AIBU about my boundaries

[Lilyacpark]

Hi all

first time poster long time follower! I recently had a baby she is 10 weeks now. Myself and DP had to move in with my parents because our accommodation flooded and our heating stopped working while I was pregnant.

for the most part things have been good, parents have been supportive of us. When I gave birth I had my heart set on BF. This didn’t seem to be an issue until I got home..
apparently no one in my household was OK with this..even though it had been discussed beforehand and everyone seemed supportive.

so I came home using a pump instead. I had a section and didn’t know this at the time but was brewing a septic infection in my incision which opened back up.. and found it so difficult to get up and down the stairs to my room every 2 hrs for pumping.. so asked could I pump in the corner away from everyone in another room downstairs only to be told no? 😑 no one would want to see that I’d make everyone uncomfortable!!

feels so silly typing all this, I’ve had two MCs previously and the last one was fairly horrific.. I ended up with surgery and haemorrhaging, took a while to recover. I want to know AIBU

i feel like my parents are overbearing and controlling the way I parent my new baby..
I asked that they wash their hands before they touch her face and no kissing her until she’s a little older.. they’ve all taken this personally and have been calling me abnormal saying I’m going to harm my child by not giving her bacteria to build her immune system? I agree with the bacteria but I just want to take precaution until she’s a little sturdier.
DF has cold sores on regular basis btw.

it’s caused the unholiest of arguments between us all and Im at a loss as to how to proceed with it.. I don’t think we can move until next summer….

so AIBU about the hand washing before touching her face and no kissing until she’s a little older maybe 4-6 months? And OBV no kissing from DF while he has cold sores.

im ok with my household picking her up with unwashed hands provided not dirty just not going for her face 😂

can I ask other mumsnetters when did they allow a lax on similar hygiene standards? I was thinking 6 months? Thanks so much

xxx

Please just persevere with the breastfeeding and don't go upstairs to pump. Use a cover as a compromise to them that's all you need to do. Just try and ignore their comments about it they are being deeply unreasonable and 99% of the UK population would back you up here. There is no need for you to hide upstairs when breastfeeding.
Know that you are in the right. Do not let their comments get in the way of feeding your baby how you want to. Stay strong.

Can't you start breast feeding baby in your room and basically come out of your room less and less. Or if you're feeling stronger now that baby to your room for every feed? I think they're being horrible but just to get through it.

@Cvn

i wanted to thank you so much for your response, and to apologise I’m a few days late. I took a few days off the phone.. I was so surprised the amount of very supportive answers and some less so.

Thank you for your kind words, I had the whooping cough vax during pregnancy as soon as I could avail of it.

I started to attempt BF again, with help of phn, she seems to be breast refusing, goes very tense, screams etc, So the only other option is no to persevere and pump in meantime. I’ve a lot to think about I feel so hard done by given the situation.

I may make peace with the decision and FF and will be far more educated and know for next time 🥲 I truly wish I had a supportive MW like you while I was in the Hosp 💗

I truly appreciate you taking the time to respond to me 🤗 thank you Xxx