Cost of living. I'm having a meltdown tonight.

[TwentyTwenty20]

I put my heating on for an hour or so this morning because I forgot to dry my son's school uniform, and my landlord won't let me install a tumble dryer. It cost me an extra £2. I didn't put my heating on until January last year. We lived under the duvet until then. I got my son changed under the covers. I used to just get in the bath and stay there in the evening to keep warm. I'm a lone parent, I take home £2100 a month and get £140 UC, £96 child benefit. My rent is £1000 a month. Council tax £150 with SP discount. Electric, gas, petrol, car insurance, Internet, school uniform, food, life insurance, water bills, £130 on before and after school clubs so I can work, then there's failed MOT which I had to put on a credit card which I'm paying off, tv license, phone bill etc. Then there's life and scraping by so my son can continue his gymnastics hes been doing since he was 2. Council is awful and you can't apply for any of the cost of living stuff unless they have 'identified you'. I've done income and expenditure with a professional and they've said I've pretty much cut back as far as I can. They fine tooth combed my bank statements. How is the amount I make not enough? I have applied for 6 cheaper houses in the last month and none will rent to me. I'm 400 and something on the list for council housing. 10 years ago I was on 18k a year and comfortable and saving.

Will this ever get better? That's a genuine question because I can do all the cutting back I can but if I keep getting knocked back for cheaper housing and higher paid jobs I just don't know how I will go on. It is no life and I don't enjoy getting out of bed in the morning anymore.

Well, I'm going to bed. Thank you everyone.

Can you not get a washer dryer? We have a basic one and it’s pretty cheap to run! You don’t need a vent for it, the water is condensed and goes down the waste. You could sell the existing washer to fund a second hand one!

You don't need to plumb in a dryer. A condensing (or heat pump) dryer can go anywhere. Jut dint buy those second hand because they're probably already dead).

Even a vented dryer just needs to be close to a window that you can poke the pipe through.

Oh 😢fuckers. Him and them.

It's a small two-bed house.

I actually feel the same. It's not just the government, I think the voting system is rubbish too, and the lies in the press aren't helping.

I mean we can't vote properly if we don't know the truth about what's going on.

And we can't get the best MPs if we are having to second guess which party has the best chance of getting in through the first past the post system.

But I would give my eye teeth for a snap general election right now.

@kamboozled
@TwentyTwenty20
It's not ideal but what about a spin dryer? My gran used one and it sped up the drying process, but because heat wasn't used it was cheaper - also doesn't need installing.

Regarding being cold - I use a type of clothing called heat tec which can be bought from uniclo. You wear it under your clothing and it's very effective!

I know this is a monetary outlay but have you considered using a dehumidifier to help dry clothes over the winter rather than trying to get a dryer? They are portable, very cheap to run and absorb moisture from the air while producing a small amount of heat so theres a dual benefit to the power used. I used one when stuck in a similar situation (Inefficiently insulated Victorian flat with no space or option for a dryer) and it was surprisingly good - used to set it up overnight in a small room with the clothes on a rack, and the door closed, and in the morning the clothes would be dry and the room heated enough that it was pleasant to get dressed in there, and drying washing didn't cause humidity problems in the house. Cost is about 100 to 200 but they are really energy efficient and your landlord could not complain in any way about it,
https://www.idealhome.co.uk/property-advice/how-much-does-it-cost-to-run-a-dehumidifier-298272

As for the rest of it, its shit, and I can understand your frustration.

@TwentyTwenty20

From one single mum on the breadline to another.... my dc is now 30 and remembers only how adored he was. It's tough but you are amazing doing everything you are doing x

OP - Sorry you find yourself in this situation, ive been there its awful.

Council tax - message them .tell them you cant afford that amount per month. Just pay what you can( as long as you are paying something).
Credit card - pay the absolute minimum ( i uses to pay £1 !
A month).

Hope you are ok @TwentyTwenty20 I get the stress and miserable feeling. I hope something great is coming your way.

I wouldn’t feel guilty for considering sex work at all! Batshit crazy or not, the fact you considered it is a sign of the times.

I heard drop shipping is incredibly profitable if you can get into it and fully understand it - shipping directly to the buyer through the supplier and keeping profits? So is pallet flipping which involves buying a pallet of returned goods from somewhere like Amazon and sell them on. I read most of the time the products are fine and are returned for trivial reasons like “wrong colour” but they can’t resell apparently so it’s all sold off in bulk.

It’s a horrible time for everyone I really don’t have the answer as to how the government can possibly fix it. I as well as probably the vast majority of the population of the UK have lost faith in the government so how they’ll fix it is beyond me.

