Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have sent my kid to school this morning

153 replies

DinoSand · 05/10/2023 08:53

Got the guilt. DD is 4. Just started reception. Was just settling into school routine

Sunday night: vomited x 2
Monday: unwell on sofa. No sick
Tuesday: seemed much better but then a little bit sick again at 6pm after dinner.
Wednesday: absolutely fine, jumping off walls, eating all day.
Thursday (today): ate huge breakfast. Fine. Sent to school

I haven't stuck to the 48 hour rule as that would be 6pm today.

AIBU?

OP posts:
EaudeJavel · 05/10/2023 11:02

Schools don't want your vomiting kids. When your little darling gives the "mild" bug to the teacher, it might not be that mild for them anyway, but it's an entire class it impacts, plus the other classes of siblings.

When schools run out of adults, not even to teach, but to at least supervise the class, you have a problem.

But it's ok, it's only because a lazy parent couldn't be arsed to keep their child away for the requested time.

Goldbar · 05/10/2023 11:05

If schools don't want vomiting kids, why do they insist that the siblings of vomiting kids come in? Makes no sense.

Comtesse · 05/10/2023 11:05

I would come to the same conclusion as OP, I don’t think it’s at all shocking.

drspouse · 05/10/2023 11:07

My DS was sick after complaining of a headache yesterday and this morning. We suspect migraine but he also has epilepsy and tends to vomit after a fit. If he had to have 48h off after every episode of sickness he'd be off half each week.

pacificoceanwhale · 05/10/2023 11:10

JFYI - What you've described is how my DC's recent bout of Covid presented itself....they tested positive on day 3

LolaSmiles · 05/10/2023 11:10

I understand people taking the view that 48hours runs out at 10am, so if the child is well they send them in.

I don't understand people knowing the whole school day is well under 48 hours but it's easier for them so send them in.

There's parents and families with a range of circumstances and I think it's a bit shitty if some families have to lose 3-4 days pay to take leave whilst all their children get a sickness bug one after the other) because one parent decides to send their child into school well within the 48 hour window to infect others.

Passepartoute · 05/10/2023 11:10

Tangofantastic · 05/10/2023 10:35

Exactly this. Beyond selfish, the 48 hour
rule is there for a reason, not
to just let you send your kid back when it suits
you. Immunocompromised kids rely on other parents taking this rule
seriously. Shame
on you.

It isn't really, though, is it? It's a fairly arbitrarily number. Is a healthy child who has not vomited for 39 hours and has only vomited a little on one occasion in three days really going to be any more infectious than a child who has waited another 9 hours?

Fixyourself · 05/10/2023 11:11

You prioritised yourself over your child, every child in their class and their families. YABVU

StampOnTheGround · 05/10/2023 11:12

YANBU - I would have sent DS in the same circumstances.

Xmasbaby11 · 05/10/2023 11:20

Sounds fine to me as it's not far off 48 hours. It's what I'd do, and I follow the rules more than other families I know. I would say most I know would have sent their kids back on Tues!

Lucky for those who work pt or flexibly or wfh, but it's really, really not easy taking endless days off work for child illness and having unpaid leave and burdening your colleagues. Likely parents weigh these things up if they are more or less following the rules.

Cheeseandlobster · 05/10/2023 11:24

Topseyt123 · 05/10/2023 08:57

I used to do the same. Once they were fine then it was straight back to school. I gave the 48 hour rule no headspace.

Huge breakfast and bouncing off the walls is fine for school.

How arrogant of you. No headspace? Selfish despicable behaviour

LargeglassofRosePlease · 05/10/2023 11:30

This shit makes my piss boil.

We’ve got little immune compromised people in our reception class. We have also got children receiving life saving cancer treatment.

YAVVVVV unreasonable. And you know it.

It is awful- so very selfish and ignorant
of you to do that.
Your irresponsible parenting could make lots of other people incredibly unwell.

I hope Karma bites you on the arse.

LargeglassofRosePlease · 05/10/2023 11:31

Xmasbaby11 · 05/10/2023 11:20

Sounds fine to me as it's not far off 48 hours. It's what I'd do, and I follow the rules more than other families I know. I would say most I know would have sent their kids back on Tues!

Lucky for those who work pt or flexibly or wfh, but it's really, really not easy taking endless days off work for child illness and having unpaid leave and burdening your colleagues. Likely parents weigh these things up if they are more or less following the rules.

🙄

Beautiful3 · 05/10/2023 11:36

Yes I think that's fine.

Sunnydays41 · 05/10/2023 11:44

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 05/10/2023 09:03

It’s 24 hours for sick and 48 hours for diarrhoea so YANBU

No, it's not... It's 48 hours since the last episode of diarrhoea or vomiting.

Did you just make that up?!

Sunnydays41 · 05/10/2023 11:45

Finteq · 05/10/2023 09:14

Mines had a cough for a few days.

