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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This mum just blocked my toddler from approaching hers

413 replies

Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 14:17

was in town today walking through M&S , with my 3 yr old.
We had just bought toys in the previous shop so he was out of pram and walking with his new toys in his hands and was excited about them.
Walking parallel to us was also a mum with toddler (around two)
My son approached him from the side and started walking directly next to him showing him his toys whilst they were both walking , the child smiled in response and didn't appear to seem at unease, however the mum swiftly stopped and put her arm out in front of my son blocked him between her arm and a Column so that he couldn't go any further and then she said ' excuse me ' as if for him to back away.
He turned to face me and I swooped him up and said ' he's only a toddler'
To which she didn't respond, she carried on walking and I changed direction.
I was left feeling quite sad for my son
I just wanted other mum's opinions on this . Was I in the wrong for letting my child approach hers , I guess everyone is entitled to their personal space. However I never anticipated that reaction it just seemed like a mean thing to do , and I'm always very welcoming to other kids that approach us

OP posts:
Ineedasitdown · 04/10/2023 16:45

those saying other mother was rude- is it not fairly entitled to think a random stranger owes you an explanation as to why they aren’t indulging playtime on a supermarket trip?

I also have little time these days for having to referee the fall out from the interactions of children with over indulgent mothers who seem to think the world revolves around them and their child. It’s tiring. And not my problem. (I’m not the other mum- dc are older )

Hufflepods · 04/10/2023 16:46

@Illbebythesea it’s not a lesser reason, just makes you a bit of a dick that’s all! 😄

How in earth does it make you a dick for not wanting to engage with a total stranger when you have given no signals that you would like to stop and talk to them or engage further?

Wondering if you feel the same when it’s a random man in a shop following after you??

MysteryBelle · 04/10/2023 16:47

jays · 04/10/2023 16:27

It was rude. Don’t listen to all the bollocks on here saying it wasn’t. It was. She could have had a million reasons but all it would have taken was a little eye contact with you and a ‘sorry he’s tantrum prone/not well/about to have a melt down, whatever. I was rude and honestly, don’t let folk on here gaslight you into thinking it wasn’t. So many folk all against gaslighting yet they do it on here to OP’s on a daily basis. It was rude.

Perfectly said.

inamarina · 04/10/2023 16:47

margotrose · 04/10/2023 16:39

She could have smiled briefly, said they were in a hurry, then OP probably wouldn’t end up feeling awkward.

She could have, but she didn't have to.

OP wouldn't have felt awkward if she hadn't allowed her toddler to randomly approach another in the first place.

Sorry, but I just don’t see the issue with a three year old briefly approaching a two year old and showing them their toy. Nothing that I have to ‚allow‘.
How do children learn to interact with others (other children), if they’re always micromanaged?
The other woman didn’t have to smile, of course not, nobody ever has to be friendly or polite to others, but it’s nicer when we are.

CatamaranViper · 04/10/2023 16:47

OP the lady doesn't know you or your kid. You don't know her or hers.
He kid could be a biter, a hitter, immunocompromised etc
She could have just had bad news, been in a rush (might be a surprise to some people on this thread that parents do still have things to do other than float around admiring other children) etc.

Maybe she felt like she was being used as temporary childcare while you just did whatever you wanted (since you didn't seem to get involved), did you even speak to the mother?

Whenever DS approached other kids I always looked for their parents first to see if it was okay and always at least made the effort to say hi to them.

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 16:47

Mistressanne · 04/10/2023 15:38

It's like Little Britain with Catherine Tate on MN today.
Oh Annabel don't let that feral toddler touch you, run while Mummy blocks him.

😂😂

I so wish I still had a toddler at home to use that line 😂

Tryingmybestadhd · 04/10/2023 16:48

Not something I would do , if I was in a hurry I would say to my toddler , say bye bye to your friend and would probably just say “ sorry hun we can’t stop to long today “ just so the other parent wouldn’t feel as you and the child didn’t think it was them .

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 16:49

How do children learn to interact with others (other children), if they’re always micromanaged?

by teaching them to respect people's personal space and not invade stranger's peace and quiet? Just like that I would say...

PuddlesPityParty · 04/10/2023 16:49

MysteryBelle · 04/10/2023 16:47

Perfectly said.

Show quote history

Why is the OP owed that though?