My DS is now 29 - bright, savvy, but not academic. Of course I did all the worrying and encouraging during his GCSEs etc and I remember asking him about his career aspirations several times. At 16 he pointed out to me that the fields he was interested in and the training available would probably be virtually obsolete by the time he’d qualify. He has chosen to get into extreme physical fitness and pursue essentially manual jobs - one of which, the one that’s been steady (bar pandemic) for 8 years was fencing and rigging for events - including film premieres - yeah thanks AI for causing the writers and actors to strike and that industry to go into free fall.

He’s currently landscape gardening again - however as he approaches his 30s he is beginning to feel the physical toll and may only have another ten years before his knees and hips properly give out. I’ve encouraged him to think about becoming a PT because he’s got a good way with people, but that might easily fall into the “cut back on luxuries “ camp.

I really don’t know what the answer is.

@WonderingAboutBabies - why would the op need to look at claiming job seekers allowance, she’s already mentioned she has a job working 40 hrs a week ?

Posters saying £1000 rent is too high - it's really not that much today! rents are extortionate. When I moved into my current house 5 years ago the adjoining, identical house was up for rent at £625 - last month it went up again for £950 and was rented out within the week. This is for a bog standard 2 bed 1 bath semi in an average (i.e. not rough but not posh) suburb of a medium sized city that's traditionally been a cheaper area (not south east). 2 beds in the 'nice' area of said city go for up to £1600. It's insane.

Nowt helpful to say on saving money or side hustles, I do just want to say I admire your resilience, and hang on in there. When I felt my world was caving in, and I could throw the towel in, I kept plodding on for me and the kids, and eight years on it has got better. I eventually had some luck.

I really do think there should be some sort of cap regarding housing costs - a limit on profits that can be accrued or something. In fact I think anything that could be regarded as “essential” should be protected from rank profiteering.

Privatisation of utilities etc means that shareholders expect profit, and that market is well and truly rigged. Sometimes I expect to be charged for the very air we breathe….

What's £395?

Apply for a discretionary housing payment from council to help with the rent shortfall.

You can't just not pay council tax. You soon find yourself being taken to court.

Op is your full rent included for you uc? If not you maybe able to get short term help with a discretionary housing payment. This will gop up your award for rent. Although it is a short term solution and you have to reapply at the end of each award, more and more people are relying on these payments due to the massive gap between lha and rents. Please search for this on your local councils website

I am just so sorry, it sounds tough and I totally get why you feel ground down by it all. Sorry, I have nothing to offer in the way of advice, but I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. I spent a lot of last winter in bed, only putting the heating on for a couple of hours a day from December to March. Today it felt a bit chilly and I began to worry about what lies ahead.

Hey,

Im sorry if this has already been said but the CSA told me they actively do a lot more now in terms of parents trying to hide money.
Its not as black and white as it used to be, in that if it’s not showing in their bank then their not earning it.
They told me if you can provide evidence in the way of texts, facebook etc that the dad is earning more than he says he is, they will investigate this further - it might be something worth looking into.

You sound like a really amazing mum though, and i’m sorry you’re having such a rubbish time x

Hi I’m another gymnastics mum. Sometimes the fees are a killer! It’s definitely worth keeping an eye on this grant https://britishgymnasticsfoundation.org/how-we-can-help/hardship/

Do you happen to know anyone in the masons as they also have funding for able and talented children

Sorry OP! Sounds like you’ve done a lot of looking into your finances already. It’s a really tough time so just know that you aren’t alone in any of this. (I know that does help much)!

A few ideas off the top of my head:
—Have you done all the bank account switches: https://www.moneysupermarket.com/current-accounts/results-page/?p=0&source=GOO-0X0000048C2DEA1CCE&gbraid=0AAAAAD4DchCJXX2p2HvHumbnjYZ53OSde&gclid=CjwKCAjwvfmoBhAwEiwAG2tqzKjQ8oLXZyxokUi5uUMVyp4YBlmpZJpdTAHE7ki8dFqVlEcAXV67dxoCT2IQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

£175 to switch your current account to first direct and/or do the £210 one for TSB. (I would ignore the Lloyds as that one you have to pay £13 a month for the account.)

If you don’t want to switch your actual current account you can often open a second one with your existing bank and then use that one to do the ‘switch’. So that you still have your first account going. Obviously not a game changer but easy one off to help with the credit card bill.

— If you like dogs you could register yourself on Rover. You might be able to do some dog sitting/dog walking for a bit of extra cash. Appreciate your landlord might not be too pleased but it’s not your own dog and most leases allow visits.

On the same lines people are often looking for small pet sitting/drops ins to feed/clean out pets when they are on holiday so maybe you could advertise on a Facebook page to do something like that.

— are there any mums at the school where you could do childcare exchanges (morning/evening swaps?) to cut down on the school clubs.

— some good ideas here. Including renting out driveway/ council tax checker/ checking PAYE code / reclaim bank fees https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/boost-your-income/

Hope something helps! 🌸