Free bacon butties for the dads - wtf!!

[PlumPudd]

Someone posted this to a community WhatsApp group near me. What the hell?!? I thought it was a joke but apparently it’s a national initiative and happens in playgroups and churches all over the country!!

Free bacon butties for dads to incentivise aka bribe them into spending some of the weekend playing with their own kids!

Firstly, why should they be rewarded / bribed with bacon butties. It’s basic 101 parenting - looking after your own child who you helped to create at the weekend - nobody is giving mums anything to get them to spend the rest of the weekend with the kids.

Secondly, bacon butties for blokes?!?!? What sexist nonsense is this, is bacon too manly for women to handle? Is it the Yorkie bar of sandwich fillings. I bet if they were going to bribe / incentivise mums they wouldn’t give them bacon, they’d give them fondant fancies or face masks or something.

Lighthearted rant over… I know it’s good to encourage equal parenting etc but talk about setting a low bar

@GgttlAll the ones in our area are parent and baby classes. If they offer refreshments, they are for both sexes. I am surprised that is not the case everywhere.

If you think there aren't a plethora of support groups and classes aimed at just mums you need to look around, both in name specifically and also demographically.

'What do mums get?' I mean jesus christ. A dad morning is set up, almost certainly by dads and this is what you moan about.

There is nothing wrong with someone organising this.

Mums aren't losing out by it existing, you're being ridiculous.

Yer, this very much feels like you looking for something to be outraged at.

It's really not that deep.

@PurpleMonkeys
Ducking Winker 😂😂😂
You're amazing and made me chortle!

🫥

It's a good initiative. Fair play.

This.

Some nasty posts on here, particularly the assumptions that there must be women cooking and looking after the kids while the dads sit around being 'rewarded' with bacon bloody sandwiches.

Depends on the group IME - first one DH loved they did it all themselves.

Next area it was child centre run and female staff were doing all the work but the men were allowed bacon buttes and hot tea/coffee but in mid week groups there was no food for parents mostly mum odd Dad and we weren't even allowed to drink water.

I never complained as they were pretty rule bound and tad patronising - no chairs for us either mid week had to be on floors even at 9 months pg as apparently it increased interaction with children - which personally having been to groups with chairs didn't seem to have much effect - same mothers ignoring kids and others interacting loads chair or lack seemed irrelevant to that.

Next area it was child centre run and female staff were doing all the work but the men were allowed bacon buttes and hot tea/coffee but in mid week groups there was no food for parents mostly mum odd Dad and we weren't even allowed to drink water

If the centre only had female staff then obviously female staff would do all the work

And the issue isn't that men got food, the issue was the midweek groups didn't. The answer should be to take the bacon butties away from the dads but to push back on why the mostly Mum groups weren't allowed water

No no no! We must all pretend it's a zero-sum game so it can be presented as a tool of the patriarchy!

Predominately female but not all - and staff did no running round after mothers midweek at all.

I also wasn't advocating taking bacon away from the men just pointing out that some groups it is men being catered for as where midweek groups weren't though not all groups so have men sorting themselves out.

Honest being told no to drink of water when bf and a chair at 9 months pg pushing back basically meant going and putting up or not going and as they'd undercut many of the other groups pricewise so some shut due to lack of demand didn't feel there were many other options.

I suspect that why men got bacon as if things weren't good they would just not go while for most women midweek it was still a better option than nothing.

I'm just laughing at Ducking Winker 😂

@AInightingale exactly! What are these men? They’re not dads more like sperm donors. Very sad!! When on earth are they going to step up and actually parent their own children. 🙄🙄

I think it’s a good idea. My husband went to one in town when ours were younger. The men there cooked the bacon butties. Me and my friend had lunch in town/did shopping or I stayed at home and chilled. The kids loved it. It was a group set up by dads, for dads on a church hall. Nothing to stop mums getting together and arranging the same?

Nothing wrong with this. Nothing to stop mums having this own activity and grilling bacon butties, is there?

I often hear, (and to be fair usually rightly so) about men wanting a part of women's spaces, "they can campaign for these things themselves!" . Which is right . But it goes both ways!

From experience of going along to this group (mums can go too) I can confirm that there are other foods available not just bacon butties. It does sound like a bit of bribe on the advert but then I've seen free cake and coffee at "mum's" ones (really parent groups) during the week and that's a bit of cliche too.

I'm sure there are loads of mum and baby groups so what's wrong with encouraging Dad's to frequent a particular premises? Some of you on here are far too highly strung. It's good for men to be encouraged to go to places with their kids. They might meet like minded men to chat to. Stop being so offended by something that doesn't suit you.

@PlumPudd @PurpleMonkeys

I was wondering about the veggie option!🙂

Well done you. That’s very brave.
Actually I have seen the men who go for breakfast and I think I’d rather eat my own earwax than have to be in the same room as some of them.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

YABU. Many dads feel very excluded from baby/toddler groups. Many dads are actually quite isolated outside of work, and could do with somewhere to meet and talk to other dads.

Mental health issues amongst men are rife. Something that breaks the isolation is good, even if they have to bribe them in with bacon goodness. My only complaint is women don’t get offered them too, or if women are expected to cook them.

Catering for the vegan Dad's too.

There's no issue here.

All welcome except Muslim or Jewish Dad's (unless you bring your own filling). Joking aside It reminds me of days of yore even knowing there are still community groups who focus on strengthening family bonds. I think it's bloody lovely.

I'm offended by the lack of apostrophes... But what a truly horrible idea in the modern age where gender and parental groupings are so much more fluid.

This was happening a few years back in our area…. It was set up to encourage and support men to to meet up and talk, because men don’t do that like women… we have lots of groups that serve tea and biscuits and men don’t tend to attend because they’re very female/mum heavy groups… I think encouraging ‘dad’ groups is great!