To get a new identity and face and move to a new country?

[SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh]

Just that, really.

I went for a brunch with some Mums from my oldest's new class. I chose pancakes, a safe choice. Or so I thought.

They came with a cute little meringuy decoration on top. I started with that. I cut it in 2, put it my mouth and realised that it was butter. I looked up and made eye contact with one of the Mums. She looked slightly horrified. I had no choice but swallow.

I hesitated between eating the other half like a boss while maintaining eye contact and praying that things don't start to slide down or up before the end of th e brunch or using the butter as mother nature had intended. I chose the latter (and still prayed)

The Mums are nice enough but they don't look like they would mix butter with meringue. I don't get out often.

I have no choice do I? We need to pack up and start a new life elsewhere?

She was staring at me and not politely looking away. Also, I was so surprised to have butter in my mouth and not meringue, I was questioning my whole existence and panicked.

I think you need to start signing your posts The Joke Went Over My Head

Who the hell puts butter on pancakes? That's just weird. Sugar, lemon juice, whipped cream, fruit, cheese, syrup ... But butter? Especially fancified, twirly butter - the world's gone mad.

I've never seen whipped butter served on pancakes, so I probably would have done the same, OP!

If it's any consolation, I regularly swipe a slice of butter with no shame at home. Only salted butter, though. Unsalted butter has a grim, tasteless, sliminess to it that is unbearable and very disappointing.

.. you’re making a mountain out of a molehill, basically meaning you’re turning nothing into something.

Patronising much?

It was Amercian pancakes if it makes a difference?

(America is out to get me)

I once poured sugar all over a lasagna instead of salt and had to eat it as too skint to waste it.

I am glad this thread is turning into a "things I didn't mean to swallow" thread 😂

I think you have shown you are the sort of woman who eats her butter neat - and therefore not to be messed with.

Kudos!

I was at a Chinese lunch where we were all given a little chocolate Buddha-type favour at the end. As I bit into mine I realised with horror that it was in fact made of metal, not chocolate. Given the size (too big to swallow) I had no option but to spit it right back out, to horrified stares and whoops of laughter around me.

This so reminds me of me ex’s mansplaining…

OP I think you can safely stay in the country especially since you bossed the eye contact and didn’t flinch.

Maybe you're having an off moment or maybe. .
The blind truth here is that you've never been shown compassion or empathy for a brain fart (which sounds like what happened to OP) and so your response is to condemn somebody when they do. That's sad for you, you know you can change that?

OP, your writing really tickled me. I am sorry this happened though, I hope in time you can laugh at the WTFness of it! Maybe dine out on it in your old age?

On a serious note - you don't say how old you are but, if you're 40 plus & are increasing having experiences that leave you thinking 'what the hell just happened?!' watch Sex, Myths & the Menopause, C4

Well I think you're adorable, and if any of the others turned their nose up at you making an honest little (hilarious) mistake, they are not worthy of your company!

I really like butter and would happily eat a pat of neat butter right now - particularly whipped butter. And no one had better judge me for that. I don’t think you need to worry.

The blunt truth is that you're coming across as nasty and unhelpful.

and be know as butter big bollocks forevermore

This made me laugh out loud! It’s brilliant!

Now you've got me wondering...if you change your face, do you get to pick? Like you do at the hairdressers? 'I'll have a Sandra Bullock today please'.

I think you bossed it!

Ahahaha!

The blunt truth poster 😂

What a moron.

Signing the name at the bottom too to show how proud she (he?) is of what they've put 😂

Sense of humour bypass.

Gilbert Markham.

I was at a dance comp for my dd, I ordered myself a latte as a treat, when they served me on the counter next to my cup was a silver what I thought chocolate shaker thing thought ooh that might be nice. I put LOADS on , took a sip and realised it was pepper and I was being watched by all the cafe staff. I had to style it out, pretend I’d meant to do it and drink most of it- it was gross.

@Ottolenghilover I am not just yet over 40 but not far. You mean I'm gonna get worse? 😄😄

I don’t think you feel that comfortable with this group. Otherwise you would have just owned it and had a laugh instead of which you went through all this. And they let you. They really don’t matter. Let it go.

Oh get over yourself @TheBluntTruth . She wrote a humorous post about an event in her day. Everyone else got that and responded in that manner. No one else thinks she’s really emigrating or traumatized. It was funny in the manner that many comic novelists or columnists are. Read Diary of a Provincial lady to understand the style and genre.

@TheBluntTruth is deffo a bloke 🤣