 rent
£100 fuel
£150 Council tax
£130 childcare costs
£20 life insurance
£20 phone bill
£25 Internet
£30 gymnastics
£30 water
£51 car insurance
£50 credit card
£160-£200 food/toiletries/cleaning products/stuff for my empty unfurnished house
£10 breakdown cover
£30 for underpayment of council tax
£5 contents insurance
£106 loan (family court costs - he got no contact so do not regret this)
£13 TV license
£60-70 gas and electric

I cancelled my music lessons last month which hurt but I couldn't justify them.

Forgot to add his dad earns over 40k a year but works for his friend and declares 16k a year so I get a whopping £7 a week from him.

It's really shit, I'm sorry you're in this situation.

I'm due to qualify in a profession within the next 6 months. I've worked hard for years to get qualified and into a professional job so I can provide a better life for me and my child. The one thing that's kept me going all these years is knowing we can move into a nice little house and my child can pursue a hobby each week, maybe even a gym membership for me and a one week holiday once a year. I used to stay up late and do the sums and get excited. That was all more than achievable, I'd have been able to save each month too!

I've recently re-done the sums and now rents have gone up by a crazy amount and everything is so expensive, there's no way I can afford any of the things that I dreamt of. I might as well have not bothered and sat on my arse all these years. Wages haven't kept up with the cost of living, there's no reasonably affordable housing (not everyone can move to the arse end of nowhere, if we all did move then the rents there would soon rise to match everywhere else defeating the purpose).

It's a fucking disgrace and none of the political parties seem to give a shit.