She isn’t owed an explanation? The poor woman could’ve just been having a bad day and couldn’t face a meltdown etc etc, sometimes you just want to get home and have quiet and that’s okay!

margotrose · 04/10/2023 16:50

inamarina · 04/10/2023 16:47

Sorry, but I just don’t see the issue with a three year old briefly approaching a two year old and showing them their toy. Nothing that I have to ‚allow‘.
How do children learn to interact with others (other children), if they’re always micromanaged?
The other woman didn’t have to smile, of course not, nobody ever has to be friendly or polite to others, but it’s nicer when we are.

Show quote history

Children can learn to interact with others without approaching them in shops uninvited.

In fact, maybe this particular interaction could go some way to teaching the 3yo that we don't approach other children in the street and show them our toys without asking first.

vapesareforsnakes · 04/10/2023 16:50

The absolute and utter unnecessary drama over nothing. This didn't need a thread. This didn't even need a second thought.

Illbebythesea · 04/10/2023 16:53
Happy Big Brother GIF by MOODMAN

How in earth does it make you a dick for not wanting to engage with a total stranger when you have given no signals that you would like to stop and talk to them or engage further?

Wondering if you feel the same when it’s a random man in a shop following after you??

^^

Illbebythesea · 04/10/2023 16:53

The other woman didn’t have to smile, of course not, nobody ever has to be friendly or polite to others, but it’s nicer when we are.

🙏

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 04/10/2023 16:53

Mumsnet is a horrible toxic place where no-one seems to enjoy being around children!

OP, you'll obviously never know, but my instinct is she did not want her toddler to steal the toys and meltdown when they were taken off and returned to yours.

Katypp · 04/10/2023 16:54

Well, I think this threads must win the award for whataboutery and every excuse and reason under the sun to excuse what I would consider pretty rude and abrupt behaviour.
Today's children are going to grow up with no idea whatsoever of how to interact or communicate with anyone who isn't vetted and approved by their parents.
Does no-one chat or make small talk with strangers at the till, on the bus, in an entry queue or at the school gates anymore? This generation of children will have lost that skill and be suspicious of anyone and everyone. I despair for civilisation sometimes if some of the responses on this thread are anything to go by.

inamarina · 04/10/2023 16:54

CharlotteBog · 04/10/2023 16:44

Meh....this is getting ridiculous.
I'm not even the OP.
Apparently I am bored and lonely with all my talking to random people in public.

Don’t worry, where I live there seem to be lots of ‚bored, attention-starved‘ women (and men!) chatting to each other on the street, in the shops and on the bus.
Don’t they know shops are not for chatting? Apparently not, they seem quite happy though.

CatamaranViper · 04/10/2023 16:56

I'd love to hear the other ladies'version of events.

I doubt OP and her child were as sweet as she is making out

Original poster
Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 16:57

If you were close enough to grab your child then you were also uncomfortably close behind the woman and she may have felt intimidated by you being so close and not speaking to her

Lol really... this is what your going with

OP posts:
Katypp · 04/10/2023 16:58

Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 16:57

If you were close enough to grab your child then you were also uncomfortably close behind the woman and she may have felt intimidated by you being so close and not speaking to her

Lol really... this is what your going with

Yes, I think that comment wins first prize

Mulhollandmagoo · 04/10/2023 16:59

margotrose · 04/10/2023 16:40

Saying "Excuse me" and moving your child away isn't being rude.

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Putting her arm out and blocking a toddler from walking is quite rude though.....

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 16:59

CatamaranViper · 04/10/2023 16:56

I'd love to hear the other ladies'version of events.

I doubt OP and her child were as sweet as she is making out

I doubt the other lady will even know what you are talking about, it's such a non event, she'll have forgotten immediately 😂

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 17:01

inamarina · 04/10/2023 16:54

Don’t worry, where I live there seem to be lots of ‚bored, attention-starved‘ women (and men!) chatting to each other on the street, in the shops and on the bus.
Don’t they know shops are not for chatting? Apparently not, they seem quite happy though.

Show quote history

do you live in a 50s soap opera ? 😂😂

SouthLondonMum22 · 04/10/2023 17:01

You are right, everyone is entitled to personal space and for whatever reason, the mum wanted that personal space today.

No big deal.

inamarina · 04/10/2023 17:01

Mistressanne · 04/10/2023 15:38

It's like Little Britain with Catherine Tate on MN today.
Oh Annabel don't let that feral toddler touch you, run while Mummy blocks him.

😄

Frabbits · 04/10/2023 17:01

Mulhollandmagoo · 04/10/2023 16:59

Putting her arm out and blocking a toddler from walking is quite rude though.....

Show quote history

Nah, it's not. If you don't want a random kid coming up to you, what else are you supposed to do?