I've sent her in.

If I kept her off for every cough, she would never go in.

A cough is vastly different to sickness and diarrhea 🙄

Sunnydays41 · 05/10/2023 11:50

Coughingdodger · 05/10/2023 09:25

YANBU. Kids have to pick up common bugs some time. They can’t avoid common germs all their life long.

With something like norovirus though, it doesn't matter how many times you're exposed to it, you never get lifelong immunity. I think at best it gives you a couple of months immunity.

So there is absolutely no point in being unnecessarily exposed to it. It doesn't help the immune system whatsoever and actually likely lowers your general immunity immediately afterwards and makes you more vulnerable to picking up other infections.

Thementalloadisreal · 05/10/2023 11:55

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 05/10/2023 09:01

YANBU.

Anecdote: our GP despairs at the blanket 48 hour thing.
Says any D&V is about 99% to be down to something one child ate or poor personal hygiene around food and therefore not a "bug". In other countries the 48 hour thing and obsession over "bugs" isn't even a thing. And strangely, they don't have entire classes off school because they all caught the vom.

Surely there’s a chance they could be sick again at school though, within a day or so, eg. op’s child seemed fine Tuesday then sick again at 6pm.

Its not just the “bug” issue that means you should wait but the idea that teachers and children shouldn’t have to deal with vomit in the classroom, not to mention that it’s upsetting for the child who is sent to school to then be sick in front of their friends.

ToadOnTheHill · 05/10/2023 11:56

All the people saying the 48 hour rule is arbitrary 😂

Yeah, the viral load is highest in that time, you are literally breathing and shitting out the infectious particles.

I'd love to see the contrary evidence that the rule is basically made up or peddled that it is common sense and not actually scientific...GO!

Tangofantastic · 05/10/2023 11:58

According to gastro team, yes. 48 hours is the safe amount of tome
for Norovirus (most
common cause of gastro bug) to no longer be contagious. They don’t make these numbers up arbitrarily. When my immune compromised daughter picks up a sickness bug she automatically has
to be admirer and put on IV antibiotics until they determine infection source. Thankfully the parents at her school know this and keep
to the 48 hour rule which helps
massively, you should to. It’s 48 hours for a reason, same as it’s 30mph not 40mph in residential streets
as that “small difference” makes a huge one. Just be kind to other parents and kids who have health challenges and stick to the rules, please 🙏

NeedToChangeName · 05/10/2023 11:59

YABU

But Covid / lockdown opened my eyes to how selfish people can be

crumblingschools · 05/10/2023 12:04

Do people have the same cavalier attitudes towards D&V when visiting elderly relatives either in their home or care homes etc

Sunnydays41 · 05/10/2023 12:05

EaudeJavel · 05/10/2023 11:02

Schools don't want your vomiting kids. When your little darling gives the "mild" bug to the teacher, it might not be that mild for them anyway, but it's an entire class it impacts, plus the other classes of siblings.

When schools run out of adults, not even to teach, but to at least supervise the class, you have a problem.

But it's ok, it's only because a lazy parent couldn't be arsed to keep their child away for the requested time.

Yes, I always find they affect adults much worse than kids. My DD has been particularly prone to catching sickness bugs (inevitably due to people not following the 48-hour rule! 😠) and usually sick for a few hours, then back to her normal happy self and starving. When I've caught it from her, I'm usually sick almost constantly for 12 hours, then feel as if I've been run over for the next couple of days. Literally my whole body hurts.

Like anything, some people are more prone to catching sickness bugs than others. I wonder if those who are so blasé about it are those lucky enough to generally avoid catching them.

We went through a horrific period after Covid when DD literally caught a sickness bug every five weeks for five months (because of Covid restrictions, she hadn't had one for nearly two years during it!).

Cumbrianlife · 05/10/2023 12:06

ODFOD, rules are there for a reason. Your little bug could put my CHD DC in hospital or worse.

Tangofantastic · 05/10/2023 12:12

Passepartoute · 05/10/2023 11:10

It isn't really, though, is it? It's a fairly arbitrarily number. Is a healthy child who has not vomited for 39 hours and has only vomited a little on one occasion in three days really going to be any more infectious than a child who has waited another 9 hours?

Show quote history

According to consultant at the gastro team, yes. 48 hours is the safe amount of tome
for Norovirus (most
common cause of gastro bug) to no longer be contagious. They don’t make these numbers up arbitrarily. When my immune compromised daughter picks up a sickness bug she automatically has
to be admitted and put on IV antibiotics until they determine infection source. Thankfully the parents at her school know this and keep
to the 48 hour rule which helps massively, you should too.
It’s 48 hours for a reason, same as it’s 30mph not 40mph in residential streets
as that “small difference” makes a huge one. Just be kind to other parents and kids who have health challenges and stick to the rules, please 🙏