To get a new identity and face and move to a new country?

[SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh]

Just that, really.

I went for a brunch with some Mums from my oldest's new class. I chose pancakes, a safe choice. Or so I thought.

They came with a cute little meringuy decoration on top. I started with that. I cut it in 2, put it my mouth and realised that it was butter. I looked up and made eye contact with one of the Mums. She looked slightly horrified. I had no choice but swallow.

I hesitated between eating the other half like a boss while maintaining eye contact and praying that things don't start to slide down or up before the end of th e brunch or using the butter as mother nature had intended. I chose the latter (and still prayed)

The Mums are nice enough but they don't look like they would mix butter with meringue. I don't get out often.

I have no choice do I? We need to pack up and start a new life elsewhere?

I once did the reverse of that in a Chinese restaurant. They brought out a bowl of cold water and when they put it on the table I thought "ah, finger bowl, thank you" and stuck my fingers in it. It was actually for the caramelised toffee apples.

The waiter didn't miss a beat and popped a slice of lemon in it before bringing another for the toffee apples.

I have to say that this post of yours is killing me! I am laughing way too hard and loud! 😂😆😉

I can just see my DH stumbling out half-asleep going, 'What is so funny that you're raising the roof?"

🤣

15 Yemen Road, Yemen?

I was once on a plane with someone who when they came and poured him a cup of tea (back in the days when that was standard in economy not just in business) he was then afterwards complaining to me they hadn't given him any milk. I said they did, there was a little pot of it (you know, the tiny cartons of UHT with the foil on top). He said oh he drank that, he thought it was just a really small drink of milk.

Oh my God that reminds me! At nursery school the teachers bought us trays of little things to taste and guess what they were. One was white crystals, it was sugar. They took the trays away and bought new ones. I saw the white crystals and greedily scooped up a big handful into my mouth. It was salt.

Bastard nursery teachers. They set that up! 😁

😁

I do wonder if @TheBluntTruth has been able to take on the chin the blunt truth they have had spoken to them about their colossal, and unique, misreading of the OP.

By being so comprehensively derided, they have completely destroyed the @TheBluntTruth brand they were clearly trying to craft. Oh dear. The humanity.

Yes, I'm English but have lived in Scotland for 23 years, love butter on my (Scotch) pancakes! 😋

My Dad puts salt in his porridge and he is English. He doesn't eat pancakes

I would like the Blunt Truth to be my friend. Or at least to be in her gang.

is there an application or hazing process?

Me too.

Once when going through the revolving doors of my last workplace I got into the same compartment of the door as the man in front of me. No idea what possessed me. Did consider handing in my notice.

I think you should have added 'lighthearted' to your title OP, or do some people have zero sense of humour? 🙄

When I was around 11 or 12, I mistook a mini egg sandwich (cut into small rounds and open faced) for a macaroon cookie at the Indian prime minister’s house. It was la reception with the then prime minister of India and only about 5 or 6 other people. I happily took a bite of what I thought was a cookie and then had to find a way to politely spit it out into a napkin and dispose of it (because I loathed eggs and still do!)

Why would you want to be friends with someone who posts nasty, unsupportive things from behind the safety of a keyboard?

You have to rollerskate in your underwear (but carrying a weapon) five times around your house, shouting "I am not a number, I am a free man!" Then get dressed, climb onto your roof and throw cheese scones at the neighbours. Then purchase face paints and pretend convincingly to be a tiger for an entire day. But occasionally confuse everyone by standing up and belting out your favourite show tunes. Also, video all this and post a link here for our collective delight. Don't know whether or not it will get you into the gang but it should be fun to watch.

When I was first dating my now-husband, we went to a Japanese restaurant. My husband had several Japanese friends, so he was reasonably au fait with Japanese cuisine. I felt a little bit like an uncultured country bumpkin as at this time I'd never been to a Japanese restaurant before. He asked if I wanted to share some edamame beans. I said yes, I love edamame beans. And I did - I used to use them in cooking at home.

Of course, when I used to buy edamame beans these were frozen in the supermarket. So when the little bowl of edamame beans came out in their pods, I was a little stumped. It had never occurred to me that the beans came in pods (stupid). I could see that the pods were salted, so I assumed this was some sort of mange tout situation.

I confidently put a whole edamame bean pod in my mouth. Both my husband and the waitress stared at me. I began chewing and instantly realised I had made an error.

We'd not been dating long, so I don't think he felt bold enough to say anything. So there was just silence. I just chewed it all as best I could, swallowed it, and then we carried on with the meal and made no mention of it.

So yeah, it's not just you, OP!

🤣🤣 the only way to make your power move even stronger after that would be to continue maintaining eye contact, slowly reach over and stab HER swirl of butter onto your fork and eat that too whilst never looking away! 🤣🤣🤣

I think the reference to ' hazing process' means that poster was joking about wanting to be BluntTruth's mate!

At an Asian restaurant, somebody passed to me a lovely delicate looking drinking vessel with water and a slice of lemon in it. I drank it down and thanked them. It transpired to be the water bowl that people had been using to wash their hands after shelling prawns.

Delicious prawny water. I took the Witness Protection Programme option.

@OurRotatingPlanet 😂😂😂

You can't sit with @TheBluntTruth ... You don't even sign your name at the end of your post.

@ShazzaF That's a good test for a first date!

There is a hazing process.

1--Help an elderly person across the street and then knock them down when halfway across. Taking their walker or cane as a trophy is worth extra points.

2--Take candy out of a child's hand and eat it in front of them.

3--Take a pee in your Wheaties.

That's it! Easy Peasy! 😉

AAwww!! Your hazing sounds so much more fun than mine!

Why do I feel like the blunt truth has defintely done number one, but whispered "wellllll.. I would have seen it coming if I was her, so basically, it's on her"