To get a new identity and face and move to a new country?

[SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh]

Just that, really.

I went for a brunch with some Mums from my oldest's new class. I chose pancakes, a safe choice. Or so I thought.

They came with a cute little meringuy decoration on top. I started with that. I cut it in 2, put it my mouth and realised that it was butter. I looked up and made eye contact with one of the Mums. She looked slightly horrified. I had no choice but swallow.

I hesitated between eating the other half like a boss while maintaining eye contact and praying that things don't start to slide down or up before the end of th e brunch or using the butter as mother nature had intended. I chose the latter (and still prayed)

The Mums are nice enough but they don't look like they would mix butter with meringue. I don't get out often.

I have no choice do I? We need to pack up and start a new life elsewhere?

I'm sorry you're feeling so embarrassed. If you had been with me I probably wouldn't have even noticed, or would have assumed that you were meant to eat whatever you were eating in the way that you ate it!

Could be worse OP. I had a dog walk with a couple of friends at Easter. we popped into a dog friendly cafe after our walk. The cafe serves up our tea/cake with a plate with tiny chocolate foil Easter eggs and pretty heart shaped biscuits.
I thought, they look nice. Put a biscuit in my mouth and realised they were for the dogs. It tasted revolting but tried to keep my pride and swallowed. Lots of giggles.

When I was a teenager I was invited to a family tea by my boyfriend. Everything was perfect. I reached out to take some butter but I was rock hard. The mother said "it's not butter it's cheese". Instead of saying my mistake I said I actually wanted cheese! I then struggled to hack a bit off with my butter knife.

I once made a duck pancake in a Chinese restaurant out of the grease proof paper from the bottom of the bamboo dish. Didn’t realise what I’d done until I took a bite.

At a works Xmas meal in our canteen. Loaded bread sauce onto my dinner whilst watched by canteen staff who then informed me it was brandy sauce meant for the Xmas Pudding 🤢They didn't offer me a new meal, just scraped as much off as I could 😊

One day when I was out my husband decided to make himself lunch. He spotted a packet of prawns defrosting in the fridge and made himself a lovely prawn salad sandwich. When I got home I had to explain they were raw prawns - surprisingly perhaps he remained quite well. There was no one around to shame him at the time, but I do enjoy telling the tale.

Yes! They are drop scones, I make them sometimes. I don’t know how to whip butter, however.
signed, greenbeansnspinach

What a nightmare! I think we all have a few moments like that in our memory bank, to pop out and keep us awake from time to time. One day your embarrassment will recede enough for you to be able to laugh at it. You carried it off well - I salute you!

I live in rural France my neighbour brought a tray of what I thought was some type of Borscht beetroot dish I dipped my finger in and tasted it the look of surprise on my neighbours face as it was a tray of raw ducks blood that he’d brought round to cook I was gagging forever after he’d left

@WetWetBottomOnTheNightBus You should have styled it out by adding a shot of Kahlua - voila, a delicious White Russian!

There was something on a Dawn French podcast about her being the new girl at boarding school making a sandwich and slicing a thick chunk of cheese for her bread, it was butter, she then felt that she had to eat it, and pretend that they always ate thick slices of butter in her family instead of cheese. Could have continued for years!

It has occurred to me that there's no guarantee the other mum knew it wasn't a tiny meringue. Maybe she's at home cringing about looking horrified about someone eating a bitter swirl when it was actually a tiny meringue?

If you start the meringues everywhere, all the time, campaign at that cafe quick enough she might never find out it was butter at all.

I am still horrified to this day but I was once in a Polynesian style restaurant on a first date. The lighting was quite low which matched the whole theme of the place. As different foods were served I picked up what I thought was some kind of egg roll and bit the top off. To my horror it was a warmed up/rolled up, cotton napkin.😏 My date could not stop laughing. I was in my 20's and totally mortified. Strange how you remember things like that your whole life.

Drat you for reminding me of the time I was on a work trip in the Scottish islands! I walked into the information centre only I was miles away so I took the revolving door the wrong way and had to be rescued when it got stuck! Of course, not only was the door made of glass but so were the walls either side, and the place was packed so I provided lots of entertainment for lots of people. That was fun!

😂😂 start up a go fund me and we’ll all donate towards the new look and change of name 😂

never done this, but my ex husband was ironing in the kitchen once, rather than getting water out of the tap he used some from my glass…. The iron started chucking out sweet smelling brown stuff and was REALLY sticky and he had to
stop using it…. Only when he asked me to drive to my parents to borrow an iron and I told him I’d been drinking chinzano did he realise his mistake 😂

When I was a lot younger I was invited out to lunch by the guitarist of a band I followed. I ordered melon as a starter and they gave me this little pot of what I thought was brown sugar on the side. I literally smothered the melon in it and shoved it in my mouth. It was ginger. I had to try and continue the conversation with my mouth on fire and tears streaming down my face. Needless to say we never did lunch again.

@TryAgainWithFeeling if it makes you feel in any way better, I smacked my head off the underside of a table at work last week, and my manager, without thinking made a very sympathetic noise and went "oooh come here, let me give it a rub better" - I could see the exact point he realised that I was not in fact, his toddler, poor chap was so mortified he couldn't even pretend to style it out

I love this thread.

When I was about 10 or so, I wanted a snack and thought the parchment-wrapped cheese looked delicious. I took a bite straight out of it and immediately realised it was a block of lard. It started melting in my mouth.

Weirdly enough, no one ever commented on the bite taken out of it 😂

Once at a buffet on holiday I popped a teaspoon of "guacamole" into my mouth... it was wasabi! Never lived that one down.

Oh, Lordy! I once slapped my ex on the butt in a crowded room, then realized it was a total stranger! In my defense, who wouId have thought that there would be TWO 6'7" men with black hair and the same haircut in one place???

Ooh I love thick slices of butter!

Oh my goodness I think you win

But why would you put your finger in a collective dish?!?

My American brother and his gf ordered a Chinese takeaway when staying in the UK. They didn’t notice the little wrapped pancakes that came with the duck, and they had never seen prawn crackers before … you can see where this is going…

…to be fair I have since tried this & it is quite nice.

I also had one ex do the mange tout edamame thing, and another, bless him thought the pickled ginger you get with sushi was shaved ham.

If it helps to ease your Dad's embarrassment, his 'butter' may have been Caboc cheese. It's a soft cheese rolled in pinhead oats and it does taste very buttery.

Absolutely gorgeous on a proper, homemade oatcake.